Just Ask...

"Who are you?" She was surprisingly calm considering there was a stranger sitting on her couch. Feet propped on her end table. Shoes on.

"Well the Greeks called me Oizys and the Romans called me Miseria, lately I've been using Hillary, just because it amuses me."

"Okay...and why are you here?" She didn't ask her to take her feet off the table. She didn't want to seem bossy. To the woman who broke into her house and was sitting there like she owned it. 

"You tell me. You're the one who called."

"I called you?" She hadn't. She didn't call anyone anymore let alone strangers. 

"Yep. Loud and clear this morning. Not a lot of people call on me anymore, well, not a lot called on me before. I think people just didn't realize they could. Or by the time you think to do it you don't. Or you just talk yourself out of it, who wants to admit defeat right? Which is probably the truth. Okay, it is the truth. I know why people don't tend to call on me. I mean. I'm me."

"Well I can assure you, I did not call you. I don't even know you."

"Oizys, Miseria, Hillary, the goddess of lost causes? Did you not, just this morning, put yourself in a position of supplication and say, and I'm quoting here, 'Oh for fuck's sake, I can't catch a fucking break!' Pretty sure that was you. And you followed it up with, 'Just a little fucking help, that's all I'm asking for here.' And so here I am. A little fucking help for a lost cause."

It was her turn to sit down. How the fuck did this woman know that? It had happened right after hanging up the phone with her father. He had called to let her know that he and her step mother would not be sending her the money she was counting on to buy the food truck she had found, the one she had already signed a contract for. The money he had said was always waiting for her, whenever she needed it. The money that was supposed to compensate for the fact that she paid her own way through college while they paid for her step-brother's tuition. All of them were treated equally after all. That was always the theory. It was not her experience that it was the practice though. 

"Look, I get it, my parents are the literal embodiment of darkness and shadows. One of my brothers is the God of Stupidity. I feel you. I really do. Family can just suck."

She laughed at that. Hillary's brother should totally hang around with her step-brother. 

"Oh he knows him for sure. Sorry, I can tell what you are thinking. Kind of goes with the omnipotent gig."

"Okay, so let's say I believe you."

"You do."

"Let's say that I do. If I'm a lost cause what can you do to help me? I mean, lost cause seems kind of final right?"

"Well sure, it would be, if you didn't have a deity on your side, which you now do. I am the goddess of lost causes, which means if you are a lost cause I can help you out, right up until you stop being a lost cause. Basically think about me like a genie where you get one wish to make things better. So make it a good one because as soon as it's better, I'm not able to do anything else."

She tried to think about one thing that she could get help with that would make a difference. Just one. Not everything. One thing. But her whole life had been a life of "almost" she was almost promoted, she almost got the dream job, she almost married the man of her dreams, she almost married the woman of her dreams. Almost got the great apartment. Almost missed being in the 20 car pileup on the highway that wrecked her brand new car that was almost insured for enough to replace it. Almost had the money to buy the food truck to start her business

If there was one thing she could count on it was that she couldn't count on anything. Nothing ever came through or worked out. It was always tantalizingly close and then would slip away. Which seemed so much worse than if she had never even gotten close to success. It was the almost part that made it worse. False hope. There were times she wished she was just a complete failure instead of an almost success. It would be so much easier to never think she was going to succeed. 

"Oh wow, I wish you hadn't thought it quite like that."

"What? Wait, are you kidding me? I didn't ask anything! I was just thinking!"

"I warned you I could tell what you were thinking. I mean, I was pretty clear so I guess total failure it is....Nah, I'm just fucking with you. But do be more careful. I mean if I really thought you wanted that I would be compelled to give it to you. And sometimes people want really stupid things. Keeps my brother in business, but I'd really rather not make you a hopeless case instead of just a lost cause, you know?"

 She took a deep breath and tried to calm her heart down. "Thank you."

"Look, it's a big decision. How about I leave you alone for a few days so you can think about it and then let me know?"

"If I answer that will it count as my decision?"

"Always good to check. No, it won't. There's actually a fairly formal process I will tell you about. Some of the family are a little more capricious but I am always dealing with people who are at their literal wit's end so I want to be clear on what is asked and what it means. You just think about it and let me know when I come back, okay? But again, be careful because once you ask for something that I can feel you really think you want I'm going to be compelled to walk you through all the steps to make it official. Even if I KNOW it's a bad idea."

"Okay. Thank you."

And with that she was alone in her house. Hillary was just gone. Like she had never been there. Which face it, she probably hadn't been. She was probably dreaming right this moment and would wake up thinking about how she almost got help from an ancient Greek goddess that would have completely turned her world around. 

Almost.