Saturday, December 5, 2020

Krampus Naught?

First Krampus Story

Nick's Turn



Archibald had been anxious all week. It was always bad this time of year and it peaked today. December 5th, Krampusnacht.

But so far, nothing. 

He hadn't been angry. 

Well, more angry than usual. He wasn't known for being Jolly after all.

But he had seemed fine. 

So far.

Archibald took a deep breath and went into Krampus's throne room. 

Krampus was sitting at a table working on a puzzle.

"Sir? Can I get you anything? Hot chocolate perhaps?"

Krampus yawned and stretched. "Nah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure, sir? Perfectly fine?"

"Yeah. I'm good. Been keeping myself busy with these," he waved a taloned hand at the stack of puzzles in the corner, "I'll send them over to Nick when I'm done and see if he can use them. Of course I won't mention this part." Krampus smiled, or at least what passed for a smile on his face and patted the stack of pieces he had been removing, one from each box.

"Do you think Nick will be working this year?"

"Yeah he'll make a few appearances; just Australia and New Zealand though. Otherwise he's staying in as well."

"And you aren't upset that you won't be going out tonight?"

"Well, look, I'm bored. We both know I'm bored, but it's just not safe out there right now. You weren't with me yet but I did the same during the plague in the 1300s and the flu in 1918. If you aren't the scariest thing they have to deal with they don't really care about you. And honestly, no offense, Archibald, but you aren't a spring chicken anymore. Can't risk bringing this home to you."

"I appreciate that sir."

"And I'm not all good will toward man. I don't know if I can catch this one. I mean I was feeling pretty good until the zombie minks, that sort of freaked me out."

Archibald started to tell Krampus they weren't actually zombies but he hadn't seen him this content in decades so left it alone. 

"And you can't really keep a safe distance and do what I do, so I'll just stick around here this year and not even try to do my old job."

"Very good, sir."

"Besides, it's not like it would do any good. You know they don't let me work anyway. And I think they are regretting it now. You let those brats grow up without any checks on them and you end up with a lot of adults who won't do the right thing even when Grandma's life depends on it."

"No, sir, I expect that's true." Archibald had a feeling he knew where this was going. 

"You know what I think started it?"

Archibald knew. "No, sir, what started it?"

"The coal." Krampus was working himself up for the grand lecture.

"The coal, sir?"

Archibald felt relieved. A calm Krampus was just disconcerting. 

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