The stages...

Julia's phone buzzed alerting her a new text message. A quick glance let her know it was from Brad. She sighed and put the phone back down on the table without reading the message.

Her friends Alicia and Michelle both gave her the expectant eyebrow faces waiting for the story.

"Brad and I had an argument as I was leaving tonight. I don't want to keep fighting right now. I sent him a reply to his last message telling him I would talk to him when I got home. But he wants to talk now. So I am ignoring the text, okay?"

"First fight? Sounds like the honeymoon is over."

Julia corrected Alicia, "Actually it's not our first fight. We've been fighting all week. If something doesn't change it might be our last fight though. We went straight from early dating everything is perfect to you wheeze when you breathe and it's making me crazy in three months, it might be a new record!"

Michelle laughed, "Not a record, remember Jimmy?"

Alicia covered her face with her hands, "Oh not Jimmy!"

Jimmy and Alicia had gone on their first date on a Friday night, were living together by Sunday, engaged by Tuesday and throwing things at each other by the next Friday. The evolution and de-evolution of a relationship on fast forward.

"Oh God Jimmy! I had forgotten about him! You were in loooove. And then you were done."

Alicia smiled, "Yeah, we were perfect for each other for about 4 days. It was the best and worst relationship I've ever had and it lasted a week. There should be a name for that."

"I'm not sure anyone else but you has ever had a relationship like that, so we can just call it The Jimmy." Julia signaled for another round of drinks.

Michelle leaned back and said, "But you know what we do need? Words for the phases of a break up. You know? Like you have the honeymoon period in the beginning of a relationship where everything is perfect? You need something like that for a break up so people know where you are."

Julia laughed, "Yes, like Brad and I are about to enter the first stage of break up. The part where you cannot stand a thing about the other person anymore. What should we call it? Haterade? Sad but true?"

Alicia said, "How about The Trenches. You are still fighting but the war has moved on."

"I like it. 'No, I can't go to that party Doug might be there and we are still in The Trenches.' I like it. Next phase?" Michelle asked.

"What is the next phase? It's that little patch of  realistic thought right? Where you still know exactly why you broke up but you don't hate everything about them anymore."

"Pick up your stuff time!" Julia announced. "It needs to be a name like that. You know? It's the time you can go pick up your stuff from their house without fighting again, but you can't wait too long because you will move in to the 'oh my god I'm going to die alone why did we ever break up you were perfect' time."

Michelle started laughing, "Oh you don't want to mix up those times! I thought I was in Real Time so I stopped by his apartment to pick up my Kindle and discovered I had moved to Fairy Tale time and so we slept together. Now I'm back in The Trenches!"

As the girls were laughing Julia's phone buzzed again. Michelle pointed at it, "You know you can't just ignore that right?"

Alicia added, "Go on call him back. Let us know if we are in for a few weeks in The Trenches or if you are working it out and trying for Honeymoon 2: The Sequel."

Julia picked up her phone and started to walk outside, "As long as we never face Return of the Jimmy it will be okay." She ducked the flying pretzel and went to make her call.