I Remember You...

"Okay, I give. Been staring at the cursor blinking on a blank page for 20 minutes...maybe further inspiration will hit later today. I see a funeral and a very well put together older lady sitting in the back row. Hopefully she will tell me who she is and who is dead soon so I have something to write today."

That was my status update from five years ago today. As soon as I read it I thought, "Oh I remember you." And then I wondered how long she sat with me before I figured out who she was. Turns out I wrote the short story later that day. I just had to walk away from the computer for her to finish talking to me. But I do have a vague memory of her kind of hanging out at the edges of my mind for a few days before that.

That happens a lot. I can see it. Visualize it. Like there is another person sharing my head just waiting to talk to me. It makes me understand people who are schizophrenic. Who hear voices. I mean, I hear them as well, I've just figured out how to channel them.

Watching R.L. Stine's MasterClass right now and he is seriously amusing me. Sometimes because of how much I relate to him, he doesn't view writing in the same lofty way that some of the other authors I've read about do. And sometimes because we are really different in our approach.

One of the things he was talking about in a lesson is that he is a big outliner. He outlines the whole story before he ever writes. He maps out his twists and his cliffhangers and knows exactly how the whole thing goes before he ever starts writing. And while he was talking about this he talked about authors who say things like, "I wait for the character to tell me where the story goes." He does not believe this is a thing that actually happens. "Nonsense, you are in control." He thinks that this is something authors tell people interviewing them to sound more interesting.

I love that he said that. I laughed incredibly hard. He has reached the stage of his life where he is successful enough and old enough that he has zero fucks to give about anything else.

Now, I don't agree. At all. Because I am one of those people who waits for characters to tell me what happens. I view the people in my head as being pretty much real. They have a story they want me to tell. They tell me, I tell you, we are all surprised by how it turns out. Now, I get it, I do, I am making them up. They aren't real. But...

They sort of are.

To me.

And depending on how well I write their stories to you as well.

My voices have been fairly quiet lately. I think they are letting me grieve. But I'm hopeful they will start to chatter again soon. I know we have a lot of stories to share. I'm looking forward to seeing what they are.

Oh, and just incase you don't remember her as well as I do, here is the link to that story.

Promises Not Kept