Let That Guard Down...

..and that was a mistake.

I went in last month and adjusted all of my goal numbers for what I would need to hit each month to make my numbers by the end of the year. I had done really well at the beginning with some things and not great at others so I just needed to rebalance and know what I was aiming for so I could hit the right numbers. And it wasn't really terrible at all. I could do less than I was thinking and still hit most everything. Realized that the odds were I wasn't going to actually submit anything this year but that was okay. I mean I was doing so well on everything else.

So of course I just did nothing this month. I mean I know it's not over yet, but we leave for Disney on Saturday so basically this week is all that I have left for September and well...this is blog number four for the month which puts me five under for what I should do. What?

How does that happen?

I mean I was so focused on making it through August because August is the fucking worst and then September hit and I just...

Stopped. 

I mean I've really done nothing. 

What the hell?

How often does that happen? I mean, I assume it happens to all of us. We get so focused on getting past one thing, or getting one thing done that as soon as it's over we just kind of stop for awhile. Or slow way down. And then the days all slide and aside from the things we have to do none of the extras get done. 

I mean...I've taken care of the house, I've kept us fed, I checked in on friend's cats while they were in my happy place, but I let everything else kind of slide. 

Oh and I looked at a lot of houses and put some offers in on them. 

And I did a little bit of planning towards the big sort we are going to have to do if/when we move. 

And I watched a TV show that my kid recommended, which doesn't seem like doing anything but when you are retired you totally get to count things like TV shows as a thing you completed. 

But I didn't do the things I was thinking I wanted to do in September. 

Like write. And actually sort (past the plan part into the actual sort part). And change up my work out routine. I mean I've changed it up, but that's more often than not been eh...I could skip it today. Which is SUCH a bad habit. 

But the PT I was doing just tweaked everything and made all workouts uncomfortable so it was hard to get motivated. And now that I've been out of the routine...well...

Which that's the other thing. I did a lot of PT trying to get my Achilles and my toe to stop hurting. And that was a bust. So now I'm doing the mental reframing that I didn't actually waste over a thousand dollars (AND WE HAVE GOOD INSURANCE!) on something that absolutely was a waste of time, and not just a waste of time but a painful waste of time into I now know that what I was doing was good and I do really know my own body very well and I can get to the point where I only have discomfort at times instead of ongoing pain. And I can do that without spending more on PT. WHICH WAS SO EXPENSIVE AND DIDN'T WORK! I mean...I'm reframing. And it does actually feel better now. Still hurts a bit but it's improving now that I'm not stressing it out daily. And I'm hopeful that it will handle Disney well.

Because I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND! 

Which happens in just a few days and that means if I don't write daily, multiple times possibly, and read enough to finish a couple more books this week, and honest to god I need some fiction inspiration, I had such hopes for creepy little Grace, if those things don't start to flow then September will be gone and I will be panicking for October.

The good news though is I see 2022 as being a chill year with very few goals. Not no goals, we saw what happened in 2020 with no goals, but very few, or at least easily reachable. 

Of course I say that now during the what the hell happened to September moments, we will see what happens when I reach all my goals with a mad dash December....

And this counts. 

Gotta watch letting that guard down.