Public Displays of No Affection...

"Why would you want to have this fight here?"

"Is there a better place to have it?"

"ANYwhere else seems like a better place."

"So maybe I should wait until you get to work and then have it at your desk?"

"No, of course not."

"Or maybe Sunday morning at brunch? Would that be better?"

"Okay, no, I mean..."

"Or how about tomorrow night at the movie theater? That way it would be dark and you wouldn't have to look at me."

"Stop it, you're just being ridiculous now."

"I'm being ridiculous? Me? You're the one who wants to choose the appropriate place for this fight to happen. I'm just trying to accomodate you. I'm being reasonable."

"Reasonable? I don't think..."

"No, you don't think. At least not about me. You don't consider me at all do you?"

"That's not true! Of course I consider you."

"When exactly? When you are doing the EXACT THING I asked you never to do again or after you were done?"

"That's not fair."

"No, you're right, it's not fair. Not at all. I can't keep asking you not to do that and then you do it anyway and expect me to be okay with it all. That's not fair. How am I supposed to trust you when you make promises and don't keep them? You are lying to me."

"I am not lying to you! I wouldn't lie to you!"

"Have I asked you not to do that?"

"Yes, but..."

"And did you do that?"

"Yes, but..."

"Repeatedly?"

"Yes, but...."

"But what?"

"Are you going to let me finish now? I was waiting for you to interrupt me again."

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it...how rude that would be. Go on explain how repeatedly promising me you wouldn't while you continued to wasn't lying."

"I didn't lie. I didn't plan on it, it just happened. I had no intention of it ever happening again when I told you that it wouldn't. So it's not a lie."

"Why would you think it wouldn't happen again if you keep doing it?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Why would you keep asking me not to do it when you know I will?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?"

"Okay, okay, calm down...shh...maybe that wasn't the best example...shhh..."

"Don't you dare shush me! Do.not.dare."

"Look, can we do this later at home?"

"No, I want to do this right now. How can I trust you that you won't just ignore it again at home and not talk about it?"

"I don't think you will give me that choice."

"I cannot believe you...."

"Umm, excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, I appreciate that this seems like a bad time but we do have other parents waiting for their teacher conferences, so if we could get back to Kinsey's watercolor picture..."