Wednesday, July 25, 2018

It May Be Complicated, But It's Not Funny....

When I was younger, like MUCH younger, middle school years and maybe part of high school there was this time period where people were telling Dead Baby jokes. I want to say almost every generation must go through the phase. They are gross and crude and a lot people thought they were hilarious.

I was not one of those people. Now, I will fully admit that my world view was probably different than a few other kids my age. The only pictures I have ever seen of two of my sisters were of their little bassinet sized caskets. Dead babies weren't joking matters in my family. They were my sisters. (Also, as an aside, this is why C never had a bassinet when he was a baby, to me it looked like a decorated casket for the funeral) So yeah, when kids would start the Dead Baby joke session I would walk away. Not funny. Not even a little bit.

I do not believe any of those kids if confronted with an actual dead baby would ever think it was funny either. And I'm pretty sure they don't still make Dead Baby jokes. Because they grew up.

Now this brings us to James Gunn. I don't know why he ever thought that pedophilia jokes were funny. They aren't. I think we need to start from there and work our way out. It seems like the right place to begin for me. Mostly because I've seen this reaction that Twitter was a different space WAY back then and people did things just for the shock value and the reaction. He was edgy, man, and you just don't get it. Well, you're right, I don't. And I don't consider myself to be a really uptight, buttoned up, squaresville, soccer mom.

I get it, on one hand. I write a lot of things that are dark. That are disturbing. That I would NEVER do in real life. People get killed off in my stories for not keeping a clean enough house. That's not a thing Brent really has to worry about. I'm not going to strangle him in his sleep for leaving a dish in the sink. I've written about things I don't believe in. I've written about worlds that don't exist except in my head. I've written things that I think are HILARIOUS and had nobody laugh. So I get it. Creative stuff is different. We make up shit. We try different things. We search for our voice.

But pedophilia should never be that voice.

So that's where I don't get it.

I also have seen that he's been called out for other things he's written that were troubling and he apologized. He owned up to them not being good things. To not being who he is now. Because that is a thing that happens, we do get to grow and change. No more Dead Baby jokes. I grew up Evangelical, remember? I don't believe a large chunk of things I used to believe. It happens. And sometimes are we grow and change we stop doing things that we would find totally offensive and inappropriate now.

Like using the r-word. We grew up with it when I was a kid. It was pretty standard to mean that we didn't like something. That's r... Now I don't use it. Or I try really hard to make sure I don't use it. Sometimes when I'm not paying attention it still slips out. Because I used it growing up. But now I understand how hurtful it is to other people so I make an effort not to use it. But you could probably find where I've written it in the past and all I could do would be apologize.

So where I get it is that he's said, I apologize. I would never do this now. It was a mistake and I'm embarrassed by it.

But I'm not sure what happens next. I understand Disney firing him. Pedophilia isn't funny. It wasn't funny 10 years ago. It just wasn't. But what I don't understand is why they didn't already deal with this? I mean they were out there in his public record right? If you are a MEGA corporation handling a MEGA franchise, don't you examine the people you are hiring? And because he's already apologized in the past for other things he's done don't you think you could reference that when called out now? "Yeah, he had a troubling past but we looked at it all at the time, we discussed it with him, he's not the same person....yadda yadda yadda..." But instead they fired him quickly and created a different issue.

People on the Right are trying to tie it Roseanne and saying it's the same thing. It's not. I'll tell you why. Roseanne didn't get fired because of something she said 10 years ago. She got fired over things she said right then. Not just the racist tweet against Valerie Jarrett, but over calling George Soros a Nazi. And it was a case of her constantly doing things like that. It was addressed when the show came back on the air, "What are you going to do when she says something like...." because that's what she does. So shame on them for hiring her in the first place. She isn't a case of someone who grew up and changed. She was who she was and shame on them for thinking she was anything else.

Redemption and forgiveness are only for those who seek them, right?

So what do we do with people who have troubling pasts, troubling as in they've said things, not troubling as in they've acted on those things, because fuck those guys...

What do we do with people who grow up and stop telling Dead Baby jokes?
Who realize what they should have known all along, pedophilia is never funny?
Who apologize? Who haven't done those things in a decade? Do we move on? Should we?

Pedophilia isn't funny. It never has been.

But free speech is complicated.

And I don't know the answer. Right now I'm stuck at pedophilia has never been funny. Once I move past that to forgiveness is a gift I will probably be able to move on.

But I understand why Disney did what it did, I just don't understand why they didn't do their research in the first place. And I don't think Roseanne gets a free pass because other people are already at the forgiveness stage with James Gunn.

I also get that there is a whole separate issue of who is organizing these "discoveries" about people who speak out against the Right. That is an issue. And Cernovich is a piece of shit. Who is also a rape apologist and I believe has been accused of the actual act, not just a joke about it, in the past. So fuck that guy. But the bottom line is that it will work. Even if his motives aren't pure. He doesn't care about the jokes, he doesn't care about actual kids, he knows that there are those of us who do. And who are troubled by things like this. So yeah, it gets even more complicated.

We live in complicated times. But let's just all agree that pedophilia is never funny and work out from there, okay?

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