No, really. It is! Eleven short days away!
This isn't actually the yearly birthday blog where I talk about the past year and do some reflections there, or at least I'm not planning on it being that, it's just a bonus birthday blog, I'm turning 50 this year, I get bonus blogs!
A friend of mine who is turning 50 this year as well asked me today if I'm freaking out about it at all. I thought about it for all of two seconds. I'm not. But most of you know that. I don't freak out about age and birthdays. My parents had me when they were older so my view of "old" is really skewed.
A lot of my friends have been hitting this milestone over the past two years as well. Some of them have taken it in stride, some have freaked the fuck out and one labeled 2018 Birthday Year which please believe if I had thought of it I TOTALLY would have done! How brilliant is that? A milestone birthday needs a whole YEAR to celebrate! LOVE!
But for me? It's just a number. It's a good number. Nice and round. And since I'm planning on living to be 100 it's solidly middle aged. Halfway. Which is pretty cool.
Fifty! I like it. Fifty is Nifty. Corny but I'm also liking that. I'm actually tossing ideas in my head about how to mark the year ahead. Maybe even the decade. The norm has shifted right? Fifty really isn't old. People do all sorts of things at 50 that they wouldn't have done 30 years ago. Look at pictures of your grandparents or parents (depending on how old they are) at 50 and then look at your peers who are that age. We aren't as "old." So maybe it's time to celebrate the decade instead of dread it. I am also slightly manic and have been in an insomnia patch so I am not committing to ANYTHING right now because right now my eyes are bigger than my stomach so to speak.
Now...don't get me wrong. There are things that make me realize I'm older. My knees. Which have gone from early onset arthritis to perfectly age appropriate arthritis. Brent mentioned that he also realizes his age when he sits down in a quiet room and hears the crackle of his joints. I have a scar on my arm right now from a small injury that wouldn't have left a mark 20 years ago. I cannot push through injuries at the gym. When I told the doctor that I was gaining weight this year and hadn't changed anything she told me "yeah that sucks." I said, "you are supposed to give me help." and she said, "That's my help. Getting old sucks."
Well fuck...
And yes, I've been posting about the trials and tribulations of menopause because I don't think we talk about how women's bodies change nearly enough. And yes, that is a part of getting older that sucks as well.
And well, there is the skin thing. Like I have weird little dry wrinkles that I never had before. Also greeted with a "Getting old sucks" from my doctor. She's blunt but I do really dig her. And I have a few little brown patches that I never had before. Not the dewy faced tot looking back at me in the mirror.
But that's all part of aging. And it's okay. It's natural and I have hair dye to cover the partially gray thing until my hair all goes gray and I wear it like a silver shield. It's fine.
I'm not even kidding or being sarcastic.
It's a reminder (and at times a "This SUCKS!" reminder) that I am almost 50 years old. That I cannot recover from misusing my body like I used to. That the signs of that misuse are starting to be shown. But I still don't feel old. And I still am not bothered by another birthday. And I still get enough "you can't be old enough to have a son that old" or "YOU are retired? HOW?" or "You guys got married as babies right?" So my vanity gets fed as well.
I have a lot more birthdays to go.
Compliments and Cake month in full effect!
How are you doing, by the way? Have you been telling people nice things that you are thinking about them? Have you been eating the yummy treats? It's fruit season here, the part where berry season and peach season meet as a nice Peach Melba and...oh my...
So tell someone how great they are today and have some treat soon. You deserve it. And don't freak out about the number. It's fine. Really it is.
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