Happy Birthday!

*phone rings*

Mom C calling

"Hello?"

"Happy Birthday!"

I laugh, "What?"

"Happy birthday, Jesus! That's what it is."

"You are a little early, that's next week."

"Yes, but who knows what I will be doing next week."

Thus started the phone call with my mother. Now I have to say that I honestly don't know if she had intended to start it with happy birthday, Jesus, or had started out thinking Merry Christmas and by the time I answered got it switched up with happy birthday. I just don't know.

But considering she called one of her grandsons "ole what's his name" and went through almost every male member of our family before getting to Brent's today I'm leaning toward it being accidental.

She's 85. These things happen.

Though growing up my full name included all of my siblings (including the ones that died long before I was born) and usually at least two of the pets before getting to Denise I am not sure. Names have never been her strong suit.

I've written about conversations with my mother before, they are almost always entertaining, and almost always in a different way. She says whatever pops in to her head and has zero fucks left to give what you think about that. Now, to be perfectly fair, my mother has never had an over abundance of fucks to give, but now she has zero.

Today we covered my sister going to the post office to send ole what's his name a package, she started to say something else about him but the dog distracted her so I missed what ever that would have been. I can only imagine! She talked about Christmas and who was coming over. She talked about the Christmas luncheon she and my sister and aunt were going to today with the ladies she volunteers with. She talked about my uncle and the fact that he is still driving and he should not be but what are you going to do? I'll tell you what I do, I don't ride with him, he scares the mess out of me! But what are you going to do?

She talked about the casino and the fact that you can Christmas shop there. Who knew?

I let her know about a death in the extended family that she did not know about and she promptly went in to the "all of our days are numbered, the bible says that, so we are all going to die" speech. Which I said, she was right, we are all going to die. I skipped mentioning that the bible doesn't really matter in that equation, we are all going to die because that's how it works.

She asked about Christopher and Brent's mother (getting Christopher's name right on the first try) and she asked if he was able to come home for Christmas. She told me that they never hear from another member of the extended family and even when he is in town they don't spend any time with them, just with his wife's family so that's just sad. I asked, "Is he in town?" She said, "Oh no, they don't come often, but when they do it's always with the other side, which doesn't make sense because they have a lot more kids."  I didn't point out that by that logic Brent and I should only visit with his mother when we are in town because she only has him and Mom has a lot more kids. I didn't think that would go over well.

And then she needed to go because they had to leave for her luncheon, which she told me about again.

She's 85, she can tell me about things over and over again in one conversation if she wants to. She can even tell me that both my sister and I are sweet girls without me laughing right out loud at her. As she is fond of saying, she doesn't know how much longer she has, so I will take ever mixed up second of what I can get.

Happy birthday!