Just Kidding...

 Yeah, so...that last blog? 

After telling a few people about my results and then publishing that blog I got a lot of feedback that I should just go ahead and get the nasal swab test. I was resisting because they had asked that I save the tests for those that are in contact with people and needed them to either clear themselves after contact with a Covid positive person or needed them to work or travel. I'm not doing any of that so fine. 

The 100th time someone asked how I was and I was like, "It's super mild. Like if I didn't know I had tested positive for the IgM antibodies I wouldn't think anything of it. Really annoying cold but not really sick" well then I thought, wait it really is just a mild cold. Like I KNOW how I feel and this is just a blip of a cold and I'm already recovering. No loss of smell or taste. Nothing unusual at all. 

And then the 100th time someone said, "How in the world could you have gotten it? You're like almost the poster child for pandemic care" I was like, "Right? How in the world?" then it was like...no wait, actually how in the world?

And then the capper, I was reading an article (I read a LOT of articles, as is my way) and someone in it commented that the test shortage is so frustrating. To get a free one you have to wait for hours and hours in line at public testing sites and hope the supply lasts while (emphasis mine) people with enough money can just go to a private lab and have it done. Oh hey, wait, I bet that's me. 

I mean, I fight for equality. I don't like that some of us have an easier time than others. But I do. And if you can't use your privilege sometimes then is it even privilege? And could I justify it? And the answer was, let's see how expensive a test is and make the call.

My friend Sara had been exposed by a client and to get back to work needed testing and quick so she had information on a private lab that her friend in the State department recommended. She gave me all of the details and one last "You should do this instead of think about it anymore" nudge. I called, they could get me in yesterday afternoon and said I should get the results by this afternoon.

Instead I got the results last night. Negative! Yay! I cannot even tell you how relieved that made me. Like legit felt like a weight was off my shoulders.

Then the doctor that owns and runs the labs asked if I could come in today for an antibody test as well. Just to verify. They'd run it for free. So sure.

So today I went in and got their antibody test. They actually gave me two different ones. They are testing people for antibodies after they give them the nasal swab test to verify their antibody test is accurate. As of right now it's 100% accurate. The people who have tested positive for Covid-19 show antibodies and the people who have tested negative don't show any, or at least any of the IgM. But his sample size is too small for him to feel completely comfortable so my test was part of his testing and verifying. Cool, I scienced, bitches.

While waiting for the results I chatted with him and learned a LOT more about the tests and the virus and testing protocols for travel to other countries and his feelings about Fred Meyer offering a non-FDA approved test and not informing people that it's really a coin flip on if the the results are accurate but they price it at just the sweet spot for people to think, "Why not see?" Which is EXACTLY what I did. Then my results from both of their tests were in...and negative. No antibodies at all. Not the IgM not the IgG. The Fred Meyer test was just completely wrong.

So I worried for four days, convinced myself that a little cold, that ironically I probably caught waiting for my results at Fred Meyer, was Covid, and canceled Christmas, all for NOTHING. 

But good news is we were able to salvage everything. Reordered Christmas dinner. Christopher is coming home, using the same risk reward ratio we used for Thanksgiving and still coming down on the risk is small enough that we are going to do it. And because we lost it all for a few days I am even more grateful to have our small family holiday than I was before. So the possibility of ending 2020 with gratitude instead of just more fuck youiness is good too. (Possibility because, no offense, 2020, but I just don't completely trust you)

I'm sorry to have worried everyone. 

I'm so grateful for all of the love and support you guys sent my way.

And as my soul daughter agrees, being negative gets a bad rap but it's absolutely wonderful!

Wear your masks.
Keep your distance.
Wash your hands. 
Don't get the antibody test from Fred Meyer.