Too long for a status, not quite a blog....

Everyone confuses Memorial Day and Labor Day at least once in their lives. Probably more than that. Not what the holidays are for, but when they happen. Usually it's "Which one is the end of summer? That one." Or the opposite, "The one in the beginning of summer, I mean that one." Our bookend holidays. Start of summer, end of summer.

Growing up Memorial Day was a parade and a picnic. Labor Day, was just the picnic. Not a lot of union love in my house so that was about it.

Now as I see people post on their Facebook status updates I see that they are blending Veterans Day and Memorial Day. The actual meanings behind the days. Veterans Day is to honor those that served. The chance to say thank you. Memorial Day is to remember those that served that paid the ultimate price. Those that didn't come home. Decoration Day is what it was originally called when the country first started the day of remembrance after the Civil War. There were so many who lost sons in that war the whole nation needed to grieve. To remember. To honor. Decoration Day, plant the flag, bring the flowers, sit by the grave-site. Or a grave-site of an unknown soldier since so many died and were never identified in that war. But as I told a friend this morning, that's fine, extra gratitude is always good.

So here is my personal mixing of the days as an adult. Brent's parents were married Memorial Day weekend. They chose the holiday weekend so they would always have a long weekend to get away or celebrate. At the time Brent was in the Navy and had to request leave to attend the wedding. Which led to much hilarity. See, on a leave chit you have to put the reason for the request. "Attending my parent's wedding" might have been the most original reason ever. Though technically it was the second time they were married, and they were married when Brent was born so he might have been a son of a bitch, but he was no bastard. (My MIL had a bumper sticker "The Bitch is Back" she wouldn't be insulted by Brent being a son of a bitch, just in case you were wondering)

So Memorial Day was their wedding anniversary. Pictures of us all at the wedding, and I do mean us all, I was pregnant with C at the time and as I started to show from the moment of conception by 5 months I looked like I was about 8 months along! Good food, lovely ceremony. The one drink of champagne I had lets me know the booze was good. Brent was in the military but we hoped never to celebrate Memorial Day for its intended purpose, wedding anniversary celebrations were fine.

Brent's father died over Labor Day weekend. On leave from his own active duty service. After surviving Vietnam and Afghanistan, while we were starting to worry about a second tour in Afghanistan or a tour in Iraq he had a massive heart attack and died over the holiday. So the full military funeral was that week. Labor Day weekend.

So when I think about Memorial Day I think about weddings. When I think about Labor Day I think about taps. And boots with dog tags. And the Patriot Guard. And hundreds of men and women in uniform shaking our hands and pressing command coins into our palms. They blend.

But as I told my friend this morning, gratitude is good no matter the day on the calendar. For the families of the service members who gave all, I say thank you. For the men and women who chose to serve, I say thank you. For those that continue to serve, I say thank you. For my father who served, for my father-in-law who served, I say I miss you.