So yesterday when I said all of that set your intentions and tell the world what you want stuff was nonsense? Forget I said it because today sort of contradicts that.
And also remember that I did say that because that paired with this will give you great sympathy for what Brent is dealing with...
Okay, I mentioned how hot and humid it was right? (Back out now if you think that nobody who is in Hawaii is allowed to complain about anything) It was also just crazy windy most of the time. Which in a way actually helped with the hot and humid because at least when the air was moving it would cool you off a bit by evaporating the sweat.
Miserable is about right.
Now add to this that the fake thyroid meds I started taking took me from hypothyroidism to hyperthyroidism. The hyper kicked off a savage round of insomnia and brought back my nighttime hot flashes. So hot, humid, lack of sleep. And because it was so humid and so hot let's add some chafing and some bottom of the feet blisters from sliding in my shoes.
I have never in all of our vacations to Hawaii thought, "If there was a way to go home early I would" until this trip. Thursday night I was just beat. I thought if I could go home right now I would jump at the chance. But Friday we were going to go snorkel at Captain Cook and then Friday night was the luau so it would be a good day. I was sure of it. Salvageable.
Friday morning the winds were up early. So the smooth sail wasn't going to be that smooth. Oh, and did I mention that very first time we found out I was getting sea sick now was in Hawaii going to Captain Cook to snorkel? Now that was on a speed boat and before I realized I now need to medicate and wear my bands, but still... So we get up early, get ready to go. I tuck my bands in one pocket and my dramamine in the other and we head down to grab coffee and a small snack so I can take the medication without it being too harsh.
The resort has changed to towel machines instead of towel desk. You enter your room key, the locker opens and you take however many towels you need. Kind of slick. Except when the machine is empty.
So I told Brent what to grab me to eat and I went off to find a different towel machine that was still full. No luck. Great. Fine. We can stop at the desk on the way out and ask them to grab us a couple. This is fine.
We sit down and have a couple of bites and Brent says, "I thought the boat had breakfast?"
"The boat has a little continental breakfast, but I figured we should grab something with protein, and I need it to take the pill."
Then I reach into my pocket to grab the pill and...the case is gone.
Check all of my pockets and the bands are there but no pills. Just gone.
Fine, I must have somehow not put them in the pocket after all and they are on the counter in the room, or maybe they fell out when I bent over to get my shoes. Whatever, I guess I'll just head back up real quick and check for them.
Brent asks if I'm okay because I don't look great. I told him I was frustrated and really tired. He says, you look kind of beat up. I told him that's because I feel kind of beat up. Then said you wait here while I go look for my pills.
Went up to the room and...my key won't work. Are you kidding me?
Go back down to the coffee shop and Brent asks if they were there and I'm like, no telling. My key stopped working. (This is after the access key for the parking garage stopped working the day before) Brent says, you know what? That's it, I'm calling it. We aren't going to go do this. You look like you're ill. You can't possibly do this boat trip without your pills and the store isn't open to buy more.
We went back to the room and about 15 minutes later I got hit with a massive wave of nausea. My body had finally just reached it's no more limit. I wasn't sleeping enough to handle the rest of the stresses I was putting on it and it just gave out. So we had a very quiet morning sitting on our lania watching the waves and the wind.
Then we watched game four of the WNBA finals, which we would have missed the first half of if we had gone on the snorkel tour.
This is where I think sometimes the universe talks to you. Thursday night I was like, I'm just kind of done. But I was still going to power through. Friday morning, I felt rough when I got out of bed. Then there were no towels. Then my pills disappeared. Then my key stopped working. The universe was like, look, I'm trying to tell you something here, and you aren't listening. You do not need to go on that boat today. It's going to make you feel lousy. (when I get seasick I am wiped for the rest of the day) and when I finally caved and said okay (Technically Brent said okay) the universe hit me with the nausea just to prove a point. LISTEN TO ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU
So, yeah, kind of opposite over the whole "that is all bullshit" belief from yesterday. But both are true. I think that setting your intentions and expecting the world will bend to them just because you decided it to be so it setting yourself up for disappointment. Yeah, sure, sometimes it all works out. But sometimes it doesn't. That's the real secret. That it's all arbitrary and we are not in control.
BUT what I do believe is that there are constantly things happening that if you are paying attention you can see as signs. And sometimes it's not even all that subtle. A week of getting very little sleep, matched to heat stress means doing something that will probably make you sick on a good day is a bad idea. Odds are the tube the dramamine was in slipped out of my pocket when I was off looking for a towel machine that was full. I had to go up and down a few flights of stairs and the side pocket on my swim pants is slick. Not really the universe putting a hand in there and plucking them out, but an exhausted body and mind not noticing them falling out? Sure.
I think if you set your mind to things you want to do, or experience, or even be, you will be more aware of the things around you that are steering you in that direction. The night time manta swim? It wasn't that I somehow manifested good weather, it was that we gave ourselves 3 out of 4 nights free to try to have the best shot at it. Maximized our chances. And luckily we got the best chance on day one.
So yeah, I think The Secret and books like it are hooey. But I also believe you can make yourself more intuitive and just by paying attention to the world around you it becomes easier to navigate. And I also believe that if you try and ignore your health you will get stronger and stronger reasons why you can't. Especially as you get older.
So we didn't go snorkel Captain Cook, but we've done that before, and we didn't spend the day on the water, but we've done that before as well. We did have a nice relaxing sit and enjoy the view day followed by a great basketball game and then the luau.
This particular trip to Hawaii as a whole was not my favorite, yes, it still seems weird to complain about Hawaii, but the first night made it all worth it. I just wish we would have known for sure that night would have been successful so we could have either planned to head over to Maui the next day, or maybe even headed home. But you never know what is going to happen. No matter how strongly you set your intentions or listen to the universe or cross your fingers.
Life is going to do what life is going to do, and you just have to hope you don't lose your anti nausea meds.
Or something like that...
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