Friday, September 21, 2018

Shut the...

..fuck up.

Seriously. A lot of people right now just need to shut the fuck up.

"She doesn't remember the date."

"She doesn't remember who threw the party."

"She waited too long."

"He's a really nice guy."

"He denies being at the party."

"Think of what he has to explain to his family."

"Of course she should be heard but..."

"If it's credible we can delay the hearings."

*sigh*

Things I don't remember:

The date.
The type of car he drove.
Where we went after church that day.
Who was at youth group or at where ever we went after church.
What color shirt he was wearing.
What color shirt I was wearing.
How I got the car door open.

Things I do remember:

The smell of his breath.
The feeling of him tugging at my jeans.
The asphalt in my palms from where I fell out of the car.
The sound of his vomit hitting the road.
The sick feeling in my stomach when I realized he was right and nobody would ever believe me.

So shut the fuck up about what she should OBVIOUSLY remember.

Things that are making me cringe now.

The whole "if it's credible we can delay the hearings." This is a two-fer. First off, what we've already heard is credible. From someone who had a similar experience, not exact, I knew my attacker much better (here is where I wrote about it) I can tell you that the feeling it invoked in me reading it made it credible. I don't know if it actually happened, but it's not a crazy whacked out story. So we're already at credible. But it's the second part that is making me so fucking mad I can spit. Delay the hearings. Not get a different nominee. Not say, yeah no, you aren't really okay for the court. But delay the hearings and seat his ass anyway.

There is also this same double fucking standard that we see all the goddamn time. Somehow she, at 15, should have been in control enough to have this happen to her and then have the strength to go to the police and report an attempted rape and she should have stood up to him and she should have...she should have...she should have. While we get the same people saying it was just roughhousing from him. That boys will be boys that how in the world are we supposed to hold a 53 year old man responsible for what he did at 17. But SHE...well she should have...

Not all men try to rape someone when they are teenagers. Even if, EVEN IF, you want to talk about boys trying to go a little further, push a boundary line a little, EVEN IF you think that's okay, putting your hand over someone's mouth when they try to scream is NEVER a normal dating thing. So if you want to say that what she says happened might have happened but it's not a big deal you are saying that trying to rape someone is just not that significant. So shut the fuck up.

Of course we want to hear her testimony against this wonderful human being who we cannot imagine could have ever done such a thing.

Oh well...yeah...this is going to be a fair and impartial hearing isn't it?

I will tell you right now I could not sit and be impartial for this. I couldn't. I don't know what happened. But I'm inclined to believe someone who has a story close to mine. So when I see a group of men say things like, "She must be mixed up." I don't see an impartial hearing either.

It's all political.

Maybe. Maybe it is. But sometimes even when you know it's a political set up there is enough doubt there that you have to let someone go and replace them. Have him call Al Franken and ask how you deal with the anger when you know you've been sacrificed at that particular altar.

Trump tweeted today that if the attack was that bad she would have gone to the police.

Do you know who I told when it happened? Nobody.
Do you know when I told my parents? Never.
Do you know how long I kept it to myself? Years.
Do you know how many people I've said his name to? Three.

So shut the fuck up about what you think she would have done. You don't know.

And here is my last one (maybe not last, I might have more, I'm ranting, there is often ONE MORE THING after the last thing)....

He says that he wasn't at that party.
She doesn't remember what party it was.
Isn't this the part where your guilt is realized because how do you know you weren't at THAT party when she hasn't said what party it is? Unless he's saying he never went to a party in highschool so he couldn't have been at THAT party. But that's not what he's saying, right? He wasn't at that party. Which party was that?

The boy who attempted to rape me told me no one would believe me. That if I said anything he would tell everyone it was my fault. I believed him then. It's a fucking shame that he's still right.

Kavanaugh has already proven to be less than forthcoming in testimony before Congress (isn't it amazing the euphemisms we have for lying these days?) why should we believe him over her in this case?

She tried to do the right thing. To give information she felt was important to know to the proper people in the only way she had of doing it. She's gotten death threats. She's being dragged through the mud. She's been doxed.

So you want to talk about what she should have done if what she is saying is true? I have one thing for you. If what she's saying is true HE should have kept his fucking hands to himself. And you should shut the fuck up.

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