Thursday, May 31, 2018

It's Your Own Fault...

I'm an introvert. But I'm an odd introvert. I have zero issues with being shy. Like none. I am not one bit shy. I don't embarrass easily. I don't mind people looking at me. Or even laughing at me. I dance in public spaces. I laugh loudly at jokes. I sit up front at seminars and in classrooms. I am one of those annoying people who will butt into a conversation in public if I have what I think is helpful information.

That is what the title of this blog is about. Monday when Brent and I came home from Las Vegas we stopped at Blue Star in the airport for a donut (it was a holiday, sugar is totally allowed on holidays). While we were sitting there I overheard a woman talking to one of the workers about the lack of apple fritters and if there would be some soon. They had pear lavender fritters that day. I'm sure they were lovely for people who aren't allergic to lavender but I had felt her disappointment because I had also hoped for an apple fritter. They make the best apple fritters. BUT...I also knew something I thought would be helpful information. So I butted in. I always apologize for eavesdropping, not because I'm actually sorry I heard people talking, I mean you're in public talking assume people are listening...but because it's polite and I cannot abide by rudeness. ANYWAY...I had just read an article about Blue Star buying a new space where they could have a bigger bakery and one of the things they were going to do was always have apple fritters along with a specialty flavor. So I shared this bit of information then went back to my table.

Brent was like, "this is why people talk to you. It's your own fault." And well, yeah, sometimes. BUT not always. I mean people will come up to me and download their entire life story and I'm just sitting there. Though he points out I'm not just sitting there. I have a very open aspect about my personality. And I am rarely rude to people when they start talking to me. I've written about that before. I have no idea what their day has been like, maybe I am the only person they will talk to all day. Maybe they are dying for some human interaction. It won't hurt me to give them 15 minutes of my attention and it just might make a huge difference for them. So I'm not rude.

This was also following the cab ride we had in Vegas where the driver told us all about her life and her grandkids and how she does whatever the fuck she wants with them and gets around the rules her daughter sets by following the letter of the law but not the spirit, like she doesn't feed them cotton candy but will give them donuts...and on and on and on...It was quite the ride. But I made friendly noises at her while she talked. Because I didn't want to be rude to the person driving us someplace, that could end up a nasty ride, and also because it costs me nothing. Brent was like, short answers, no eye contact, headphones or phone. Which never works for me anyway. Seriously. I can get on a plane put on headphones and open my Kindle and the person next to me will still want to engage in a conversation.

I have friendly face syndrome. I've talked about this, I call it FFS. Because it makes me laugh. FFS people stop talking to me!

But I'm still an introvert. Even as social as I appear and as much as it doesn't bug me.

I'm just an odd introvert.

Crowds drain me. Like I can physically feel the difference if I've been in a crowd all day. I am exhausted by the end. Big groups where I have to be social toward everyone make me want to curl up in a ball for a week to recoup. It's like all of my energy is being syphoned off by these people. I have friends who the bigger the crowd the better, the more people to interact with the greater the energy. And I'm like, yeah, no. Can we just go home now?

But get me with one or two or three people and I will hold court. We can talk about everything and I will be engaging and interested and focused on you and thrilled to be around you....right up until I'm done and then I'm like, Gotta go! Thanks!

So yeah, I'm an odd introvert. I have FFS. I will chat with you even if I don't know you because I'm hopeful that what I'm telling you is helpful to you or that you will feel better because you talked to someone. Maybe I'm just an introvert with an overly inflated sense of do gooderism? My feelings of needing to help are greater than my feeling of leave me alone, okay? Maybe.

I want to help.
I want to make a positive impact.
I want to share knowledge that I have that might make a difference in your life.
I do not want to be rude.
I also just want to read while I'm on the plane so please don't think that just because Brent is napping or I'm travelling alone that I want to chat with you, mmmkay?

And yes, I know, it's usually my own fault.

No comments:

Post a Comment