HR...

"You going to eat that or just keep poking it with your fork?"

"Hmmm? Oh yeah, sorry, I'm a bit distracted. I got a message that HR wants to see me this afternoon."

"HR? What for?"

"I don't know. They didn't say, I just got the message with the time. But it's never good right? I mean has anyone ever had a good 'summoned to human resources' story?"

"You could be the first?"

"Maybe."

She kept pushing her salad around with her fork. She knew she should eat, but her stomach was in knots. What in the world could they want to see her for? She had gone over every interaction she could think of, subordinates, superiors, peers. She couldn't think of a single thing that had been done wrong. But still, she was going to face HR this afternoon.

It was strange; she had just had a conversation with her husband about going to HR with a complaint. Not that she had one, but that sometimes people forgot that HR didn't work for them, it worked for The Company. The job of HR was to protect The Company. It was always best to remember that when debating going to HR with a problem. Would that fix your problem or make you the problem?

"Okay, I give up, I'm not going to eat. Do you want any of this?"

"Nah, thanks, I had plenty."

She put the lid back on her tupperware and slid the dish back into the mini-fridge. It wouldn't be as fresh tomorrow but it would still be edible. Assuming she was still going to be here tomorrow to eat it. She shook her head, best not to imagine the worst. She really could be the first to go to HR for a good reason. She laughed to herself. Probably not.

She went back to her desk to try and get a few things done before her meeting. She was having a really hard time concentrating. Was everyone staring at her? Were they whispering about her? Did they know she had been called to HR? Worse yet, had they reported her for something? Was she going because she had done something to one of them? Or worse yet, hadn't done something but was reported anyway. A false claim was so hard to prove wrong. Was she going to be suspended? The first time she knew someone had been suspended she had thought it would be temporary, but nobody ever came back from suspension. They should just say terminated. Using softer words didn't make it better.

The minutes seemed to drag along until they suddenly sped up and she was standing in the inner office of HR. The receptionist looking over the glass partition that kept her away from any disgruntled HR visitors, "Have a seat. They are finishing up with another employee. You're next."

"Excuse me, do you know if this is a video review or..." she swallowed, it shouldn't matter. It was just a feeling a few of them had, if your review was done remotely by video screen it was a minor infraction, if it was a face to face, well you were done.

"Just have a seat, they will call you in when they are ready."

She shouldn't have asked. Now that would go in her file, she was sure of it. Don't show nerves. Keep calm. You've done nothing wrong. You have been a model employee. You...

"You can go in now."

Had she missed the other employee coming out? Or was there a back door so they didn't see each other. Some psychiatrist's offices had that. One entry and one exit so people didn't cross paths in the waiting room. A way to keep things confidential.

"You can go in now."

"Oh, yes, sorry." She stood on legs so wobbly she wasn't sure they would work to carry her in to the room. She opened the door and saw that yes, it was a face to face meeting. In fact the head of HR was sitting behind the table a file opened on the desk. Her file she assumed.

"Come in, have a seat."

She sat stiffly. Barely touching the chair she was so ridged.

"Do you know why we've called you in here today?"

"No, I don't. I really don't."

"Good."

She looked puzzled.

"It's good because that means we have nobody talking when they shouldn't be. A Company is only as good as the secrets it keeps, don't you agree?"

She still looked puzzled.

"I'm sure that's the expression. Anyway, we've been reviewing your file. You've been nothing short of perfect in your time with us. Never an infraction. No late days. No unexcused sick days. No personal phone calls. No office drama. Nothing. You've been exemplary."

She smiled then, it was going to be a good meeting. "Thank you. I was raised to..."

The head of HR cut her off, "We need more like you. We have too many others who are not as efficient. Who are late, or lazy, or wasteful.You are none of those things." A button was pressed and a video screen began showing her at lunch putting her food back in the fridge. "Many would have thrown that away instead of saving it for later."

She was shocked. They filmed them at lunch? Thank goodness she hadn't said anything negative.

"Do you understand how valuable of an employee we find you to be? You should be honored."

She was puzzled again, she had said thank you before hadn't she? "Thank you. I appreciate that you  noticed."

"Yes. We noticed. And we've decided that you should be more for us."

Oh my goodness, was she getting a promotion? A raise? Could she and her husband finally afford to have a child? That was their dream. To have children. But they were so expensive. And the paperwork involved was daunting. A promotion would mean so much.

"We've sent a note to your husband informing him of the change."

"Excuse me? I'm sorry. I must have missed something?" She couldn't believe her daydreaming had kept her from hearing.

"We've sent a note to you husband. We would not want him to be worried about where you are. It wouldn't be prudent for him to make a scene. We've found that sometimes the mated pairs make scenes."

"I'm still not understanding what you are saying."

"You are going to be more for us."

Okay, so she had heard all that was said, she just didn't understand.

"We need more like you. So you will be the base of our new HR department. Finding ones like you has been slow and often not fruitful. Making more of you will be easier for all involved."

What was being said finally filtered through. She stared into the alien black eyes of the head of Human Resources, "You are going to make a clone of me?"

"Oh no, not a clone. A whole division. We are going to extract your DNA and synthesize a whole new human division."

"Extract my DNA?"

"Yes, you will be moving to the lab and staying there. The process shouldn't take too long, or not too long for our kind. You, of course, will be kept in suspension and will be unaware of the time. We aren't animals after all."

She started to shake. They were taking her to the lab. She was going to be suspended. Termination would have been better.

There never was a good meeting with Human Resources...