Happy 5th of July!

The Fourth of July is my least favorite holiday.

I know that puts me on a few people's lists of undesirable but that is part of why I really don't like it.

I hate forced patriotism. I hate fake patriotism. I hate being told how to behave. I hate being told the right way to be any one thing. I hate rudeness. All of these things seem to get wrapped up in the 4th of July now.

It wasn't like that when I was a kid. I'm not sure if it's because I was a kid so I didn't notice or if it's because of 9/11. But I think it's because of 9/11. See when I was a kid I remember the church having these "big" 4th celebrations. There would be a potluck and fireworks in the courtyard. Now here is a weird thing that probably only one person who sometimes reads my blog will get, but using the courtyard at the church was kind of a cool special thing. The way the church was built there was the fellowship hall side and the main sanctuary side with a hallway of classrooms linking the two. The kitchen and some of the classrooms opened on to a courtyard that was between the two spaces. It was used for VBS and 4th of July. I think maybe volleyball later, but volleyball was big with the youth group after I left so I don't know for sure if it was played in the courtyard or the parking lot. Anyway...it was kind of cool to use a space that we normally didn't use.

Everyone would pool their fireworks and we'd have a bigger display that way. There was also this giant board for the spinners. Every year a group would nail a bunch of spinners on the board and link the fuses and try to get a massive display of those going at once. I'm not sure it ever worked right. But we all would wait for the grand finale of the spinner board to see. I feel like it was kind of a Clark's mom in Christmas Vacation moment...it didn't work, but we could all see it in our heads and it was lovely. Kind of like how I ended up feeling about religion as a whole. But anyway...

Here is why I think it's 9/11 that ruined the 4th for me. When we were stationed in Idaho Falls before 9/11 they had a 4th of July parade every year. It was a great small town parade. A lot of fun, but nothing major. Just kids and a band or two and the local organizations of whatevers marching. And then Melaleuca would do a big display over the Falls at night. It was the first time I'd ever seen fireworks set to music. You tuned your radio to a local station and it synced up. Mostly. Not like now where the fireworks practically dance, but it was pretty cool...

Okay, I just went and looked up the spelling of Melaleuca to make sure I got it right and found a website for the fireworks display, I guess it's a bigger deal than I realized,(Largest display West of the Mississippi!) or more likely since it was only a few years old when we were there it wasn't as big of a deal. BUT it lends itself to what I don't care for now. Instead of just being a 4th of July fireworks display it's called the FREEDOM CELEBRATION!

The 4th of July is patriotism on steroids. And I get it, it's our birthday, believe me, I am never someone to say don't make a big deal out of your birthday, but even for me it's a bit much.

The rudeness makes me tense. Fireworks in Oregon are limited. You can only get the ground ones and they can only shoot sparks so high. But in Washington (except for Vancouver city limits this year) you can get anything your heart desires. So of course people here drive across the river and get the giant fireworks there and bring them back. This is why everytime someone makes the gun argument about Chicago's strict laws I roll my eyes so hard I see double. If the state next to you doesn't have strict laws it doesn't matter. We have cars.

Anyway...the week before the 4th the fireworks start. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! At midnight on the 4th some asshole sets off a round of loud ones. And at midnight on the 5th another (or possibly the same) does it again. Like those strings of the loud poppers. What is the point of those? Just to make noise? They aren't pretty they just scare dogs and cats and probably the veterans that you will swear to me I'm disrespecting by wishing fireworks except for the professional displays were illegal all together.

Because I do.

When we lived in California I was shocked the first 4th that rolled around and there were no fireworks to be had. Nothing. You didn't set off your own. See July is the middle of fire season out West and California figured out that limiting the amount of fire out there was a good thing. So yeah, no fireworks for you. Except for the professional displays. And there were plenty of those. I really liked it after I got used to the idea. No middle of the night wake ups. No baying terrified dogs. No worries that the drunk guy next door was going to launch a bottle rocket on to my roof and burn down my house. It was lovely.

But that's not what we have here. We still have the fire danger, and the scared pets, and more PTSD afflicted vets than ever before, but people want their fireworks dammit and if you say otherwise you're just unAmerican!

And then there is the extra level of forced patriotism now. It's all about celebrating the military. And the flag. And wrapping ourselves in we are the greatest glory. And I don't dig that. It's too much. I don't need 7 flags to prove anything to you. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually a fan of America as a whole. I think we have a lot of areas for improvement, but I love my country and wanting it to be better isn't a negative to me. But the dude over there wearing the flag as a swimsuit while wiping his dirty mouth on a throwaway stars and stripes napkin will tell me that my lack of patriotism means I should move.

It's become a test of "real America."

Which I take back to 9/11. After the towers fell people got SUPER patriotic. I lived in a military town at the time and everybody had flags out. They had flag magnets for theirs cars, flags flying from their antennas, they started wearing flag pins. Not just politicians, though you better believe they did, but everybody. I didn't. I have a weird thing about the flag and the flag code. There are actually rules about how to treat the flag that most everybody ignores. It makes me a little cranky. Not just because they ignore them but because they then want to tell everyone else about respecting the flag.

We also started this weird fetishization around the military after 9/11. Where somehow everyone who ever served is a good guy and you can't question them. I'm sorry, I grew up in a military town, my husband served, my dad served, my father-in-law served, that's not how it works. There are a lot of really good people in the military. There are people who do amazing things; who do them under incredibly difficult circumstances. Who deserve not our lip service thanks but actual benefits and help when they return. And then there are assholes. Major league assholes. The military has a sexual assault problem. The military has people who serve because there are still judges giving youth the option of jail time or military service. The military has people who wouldn't have passed the intelligence level test or the psychological evaluations pre 9/11 but when the recruitment and retention levels got too low they were lowered so now these people are serving. Good people put on the uniform and do amazing things. Bad people put on the uniform and are still bad people.

But you aren't allowed to say that.

I mean you aren't supposed to. I still do. And I get called a lot of names. And told to move to Canada. Or Venezuela. Ironically by a lot of people who never served or had a family member who served.

But I'm not patriotic enough for them.

Because you have to wrap yourself in the flag, blow up shit, and pretend that the military is home to only superheroes to be good enough in this country.

It's the most American of all of our holidays. Not just because it's a celebration of our start, but because it's a reflection of our worst traits. But with sparkles so we can pretend it's not.

So I'm glad it's the 5th of July. I'm glad that the neighbors will use up their fireworks here soon and we won't have the sound of mortars going off all night. I'm glad the disposable flag plates and napkins will get put away for another year.

I love my country but my compatriots try my last nerve at times.