“Hi, gorgeous, is this seat taken?”
“Yeah, actually I’m waiting for a friend… and yet you are already sitting down.”
“Your ‘friend’ is late and I’m here now, so I’ll just buy you a drink and keep you company.”
She pointed at the bar, “I bought my own drink already and I really am meeting someone so…”
“I think it’s a shame when a woman has to buy her own drinks. Let me correct that for you.”
“Why is it a shame?”
“Well that you didn’t have a man here to take care of you.”
“I don’t need a man to take care of me. I’m perfectly fine taking care of myself, thank you.”
“Oh sure, I mean, of course you think that. They are trying their best to make you think that. But really wouldn’t it just be easier to let a man follow the natural order of things and make you feel cherished?”
“The natural order of things?”
“Yes, men are the hunters and take care of the women. The natural order before they got their panties in a twist and started demanding change.”
“They? You’ve mentioned ‘they’ a few times now. Who is they?”
“Feminazis. You aren’t one of them, are you? Manhating feminazis.”
“Oh no, you’re one of those, what are they called, Ditto heads?”
“If you’re asking if I think Rush Limbaugh has good ideas, then the answer is yes. Have you listened to him? He speaks a lot of common sense.”
“I have not listened to him. And I won’t be listening to him. And I really don’t want your drink or your company.”
“Oh, I get it. You’re a lesbo.”
She laughed, “So I’m either a feminazi or a lesbian? That’s your only answer for why I wouldn’t want your drink or your company?”
“Yeah, you just hate men.”
“I don’t hate men. I’ve dated a few very nice men. I’ve also dated a few really wonderful women. Which means for you to have a shot at dating me not only would every single other man on the planet have to be dead but every single other woman.”
“I could fix your confusion for you. Seems like you just haven’t met the right man. You spend one night with me, and we’d clear that right up.”
“I have a feeling one night with you might actually make me swear off men forever so, yeah, if that’s what you mean this might be the first time all night you were actually right.”
“You don’t have to be such a bitch.”
“Apparently I do, because you aren’t getting the message and are still sitting in the seat I was saving for my friend.”
“Fine, Bitch, I’m leaving.”
“Oh…no…don’t…wait…stop…how will I ever get over it? And over it.”
As he stormed off, she noticed the laughter coming from her other side.
“Nicely handled. I feel like I should offer to buy you a drink just to pay for the wonderful floor show.”
“Thank you but I really am meeting a friend and don’t want to already be two drinks in when she gets here.”
“No problem, I really should be taking off anyway, it’s picking up in here now and believe it or not I only stopped in to read in a quiet place.”
“I thought I was the only one who reads in bars.”
The bartender walked over right then, “Gloria reads everywhere. It’s not just a bar specific thing.”
Gloria laughed, “It’s true. I do.” She stuck out her hand, “And now that you know my name?”
“Jade. Nice to meet you, Gloria. Maybe we’ll see each other over a book again sometime.”
“That’s always good odds where Gloria is concerned.” the bartender added.
Gloria packed up her bookbag and said goodbye to her new acquaintance. She’d have to remember to tell Ellie about the encounter. Jade would make a great character in one of her books.
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