Day 3...

July 3...the longest month has only just begun...I don't know if I can make it...I think it qualifies as the dumbest thing I've ever done...

Okay, maybe not. I mean let's face it, I've done A LOT of dumb things.

When I quit smoking getting past the physical addiction was the easy part. I tapered off of smoking in just a few weeks. It was the habitual, ritual part that I had a hard time with. YEARS later I would be doing something and find myself reaching for cigarettes. Breaking a habit is extremely difficult.

This is extremely difficult.

There is a lot of positive reinforcement for this habit as well. It's how I interact with friends. It's how I get to see the world outside of my town. It's how I share experiences with people in other countries in real time. (sorry about the World Cup texts, Brent, I just have to share my excitement/disappointment and you are stuck with me) Basically I love Facebook.

BUT...

It's also how I spend way too much of my time. I moved it from my homescreen on my phone and the number of times I open Amazon (the app that is in it's old location now) shows how little I pay attention to opening Facebook. So far that's not been an issue. Open it, roll my eyes at myself, close it. I'm really hoping that habit is gone by Prime Day next week or that could be bad as well.

Another negative I talked about is the onslaught of bad news and anger at the news. I just need a break. But at the same time I really like seeing how other people feel about current events and it's really difficult not to share stories, podcasts, news tidbits, my personal so enlightened take on everything. Like yesterday when they found the boys in the cave and they are all alive? Oh holy cow...I got all teary eyed and just had to sit with it and not share it. Which is how we all lived our lives for ages. But not how we do it now.

Like I said before, it's a diet not a fast and that's good because I've "cheated" a few times. I cleared out notifications on Sunday and again yesterday. I just could "feel" them in there. The counter going up, it made me twitchy. I can only battle one piece of crazy at a time and so the "clear it out" crazy has to be dealt with while I'm battling the "I hate to feel addicted" crazy.  I think that should rectify itself with time anyway. When I post blogs I would guess I will scan my notifications and deal with anything that looks like it's actually an issue and not just a notice. And as I only post the cross posts from Instagram and some birthday wishes those should dwindle naturally anyway.

When I quit smoking I started chewing on straws to keep my hands and mouth busy. I sort of did the same thing with adding a cross-word puzzle game to my phone. My logic is that while I'm breaking the habit of Facebook I will play my game when I absentmindedly pick up my phone. But I also know that I will get bored with playing cross-word puzzles within a few days so when I stop playing those and put down the phone my hope is that the habit of picking it up for a reward will be gone. That's the working theory at least. We will see how it goes.

So Day 3. I'm still dieting. I've cheated on the diet. And the living room is still not painted.

I'll let you know if anything changes.

But don't bet on the living room.

Seriously.

It's been two years.