Mood Enhancer...

She stared at the bottles of pills all lined up neatly in a tidy row. She reached for one and then hesitated. Did she really want to do this? Random drug testing had been increased at work. It seemed as though every day at least 3 or 4 people were pulled out to give a sample.

Mornings were her favorite and least favorite time of the day. She was clear headed. Her life felt like it used to. Before the pills took over. Before her every mood was dictated by the tablet in her mouth.

She could remember telling jokes with her husband. Laughing until her face hurt. Not because she was high and couldn't help it but because what he had just said was so funny she had laughed. Really laughed.

She remembered laying next to him in bed. Relaxed. Her head on his chest. Listening to the steady thump of his heart beat. Feeling the rise and fall of his breathing. Contentment. That's what that feeling was. Contentment. She didn't think there was a pill that could make her feel like that.

She remembered what it used to be like. She craved those days. When good days were good days because good things happened. Because she really honestly felt good. And when there were bad days too. Days where things didn't go right and she felt shitty about them. Angry. Mad. Sad. She craved all of them. Anything was better than the flat.

The flat was how she spent most days. Nothing great. Nothing bad. Mehnday. Every day was Mehnday. She remembered when that would have made her laugh. Now it was closer to making her want to cry. But only for a few more minutes.

She looked at the row of bottles. Each labeled for their day and use. Work pills. Sleeping pills. Weekend pills. Vacation pills. Life of the Party pills. She had something for everything. But they were mostly the same. Vacation felt as flat as work. Sleep was just a dark void, no dreams to rescue her. The weekend just a mark of time held over from before. The Life of the Party pills forced gaiety, but it was manic more than fun, required happiness for situations where she was expected to smile. But in the mornings she remembered emotions without bottles. It was the best and worst time of the day.

She sometimes thought she should be doing something with those memories. Writing them down maybe. Sharing them. Making sure they weren't forgotten. But the she remembered. She remembered the day her husband disappeared. He was there, then he was gone. Her son was alive. He was someplace else. But he was alive, she knew that. Her husband was not, she was made aware of that also. And so she did not write down her memories. She did not send them out in to the world to remind others. She just waited for them to fade in to the flat. She was a coward. She knew that. But she had already paid too large of a price. Had paid with something that shouldn't have been hers to use.

She poured a glass of water. Ready to start her Mehnday. To go to work.

The water. They had started out drugging the water. But nobody believed the crackpots and the crazies who told them. Why would they? Those who drugged them physically had been drugging them mentally for years. Seeding conversations with those that were anti-fluoride, or anti-vaxxers. Spouting ridiculous claims like polio could be prevented with vitamin C. Or fluoride made you impotent. We learned to ignore them. To shut down any conversation they were in. Not knowing they had been plants all along and that had been their purpose. To teach us to shut them down. So when the drugs did start, when the complacency medications began to course through the veins of their children and people noticed they were there and began asking questions then the others would begin attaching their anti-vaxxer message to the actual fear of what was happening. Drowning out the signal with their noise.

And so we didn't listen. We didn't pay attention.

And then the planes came. And they flew over head seeding the clouds. And we remembered the ridiculous and false claims of the chemtrail people and paid no attention. The Office of Misinformation had done their job and now we all paid the price. The Illuminati was ridiculous so we paid no attention to the World Powers. Why would we? We were too smart, had seen too many things easily debunked. No conspiracy theories for us.

The water was bad. The rain was bad. The air we breathed was bad. All filled with chemicals. But we didn't know. We thought something was wrong with us. We went to the doctor, "I just don't feel like myself lately." We were given a pill to make it better. And it did. And we were happy. But then we couldn't make it better by ourselves. We lost the ability. We had to have the pills. And we paid no attention to the crackpots and the crazies who said it was THEIR plan all along!

She shook her head. We all believed. Until some of us didn't. Some of us tried to make sense of what was happening. To resist the pills and the flat. But they got to us anyway. They found ways to make you understand your role in this new world order. And if you didn't understand you lost. Your home. Your job. Your family. Your life. She had lost, but not everything, so she learned.

Mornings were the best and the worst part of the day.

She swallowed her work pill. She could not get caught popping negative in a random drug test. Her son was still alive.

HR...

"You going to eat that or just keep poking it with your fork?"

"Hmmm? Oh yeah, sorry, I'm a bit distracted. I got a message that HR wants to see me this afternoon."

"HR? What for?"

"I don't know. They didn't say, I just got the message with the time. But it's never good right? I mean has anyone ever had a good 'summoned to human resources' story?"

"You could be the first?"

"Maybe."

She kept pushing her salad around with her fork. She knew she should eat, but her stomach was in knots. What in the world could they want to see her for? She had gone over every interaction she could think of, subordinates, superiors, peers. She couldn't think of a single thing that had been done wrong. But still, she was going to face HR this afternoon.

It was strange; she had just had a conversation with her husband about going to HR with a complaint. Not that she had one, but that sometimes people forgot that HR didn't work for them, it worked for The Company. The job of HR was to protect The Company. It was always best to remember that when debating going to HR with a problem. Would that fix your problem or make you the problem?

"Okay, I give up, I'm not going to eat. Do you want any of this?"

"Nah, thanks, I had plenty."

She put the lid back on her tupperware and slid the dish back into the mini-fridge. It wouldn't be as fresh tomorrow but it would still be edible. Assuming she was still going to be here tomorrow to eat it. She shook her head, best not to imagine the worst. She really could be the first to go to HR for a good reason. She laughed to herself. Probably not.

She went back to her desk to try and get a few things done before her meeting. She was having a really hard time concentrating. Was everyone staring at her? Were they whispering about her? Did they know she had been called to HR? Worse yet, had they reported her for something? Was she going because she had done something to one of them? Or worse yet, hadn't done something but was reported anyway. A false claim was so hard to prove wrong. Was she going to be suspended? The first time she knew someone had been suspended she had thought it would be temporary, but nobody ever came back from suspension. They should just say terminated. Using softer words didn't make it better.

The minutes seemed to drag along until they suddenly sped up and she was standing in the inner office of HR. The receptionist looking over the glass partition that kept her away from any disgruntled HR visitors, "Have a seat. They are finishing up with another employee. You're next."

"Excuse me, do you know if this is a video review or..." she swallowed, it shouldn't matter. It was just a feeling a few of them had, if your review was done remotely by video screen it was a minor infraction, if it was a face to face, well you were done.

"Just have a seat, they will call you in when they are ready."

She shouldn't have asked. Now that would go in her file, she was sure of it. Don't show nerves. Keep calm. You've done nothing wrong. You have been a model employee. You...

"You can go in now."

Had she missed the other employee coming out? Or was there a back door so they didn't see each other. Some psychiatrist's offices had that. One entry and one exit so people didn't cross paths in the waiting room. A way to keep things confidential.

"You can go in now."

"Oh, yes, sorry." She stood on legs so wobbly she wasn't sure they would work to carry her in to the room. She opened the door and saw that yes, it was a face to face meeting. In fact the head of HR was sitting behind the table a file opened on the desk. Her file she assumed.

"Come in, have a seat."

She sat stiffly. Barely touching the chair she was so ridged.

"Do you know why we've called you in here today?"

"No, I don't. I really don't."

"Good."

She looked puzzled.

"It's good because that means we have nobody talking when they shouldn't be. A Company is only as good as the secrets it keeps, don't you agree?"

She still looked puzzled.

"I'm sure that's the expression. Anyway, we've been reviewing your file. You've been nothing short of perfect in your time with us. Never an infraction. No late days. No unexcused sick days. No personal phone calls. No office drama. Nothing. You've been exemplary."

She smiled then, it was going to be a good meeting. "Thank you. I was raised to..."

The head of HR cut her off, "We need more like you. We have too many others who are not as efficient. Who are late, or lazy, or wasteful.You are none of those things." A button was pressed and a video screen began showing her at lunch putting her food back in the fridge. "Many would have thrown that away instead of saving it for later."

She was shocked. They filmed them at lunch? Thank goodness she hadn't said anything negative.

"Do you understand how valuable of an employee we find you to be? You should be honored."

She was puzzled again, she had said thank you before hadn't she? "Thank you. I appreciate that you  noticed."

"Yes. We noticed. And we've decided that you should be more for us."

Oh my goodness, was she getting a promotion? A raise? Could she and her husband finally afford to have a child? That was their dream. To have children. But they were so expensive. And the paperwork involved was daunting. A promotion would mean so much.

"We've sent a note to your husband informing him of the change."

"Excuse me? I'm sorry. I must have missed something?" She couldn't believe her daydreaming had kept her from hearing.

"We've sent a note to you husband. We would not want him to be worried about where you are. It wouldn't be prudent for him to make a scene. We've found that sometimes the mated pairs make scenes."

"I'm still not understanding what you are saying."

"You are going to be more for us."

Okay, so she had heard all that was said, she just didn't understand.

"We need more like you. So you will be the base of our new HR department. Finding ones like you has been slow and often not fruitful. Making more of you will be easier for all involved."

What was being said finally filtered through. She stared into the alien black eyes of the head of Human Resources, "You are going to make a clone of me?"

"Oh no, not a clone. A whole division. We are going to extract your DNA and synthesize a whole new human division."

"Extract my DNA?"

"Yes, you will be moving to the lab and staying there. The process shouldn't take too long, or not too long for our kind. You, of course, will be kept in suspension and will be unaware of the time. We aren't animals after all."

She started to shake. They were taking her to the lab. She was going to be suspended. Termination would have been better.

There never was a good meeting with Human Resources...

Don't Make Promises...

When I worked in advertising one of my guiding work principles was to always under promise and over deliver. It's a phrase a lot of people in the service industry use and it can be a little trite when you hear it all of the time but I firmly believe in it. It used to make one of my clients crazy when I wouldn't promise to some deadline or the other. I would say, "I will try my best." or "I can get it to you on Tuesday for sure, I am not sure about Monday." He would respond, "You are just trying to look good by being faster! You are under promising!" And he was half right. I was under promising. If I wasn't sure I could do it in a tight timeline I told people that. Now I also worked my ass off to get it done quickly and usually got it to them early, but not always. So I wouldn't promise to do it earlier than I was positive I could get it done.

Under promise and over deliver.

Make sure you are only committing to things you know you can do, but then work to do more.

It's stuck with me even in my life now. I can see it in my constant goal setting. It makes me crazy when I set a goal and cannot reach it. That's why you will often see me set one goal and then have a stretch goal as well. I am pretty sure I can hit the first mark, but will strive for the second. Even to myself I try not to over promise.

Because here is the thing, you do the over promise thing one to many times and people stop believing in you. Even if it's you yourself that you need to believe in. I know, Brent knows, my friends know, that if I say I will do something I will do my damnedest to get it done. And if for some reason I don't, I will work extra hard to make it up to you with something else. I don't give my word a lot. I'm not a big false promiser. I'm an I'll try, I'll work on it, I'll see, much more often than I will. But once I say I will, I really mean I will.

I write lists. I take notes in my phone. I send myself meeting reminders. All because I don't want to give my word and then fall short. And I know that I might because I'm also pretty multi-focused at times. (sounds better than flighty) I don't want something important to slip my mind. And sometimes it does. So if I tell you I will do something for you, the next thing you will often see if me whipping out my phone to put it on my calendar. "Oh it's not that big of a deal!" Yes, yes it is. I just told you I would so I will and this way I really will.

It makes me crazy when people promise things and don't follow through. Or constantly say one thing and then do a completely different thing. Your word is the only thing you have that is truly yours and if you break it over and over then I know that you aren't to be trusted. You are broken. And I won't depend on you to be anything other than broken. I would much rather hear from you that you will try to do something (Yoda was wrong, sorry, but he was) and then fail rather than that you will for sure do something and then have you not follow through. Don't promise me something you cannot deliver.

Looking at Trump tweet insults this morning after calling for unity last week just reinforces this belief. He's a broken man, running a broken system, that we are all supposed to trust in to keep their word. It's why I wouldn't last in politics. I would want to deliver results and would meet up with the people I was supposed to work with to get them done only to discover that nobody keeps their word...it's not a good way to run a local co-op let alone a country. When did we as a country give up on expecting our elected officials to keep their word? When did we decide that politicians just lie so there is no reason to expect better of them. When did we decide that their word was not only not their bond but worse than used scotch tape but that was okay with us and we would vote for them again?

I don't get it. It's just not my way. It's ridiculous.  It's broken.

We need to figure this out. We need to start voting for other people if the people who are supposed to represent us aren't. We need to demand that when they speak they speak the truth. And if they don't deliver they need to have a really good reason why not.

We deserve some under promising and over delivering. 

Chilly...

Her hands were so cold. She scooted closer to the fire and held them out over the flames. She kept them there for as long as she could stand it. As soon as she pulled them back to her body the heat fled from them and they were cold again. She couldn't chase the chill away. She had tried hot showers, hot baths, hot tea, hot soup, fireplaces, fire pits, blankets, sweaters, gloves, mittens. Nothing was working. She would feel the warmth for a moment and then shiver again.

The cold had set in to her bones. That's what her mother would say. "I've caught a chill. The cold and damp has just set in to my bones." And it had. The cold has set in to her bones.

She was trying to remember when it happened. She had been cold for so long now it was hard to pinpoint the moment. She remembered being warm as a child. Running around in shorts and a t-shirt. A beaded line of sweat on her forehead. Smelly tennis shoes on her sweaty feet. Was that actually the last time she had been warm or the first time she had felt the chill? When she had run home at the end of the day, filled with joy over the things she had seen and done only to be greeted by her mother with, "Young lady! You are filthy! Go take a bath, you stink!"

She thought again. Surely she had been uncomfortably warm in high school. She could remember the heat in her cheeks when David Tavish smiled at her. The small trickle of sweat down her back when he asked her to dance at the Winter Mixer. She had been warm then for a moment. Until she heard him tell his friends that he was dancing with her because he had heard she was easy and would put out for anyone who was nice to her. They had all laughed and then leered at her in the hallway the next day at school. She had asked Emily Johnson why he would say such a thing and Emily smirked at her, "Like you don't know." She didn't though. She had never even dated a boy let alone put out. But Emily didn't believe her. She just looked at her like she was dirty and smelled bad.

She started wearing giant sweatshirts then. Folding herself inside of them. Trying to find a cozy place to hide and stay warm.

She discovered a talent for acting. She had known for awhile she could pretend. Pretend to be happy. Pretend to not notice people staring at her. Acting like she was dirty and smelled bad. But then she learned she could act as well. Take her pretend on stage and become someone else. She was warm then. Under the bright lights. They were so hot her fellow actors would complain sometimes. But she didn't. She liked the warmth. It made her feel...made her feel. Made her feel. She was warm then. For a moment. Then the casting director made it known what was required for the next role. The next big part. The next step. When she asked her friends about it, what to do, they asked her if she wanted to be an actor or not. Play the game or don't. But don't bitch to us about your opportunities. Don't act like your shit doesn't stink. She was so cold.

Had she been warm since then? Every moment where she felt warmth it was taken away. Every cozy sweatshirt ripped from her body. Every fire snuffed out when she stayed too long. Would she be warm again? Could she be warm again?

Why didn't you say anything?
Why did you put up with it?
Why didn't you fix it?
How dare you leave the mess for the next person.
How dare you complain now when you played the game before.
How dare you feel that you deserve to be warm when so many are cold.

She was so cold. It had set in to her bones. She reached her hands out toward the fire again. Maybe this time the heat would last. Maybe this time she would finally get warm. Maybe...

Cage Match...

She woke up in the center of a cage. She looked around as much as she could without moving. Trying to figure out how she got there.

"I know you're awake. I've been waiting."

She turned her head toward the voice, "Kyle? What the hell, dude?"

He wrote something down in his notebook.

"Kyle? Hello, what are you doing?"

"I'm taking notes. While I have you I want to make sure I find out as much as I can."

"Don't you think you could have just asked me questions after class? Or maybe in the cafeteria? This seems a little drastic."

"You're very calm. That's interesting."

"You aren't planning on hurting me are you? It seems like if you were planning on hurting me you would have already started. And aside from being locked in a cage I seem to be okay."

"It's still interesting. Most people would be slamming themselves against the bars in anger or reaching out through them begging me to let them go. Yet you haven't moved from the middle there. As far away from the iron as you can get."

If she hadn't already been quietly freaking out, that would have done it. But she was a master at maintaining a calm exterior during a private freak out.

"Again, I don't think you are going to hurt me. You've never struck me as that type. So I'm calmly waiting for you to tell me what the hell is going on."

"You're right. I don't plan on hurting you. I can't say what will happen to you after I sell you. But I won't hurt you at all."

"Sell me? What the fuck? You in to human trafficking, Kyle?"

"Human trafficking? No, not human trafficking."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "What are you insinuating there, Kyle? Are women not humans?"

He shook his head, "Look, you and I both know you aren't human. It took me awhile to figure you out but I eventually did. You really needed to be more careful with your tells. First off some contacts probably would have helped. Nobody has eyes that color. Nobody human at least."

Her eyes were dark brown. So dark that they looked black. And they had flecks of gold in them like the spokes of a wheel. She really considered them her best feature and would have never wanted to hide them with contacts. "Because you're from Wisconsin or Minnesota right? Where most people have light colored eyes? I'm not. My whole family has brown eyes. Pretty much everyone I grew up with has brown eyes. You come home with me and people will think you are wearing fake contacts."

"They aren't brown. They are black. And the gold. Don't forget the gold."

"Go look at your own eyes, Kyle. They are blue with a darker blue ring. Eyes are like that. Colors vary."

He shook his head, "And your ambrosia."

"Ambrosia?"

"Or wait, nectar. I think it's probably more nectar. Whatever it is in your vial you carry. You add it to your drinks. I've seen you. It's so you can handle human food. I've read the stories."

"My meds? I'm diabetic, Kyle. I have specialty meds I put in my drinks to help me process sugar. I also have insulin shots when that isn't enough. In fact, you might want to let me check my blood sugar here soon or you won't have anyone to traffic."

"They aren't meds. No diabetic ever has a silver vial of mystery medication they add to their drinks."

"Just because you haven't seen it before doesn't mean it isn't so. That medication keeps me alive."

"Oh, I believe that. That's why I switched out your drink after you treated it yesterday. To see what would happen."

She nodded then. Well that explained it. "So you fucked with my medication as an experiment? And when I passed out from the spike and drop in my blood sugar you kidnapped me and put me in here?"

"Pretty much. Except we both know it wasn't a blood sugar thing. And as soon as I put a few drops of your 'medicine' on your tongue you started to wake back up. You ate human food and it didn't agree with your fae system."

"My fae system?"

"Yes. Fae system. See? I told you that I figured it out. You are a faerie."

"Okay, sure, Kyle. I'm a faerie. Where are my wings?"

"Oh don't do that. Just admit that I have you figured out. You are a faerie. Or a sprite maybe. I don't think sprite because of the size thing, I've never read about a sprite being able to pass as human even with glamour. But a faerie? Easily done."

She nodded, "Okay, Kyle, I'm a faerie. Who drinks nectar. But not a sprite because that would be ridiculous. Anything else you want to tell me about myself? Like what would a faerie be doing in college studying business management? Lot of banks in faerieland?"

"I think you are in school to study humans. I'm not sure why. Probably the same reason why I will get a good price for you when I sell. Everything is curious about what it isn't."

"So my dark eyes and my meds are what tipped you off to all this? Pretty amazing filling in of the blanks there."

"Not just those things. Your hands too."

She looked down at her hands. "What about my hands?"

"You have very graceful hands. Your fingers are very long and thin. More so than most. And the nails on your little fingers are very sharp. Just those. You don't file the others like that. I think in your natural form they must be like a spur on a rooster or something. And you can make yourself look human enough, but you can't get rid of everything."

"Because I file those two nails to a point that makes me faerie? It's not that I use them in my origami? To make sharper creases in my folds? I mean, doesn't that make more sense?"

"Your origami is another thing that gave you away. You are too good at it. Nobody who hadn't studied it for many lifetimes would be that good."

"I have been doing it almost my whole life, Kyle. This would have been one of the things you could have asked me about. I'm a fidgeter, I needed something to keep my hands busy. Some people knit, I fold paper.  I've been doing it since I was 6 or 7 and I first saw someone make a dove. You do something for more than a decade you get pretty good at it."

"How about when you argued with the professor about hemophilia?"

"Excuse me? What argument with a professor?"

"Jacqueline said that you told Professor Randal that the rumors of rampant hemophilia in the royal families were not actually true. And that he didn't believe you until you showed him an article online that said it was used as a sort of shield to protect the young children. Nobody wanted to be the one to cause an injury that would make them bleed out so they gave them distance. But there wasn't really any disease. He still didn't believe you but was impressed that you had ever seen an article on the subject considering it was published in such an obscure journal."

"That's not really much of an argument. And why would my reading an obscure journal make me a faerie? Wouldn't it be more likely that I was just someone who spent way too much time online?"

"Funny you mention online. That's how I discovered that the journal is written by and mostly read by Fae creatures. So you see, you tipped your hat by knowing about it."

"You found a list of what faeries read online? Seriously?"

"You would be surprised what you can find online."

"I'm sure I would be. Tell me, have you ever gone to vanhelsing.com?"

Kyle rolled his eyes, "Now you're making fun of me."

"Kyle, you have me locked in a fucking cage talking about selling me because you think I'm a faerie. I'm pretty sure you can handle a little mocking."

He wrote a few more things down in his notebook.

"Subject is mocking me. Do not understand the hostile tone. You would think I kidnapped her. Is that what you are writing, Kyle?"

"No. If you must know I'm noting the time. I imagine with limited access to your nectar and being surrounded by iron as you are that you won't be able to hold your human form forever. I'm waiting to see what happens when you turn."

"What do you think will happen, Kyle?"

"I'm not sure. All of the images online are just guesses. Nobody seems to know what a faerie looks like in their natural form."

"So you really aren't going to give me back my meds?"

"Nope."

"And you are really planning on selling me off once you force me into my natural faerie form?"

"Yep."

"Okay, then I guess I have no choice but to level with you."

Kyle wrote some more notes very quickly and leaned forward anxiously.

"You're right. I'm not entirely human, Kyle. You got me. You should be really proud. I've been passing my whole life. Only three people ever have picked up that something wasn't quite the same about me, but you are the first to go to this," she motioned at the cage, "sort of lengths to prove it."

"What happened to the other two?"

"Nervous, Kyle? I don't see why. You clearly have the upper hand here and have this all figured out."

"What happened to the other two?"

"They asked me what I was and I told them. Then they went their way and I went mine. I told you that you could have just asked me instead of going to such drastic lengths. But then, of course, they weren't looking to make a profit off of me. They were just curious. The myths and the truth weren't lining up for them."

"What do you mean the myths and the truth?"

"Oh, like you said you thought I might be a sprite? Well, Kyle, you better hope you never run across a sprite in real life. They are vicious creatures. You ever try to trap one of them and you will end up with a swarm on your doorstep. They will pick your bones clean like a school of piranha. They might be the meanest things in the whole supernatural world."

"Sprites? The little sprites?"

"Judge them by their size do you?" She laughed at her own joke. He wasn't so someone had to.

"And, Kyle, Jacqueline got the story wrong. She overheard Professor Randal and I talking about the hemophilia myth and put the pieces together in the wrong way. That happens sometimes when people are eavesdropping on creatures they shouldn't be. See, Professor Randal isn't strictly human either. I'll let you try and figure out exactly what he is on your own. But anyway, the truth is much more interesting than the myth. See the German Royals did have a particular blood disease, but it wasn't hemophilia. They didn't bleed out so much as they didn't keep their blood. I know it seems like the same thing, but it isn't, not really. They were reliant on blood donations to be able to maintain their lives. And there had to be an official reason why they kept on donors in the castle at all times so, hemophilia. And that also kept people from the outside from wanting to marry in to the family. Who wants to risk passing a deadly disease on to their children?

So the family tree got a little loopy there for awhile, but they finally figured out how to survive with their blood issues and ventured out into the world. Intermarrying with other Royals and then eventually the rest of the world. The gene gets passed down in families still, but if you teach the children young how to deal with the iron deficiencies they do just fine."

"Iron deficiencies?"

"Well, yes, that's what most blood diseases boil down to. How you process iron. How much blood can you keep in your system? How much iron can you process?"

"So the Royal families couldn't process the iron in their blood. Are you saying that's because they were fae and the fae can't tolerate iron?" Kyle was getting excited by this information. He was scribbling notes down as fast as he could.

"The Royal Family were no more fae than I am, Kyle."

Kyle jumped, her voice was much closer than it should have been. He looked up and directly in to her eyes. She wasn't in the cage anymore. He started to scramble out of the chair and she reached out and pushed him back in with one finger. He slammed into the seat. "What..."

"What the hell, Kyle? That's how I started! Now you know how it feels right?"

"See, Kyle, you messed up. I tried to give you a hint. You really should have checked out vanhelsing.com before you came for me. I'm not fae, I'm human. Ish. Vampire sounds so old fashioned, but that's really what I am. Vampire."

"That can't be because..."

"Because I go out during the day? Because I'm not phased by crosses? Because I can sit next to Crystal when she eats her garlic mashed potatoes in the cafeteria? Kyle, dude, don't you think a line of creatures that has existed forever would put out a little false information? How do you think we've survived this long?" She moved the items on his desk around then patted down his pockets until she found her silver vial. "I'll take this, thank you."

"What is it?"

"Oh come, now, I think you can guess."

"B.b.b.lood?"

"Smart boy. Okay, not really smart. I mean you kidnapped a vampire, starved her, locked her in an iron cage where she could sit quietly and absorb the iron energy until she was strong enough to escape and then...well. So yeah, not really smart, Kyle. I'm a vampire, Kyle, not a faerie. I don't weaken from iron, I get stronger. It's not as good as my condensed blood, but as you stole my vial it worked just fine. That's why I'm here, by the way, my family runs a distillery. Best condensed product out there. A few drops a day is all it takes. I needed a business degree to help us expand. Going in to the family business. Just need to figure out where we are going to get more donors." She gave him a cold smile.

Kyle tried to scoot away from her one more time but she reached out and grabbed his wrist holding him in place.

"You wanted to know what the nails are for? I think it's only fair to show you." She traced a line down his wrist with her right pinky. A line of crimson formed quickly. She leaned down and licked the blood away making a face, "Some people really like the extra kick from the adrenaline but I never did care for it." Kyle stared at his wrist as the cut healed and disappeared. "Neat trick right? It's in the saliva. We are healers. You'll find a lot of us in the medical profession. Great plastic surgeons especially. Very little scaring. It just didn't appeal to me as much. I like numbers. I really do." She ran her finger over her lower lip wiping up a little bit of blood that had smeared there.

"Are you going to kill me?"

"Kill you? No, Kyle, I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to work with you to destroy all of your notes and cover up all of your tracks. I'm going to help you destroy your little dungeon here. I'm going to make sure everyone on all of the chat boards you've visited knows that you are crazy. Then we are going to part ways and you are going to change schools."

"Why would you trust me?"

"Oh, I don't trust you, Kyle. I don't trust you at all. But the one thing that is true," she looked him in the eye and he watched the golden spokes start to pulse, "Is the hypnotism. You'll be a good boy, Kyle, and that's the truth."

"The truth..." Kyle repeated.

Changes...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Really? Please.

In November 2016 a day before the presidential election a friend of mine posted one of those memes with the inspirational message printed over a lovely nature image. It was a heartfelt lie message about how we should all be kind to each other after the election and to be especially kind to those whose candidates lost because they would be most upset.

Really? Please.

I mean, I thought it was nice, but it was a bullshit post. Want to know how I know? Because for the past year this very same friend has posted about crybabies and snowflakes. See, they didn't want EVERYONE to be nice to each other. They thought their guy was going to lose and wanted EVERYONE to be nice to them. They had zero urge for reconciliation, they just didn't want to be mocked. They didn't want everyone who had heard the Benghazi Bitch rant to come point out it was President Benghazi Bitch now. They had realized that the ugliness of the past election season was about to be served with a side of crow. But then it wasn't. And instead of holding true to the sweet meme that had obviously meant so much the day before the Lock Her Up! was back and everyone who didn't agree just needed to suck it up and shut up.

So you see, when the media does its stupid dance where they want me to believe that the President is going to come out tonight and sound presidential and he's going to unify the country with a pretty speech I tend to believe it's bullshit. Not because I don't think it's a nice thought, but because for the past year he has tweeted and signed executive orders and given interviews that show he doesn't feel that way. They are very fine people on both sides, don't you know? And there's no collusion, no collusion, no collusion, and even if there is collusion it's not against the law. And many people are saying there is no obstruction of justice, many people saw him say that he fired Comey to end the investigation but that's somehow not obstruction. And release the memo! Not the memos, because god forfend you get the Democrats talking points about the Republican memo out there, just release the memo that Nunes the Sycophant wrote. And we love the Police, just not the FBI and we think the DOJ does a wonderful job except when it doesn't do what we want them to do...And sure, Congress passed more sanctions against Russia but that doesn't mean we actually have to enforce them right? But you get more money in your paycheck this month and that should keep you from noticing that the company writing that check will be getting substantially more and theirs are permanent while yours isn't. And hey, let's talk about infrastructure but now we don't have the money to do anything because you know, tax cuts, but ignore that while we talk about the cutting of immigration. Oh not the illegal kind, the legal kind. The one we've started calling Chain Migration instead of Family Migration because it sounds so much worse to say we aren't letting families in. And let's do that while we bemoan the fact that Confederate statues are being torn down. I mean they were in favor of in chains migration...

So you can see from that really long paragraph, which doesn't even begin to touch on everything that's happening right now I am pretty sure the State of the Union speech will be bullshit. He'll read someone else's words off of a teleprompter. He might not even shoot himself in his foot. He'll get glowing accolades for reading all the words right and FINALLY sounding presidential! (pay no attention to the fact that for the 8 years previous reading a teleprompter was something to be mocked, now it's the very best way to get the very best words) Is this the pivot? (spoiler alert, it isn't) In a day or two someone will say something about him and he will tweetstorm away. Hell, they are taking him on the road to get his applause rooms that he loves so he might even be able to restrain himself until...well Sunday I would guess. It is the SuperBowl after all and even though his favorite team is in it, he can't love it because of those damn kneelers and their disrespect to the troops that they aren't in any way shape or form protesting against. And he will be livid because people with their fucking facts will find the places where he was wrong in his speech or where he takes credit for things he didn't do and FAKE NEWS!

Maybe I will be wrong. Maybe this really will be the point where he decides that being president should mean something more than being a reality tv star did. Maybe this will be the point where the people that had two baskets available to them and chose the deplorable one are disappointed and he becomes an American for all Americans. But I've had his entire political campaign and the first year of his presidency to say to me that he's already shown us all who he is and I cannot imagine one speech is going to change that.