Multipurpose blog today.
First off, everything's fine.
I made a post a few weeks ago asking if getting a text with a similar opening line made things worse or better. It was right after I found out about the gas leak at the townhouse. Brent was traveling and I needed to let him know what was going on. I felt like "Gas leak" was a bad way to start a message so I made sure to let him know that everyone was okay first. Then after I sent it I thought, hmm, maybe that's actually a worse start to a message.
But anyway, everything's fine.
This is about the bleeding that I had back in February. I had been going to ignore it, really thought it was the last hurrah meaning I wasn't technically in menopause even though it had been a year and 3 weeks since my last period. But when I posted about being bummed about it I was contacted by enough people who said, "Hey! You actually need to see a doctor about this!" that I contacted my doctor and she said, "Yep they were right. But you need a specialist." And so I waited for an appointment with a specialist.
And waited.
And then two days before that appointment they called and let me know the doctor had a family emergency and had to cancel. I said, Okay. Rescheduled for a month later (because why would it be sooner). Then got a call saying just kidding, that time doesn't work we need to move you to a different one. I said, Okay fine. Then the week of that appointment I got a call telling me that they needed to reschedule again because she was going to be in surgery that day so they needed to move all of her appointments. I said, Move me to a different doctor. I don't care which one but move me to a different doctor and put a note on my appointment that I've been moved three times and I will not be moved again. So they scheduled me with a different doctor for a month out.
Then they called back in about an hour and said just kidding, we don't have to move your appointment after all so do you want to still come in on Thursday? Fine.
So for a few spots of blood in February I finally got in to see a doctor in May. And almost not until June. Anyone who tells you how horrible it is for people in countries with socialized medicine and how they have to wait so long to see a doctor you just tune them out. We do the same thing here. Just with the added bonus of paying through the nose for it.
But anyway...everything's fine. Multiple tests and an ultrasound yesterday to double check. Everything came back negative which is positive in this case. Which is great. Except for the fact that the few drops of blood that I had in February that triggered the appointment is now light bleeding for almost two weeks since the appointment. Which my specialist doctor has told me is nothing to worry about. So annoying. Which brings me to the second part of this post.
We don't take women's health seriously.
We just don't. The whole reason I've been so vocal about perimenopause and menopause is because we don't talk to women about what to expect during these years. We talk about puberty (though only briefly really, we are left with a LOT of gaps in knowledge), we have multiple books about conception and pregnancy, but we just vaguely wave our hands at the other end of our hormonal journey, make a few jokes about how hot it is, and leave it at that.
What I have is uterine atrophy. It's a perfectly normal thing that happens. As the hormones fade and the uterine wall stops getting rebuilt and shed every month the tissue starts to get thin and really delicate. Which means it can bleed easily. Any number of things can trigger it, sex, exercise, lifting something heavy, getting hit in the stomach, a particularly strong coughing fit...seriously, anything. It's normal, it's common.
But bleeding is also a sign of something being seriously wrong. Cancer being the biggest worry.
And here I was not knowing either piece. Not knowing that it was really commonplace, and that I can expect to have some breakthrough bleeding here and there. Not knowing that I needed to be careful if I did because it was a sign of cancer.
And I've been reading tons and tons of stuff about what my body is going through so I should know stuff like this. For me and for everyone I've been sharing it with because we don't know enough to keep ourselves healthy. But I still didn't know.
And then let's talk for a moment about the fact that this type of bleeding is really common but they don't know if it's the fine whatever type or the oh no this is bad type without some pretty intense tests. If the majority of women who don't do hormone replacement treatments can expect to have at least one bout of breakthrough bleeding shouldn't we have a way to discover what is causing it that isn't so painful?
And maybe there isn't. But I have to think that there probably is. And partly because of the reaction of my overseas friends when I mentioned the testing I had done.
Part of it was a standard pap smear manual exam. With the extra added benefit of a biopsy of uterine tissue. Which, look, I totally get, if cancer is a concern then you have to biopsy. I've had multiple biopsies of skin lesions in my life. But with all of those they numbed the area before taking the sample. Just a little pain blocker before cutting open my neck, my arm, my torso. All of those got a localized shot, then the biopsy. But for the uterine biopsy?
Nothing.
And I guess that's not normal in other places. One of my friends told me where she lives it's considered cruel medical practice to do so. Having had two samples taken I would agree.
First my cervix was dilated, which is not comfortable by any means. But manageable. Just a little crampy. But then the actual samples from inside my uterus were cut out. Which is just as painful as it sounds. My cervix was dilated, then my uterus was scraped and cut. Oh holy shit.
I have a really high pain tolerance. I've had dental work without Novocain high pain tolerance. I've had doctors tell me about other issues, "You should really be in pain right now, I don't understand why you aren't." To which I would tell them, "I am. Or I wouldn't be here." I just have a high tolerance. I'm good at disassociating. It's not the healthiest of learned tricks that kids who are abused have in their arsenals but it can be really handy at times.
Not this time, I was in tears. Tears. My breathing was raspy and it took everything I had not to bolt from the table. So I cannot imagine what it must be like for other people.
No numbing. Just dilated, cut and move on.
Would that be a thing in men's health? I just cannot imagine it being a normal procedure if it were a man they were dealing with. But women's health care is often neglected in research and our pain is often discounted.
I've learned things about my hormones in the past year because of Katie's research that I feel like I should have been told about before puberty. Like grapefruit interferes with estrogen. I knew it interfered with certain medications, but with estrogen itself. There is also an increased risk of breast cancer in postmenopausal women who eat grapefruit daily. Like if you are one of those half a grapefruit and cup of coffee for breakfast women, you could be putting yourself at risk. But have you ever heard that (before today)? I hadn't until I started looking up information about grapefruit because of what Katie had been told about eating it while taking her pills.
There are other things that I discovered when I had to take the testosterone blocker (which funny enough, they didn't tell me that's what it was, I found out that's what it was when Katie started taking it) and my estrogen reset and then ran wild for that stretch when they finally figured out my weird adult onset cystic acne was due to a hormonal imbalance. Which, again, my god, cystic acne is more common in men and in women with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Because their hormones get out of balance and too much testosterone causes cystic acne. It should have been a pretty quick diagnosis. A quick hormone panel, a screening for POS, and then cleared up. But no, telling a woman she has excessive testosterone is too scary I guess? So it took awhile and then, like I said, I didn't even realize that's what I was on. I just knew my estrogen went crazy because my boobs got painful, hard as rocks and even bigger than normal and I started buying Lady Gaga music...
But anyway...
Everything is fine.
All of the tests came back negative.
The ultrasound was invasive and uncomfortable but it was also fine. I have a fibroid but it's a normal looking fibroid and not likely to cause any issues. And having a fibroid or two is totally normal. There is a number and a size where it's an issue, but who the hell really knows what that level is and if we should be screening for them. Because you know, women, am I right? Who knows what is and isn't actually an issue?
We do not take women's health care seriously.
We don't give women all of the information they need to understand their own bodies.
We don't talk about all of the stages and things that those stages will bring.
We don't give women the same sort of control over their health as we do men.
We make laws that dictate what women can and cannot do with their own bodies.
These things are all tied together.
I have a really high pain tolerance.
But I'm so sick of this bullshit.
