Still here? Okay, let's get started then.
As I have been planning out my summer schedule one of the things was to figure out what workouts I could do without aggravating my foot and potentially bringing that surgery closer instead of farther away. So as I thought about it and what I really wanted to accomplish I thought about my 6 Month Fit Challenge from last year. You remember that one right? The one where I discovered that in my mid 40s I can't push myself like I did in my 20s and not pay a price? And the one that abruptly ended when I bashed my toe. So anyway, I have the book from where I was tracking results and I thought I would take a peek and see how far backwards I've fallen. And I was shocked and surprised to see that I haven't. I've lost another 5 pounds since I had to end the challenge. My push-ups are still in the excellent range, though since I can't be on my toe in full plank my dream of doing full on push-ups is pretty much over.
So I was pretty pleased. Until I looked at the BMI chart. According to my BMI I am still overweight. I am 11 1/2 pounds lighter than I was last August when I thought I would try and lose around 10 pounds. I wear a size small in tops. A size 8 in jeans, and honestly I bet depending on the cut I could wear a 6 there. I am right on the happy edge for me where I fit all of my clothes, still have a figure and am not being told by people that I am too thin. See Skinny Bitch would like to be about 100 pounds. Genetics, love of food and general laziness mean I could hit 200 easily. I try and split the difference and hang between 140 and 150. Eek! Have I ever actually told you my numbers before? Scary...but that's kind of the point for this blog so there they are. As of right now I weigh 145. Which for my 5'5" frame is overweight. According to the fitness book I am tracking in. According to this website it's just in to the normal range.
And this is where my problem is. If the books we look at, the information we are trying to make decisions from can't agree then what are we supposed to do? It's one thing to deal with growing up having not seen 100 pounds since elementary school to constantly be bombarded with images from magazines of women that always seem to have 125 listed at the "ideal weight" no matter what their body shape or height. You learn to adjust and accept (some of us just take longer than others) and you turn to other ways to measure. Like...do my clothes fit?
And here is where it makes me crazy. I posted a picture yesterday on my feed. I'm in a small top, a small cardigan, size 8 jeans. You can see my clavicles because of the angle I am holding the camera. I don't look heavy in that shot by any stretch, but I am also not small. I'm not a small person. Just not built that way. But everything I am wearing is "small" but it's not. Not really. Those size smalls would have been mediums when I was growing up. The size 8 jeans? At least a 10 but quite possibly a 12. Vanity sizing. It's nuts.
I was first aware of it when I was in my late teens and early 20s. My mother-in-law, bless her heart, tried her best to upscale my wardrobe choices a bit. Wife beaters, shaker sweaters and torn jeans just weren't her idea of flattering. So she took me shopping. And Dillard's carried Liz Claiborne. Which at the time was a more upscale brand than it is now. So she grabbed an outfit off the rack for me to try on in the size that I knew I was and it was HUGE on me. So we went down a size. Then down another. How could this be? How could I be two sizes smaller than I knew I was? I wasn't. But Liz had figured out that if a size 10 woman had a choice between buying a size 6 dress or a size 10 dress they were going to choose the size 6.
I also saw this when I worked in retail. Women would latch on to a size and not let go. "This brand runs small, I would suggest trying on at least two sizes larger than you think you need, right now I'm wearing a 14." (I wasn't I was wearing a 10 but if the woman I was looking at was going to try and force her way in to an 8 because she had ALWAYS been an 8 then I was going to end up with ruined clothes and no sale) So brands saw this, and changed.
I have known for years that women's clothing did it. When I dropped weight after getting to my biggest I still had jeans in the closest from before I had C. I couldn't wait to put them back on. So as I hit that size in my new jeans I dug them out and...couldn't pull them up! I remember laying my old jeans on top of my new ones (same brand, supposedly the same size) and making Brent look at them. There was no way they were the same size. The waist was probably an inch to two inches smaller. The legs were cut completely different. And these weren't "relaxed fit" versus "skinny jeans" these were just jeans.
So you start to realize that size doesn't mean anything and you have to try things on and not get hooked on what the size is on the label. Which is good because I have everything from a 4 to a 10 in my closet. A friend of mine posted yesterday that just recently she went shopping and bought a range of 5 different sizes! In one shopping trip! In ONE store! So you shift to; How do you feel? Are you healthy? Is your BMI in a good range?
D'oh! There is that pesky BMI again! If I lose the weight to get in to the range the book says I should be in it's another 5 pounds and when I start knocking on 140 and less that's when people start worrying about my weight. Which is CRAZY to say because we all know that 140 is a pretty big girl. But see, I'm solid. Always have been. Good strong bones. Legs and butt are strong, which also happen to have big heavy muscles, I have boobs, I have hips, at least I cut my hair off so I'm not carrying that weight.... But still, I'm not a small girl, I'm a solid woman. Aren't men lucky to not have to deal with this?
Oh wait, they do too. When I posted my picture yesterday I heard the male voices of frustration as well. One friend is the same size he was in college (after working at getting fit again, Congrats!) and yet his pants size is a size smaller and his BMI rating is overweight. Though I would say he's thin if you asked me! Another was the same way, he has been working out, playing water polo, fit fit fit...and can't fit his old jeans even though they are the same size he is wearing now. What do people do who really are thin? One friend of mine shops in the young men's section for his jeans. He's not a super small guy, just super fit and thin. So a small adult size has been relegated to medium sized adults so a large adult can wear the medium and feel better. It's crazy.
So what do we do? Stop worrying about sizes. Take even BMI with a grain of salt. Be happy with your level of fitness. How are your blood test results? How is your over all general health? Are you comfortable in your own skin? For me I watch my weight because I'm vain. Well okay, I also watch my weight because I am genetically predisposed to obesity and heart disease and all of the other complications that come along with obesity. I know how easy it is for me to gain weight. And I know the health risks that go with it. I also know how easy it is for me to get obsessive about my weight, which is why the BMI thing yesterday triggered the crazy switch. So I watch that as well. Healthy weight for me means not too high, not too low. As my friend Tiffany said, if you feel good in your clothes (or out of them) then you're good!
But I'm still going to bitch about the sizing issue...what is someone who hates shopping supposed to do if you have to try every stinking thing on??
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| Me at 18, (wiping pie off my face) I weighed about 125 in this shot |
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| Me yesterday. 145 wearing the "same" sizes as I was at 18 |
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