Manners Matter...

"I'd rather not, thank you though for asking." Then she smiled and started to go on her way sure that that would be the end of the discussion.

Her mother had taught her that politeness mattered. Even in situations where you wouldn't think it would make a difference it really could. She remembered once as a young child she and her mother had been shopping in New York City, now this was the New York City of the 1980s not the clean and friendly Disney version of New York City she now quite enjoyed, but the grittier version from her childhood. Which to be perfectly frank, she had quite enjoyed as well.

But anyway, her mother and she had been shopping and were waiting for a cab when a man stepped out of an alley way and told her mother to give him her purse. "Oh, no dear, I don't think I will do that. I need my purse you see. But thank you for asking." The would be robber had stared at her mother.

"I wasn't asking, I was telling. Give me the bag!"

"Oh I know, but I was giving you a chance to correct yourself. I am sure your mother taught you better manners than that. You shouldn't tell people what to do, you should ask them politely."

He leaned forward a little, the puzzled look on his face increasing. "Give me the bag and nobody gets hurt."

Her mother had smiled again, "No thank you, really, I need my bag you see. It has my ID in it, and my house keys and the pictures of my children. It's very important to me to keep my bag. If you take it from me you will most likely just throw it away, correct? That doesn't do either one of us any good."

"LADY! GIVE ME THE BAG!"

"I'd rather not. Here, you can take this as I see it seems to be very important to you to get something out of this exchange." Her mother held out a $20 bill she had had tucked in to the edge of her glove to give to the cab driver. He reached out to snatch it from her and she pulled it back away from him, "What do you say?"

He stared at her again.

"Please? Thank you?" her mother prompted.

He shook his head at the crazy woman, "Please may I have the money?"

"Of course, dear, go get something to eat with it. I assume you have forgotten your manners because you are hungry."

He took the money and stared at them again. Her mother cocked her head and nodded a bit, "And?"

He stammered out, "Thank you."

Just then a cab pulled up and he actually reached out and opened the door for them. "Oh, thank you so much. That is very kind of you."

So you see, she had reason to believe that a firm politeness could make a difference. She preferred to use "I'd rather" and "Thank you" over almost any other tactic. She could be more forceful when needed, but it was rarely needed.

She had used it in job negotiations. "I'd rather I was payed more than that, I  am sure you can understand my point of view." She had used it more than once to correct bad behavior when she was working as a waitress, "I'd rather you didn't touch me when I walk past you. If you need my attention you can ask for me by name. Thank you so much." She had used it on her children when they were growing up, "I'd rather you put your clothes away than leave them on the bed, or in the dryer. Thank you." Always said with a smile on her face and a calm demeanor. She rarely had to state her preference twice.

Except this time.

"No really, I'd rather not. You see I have to be on my way. I have things I need to take care of today and this will not work for me at all." She smiled again to get her point across. Her very best firm smile. The one that showed she meant business.

This was a puzzling situation to be sure. A polite yet firm denial was not an option. They held out their hand again, this time shaking it a little to get the point across.

"I understand what you are asking. I'm not confused. I'd just rather not. But thank you for giving me the option."

There was no option. This was not a situation where options were considered. To think that there would be an option was puzzling. They held out their hand one more time. This time with a quick snap to the extension. Impatience was not something they normally felt, time was not usually a consideration.

She smiled and shook her head and turned once more to walk away. They stood in front of her again. "Oh, now that's a very fancy trick. You move very quickly, considering you don't seem to have any muscle mass. Quite impressive. But really, I am in a bit of a hurry here and I'd rather not go with you just now. Thank you, though."

They dropped their hood and stared at her through apparently empty eye sockets. It had been years since they had to speak to someone and they weren't even sure that there was a voice left in their form, "You don't get to choose." They rasped out.

"Oh but I always get to choose. We all have choices. Even you have a choice. And right now I'd rather not, and you can choose to come back later. It will just be easier for all parties involved."

They shook their head, "No. There are no choices. Your time is over."

"No, no, it's not. It can't be because I have things left to do. I have a grandchild on the way, did you know that? How can my time possibly be over when I have that to come?"

Now they understood. Bargaining they had heard before. They shook their head, "The child will hear of you. But you can't stay any longer. Your time is over."

She shook her head again and in her sternest, yet still polite tone said, "No. I'd rather not leave right now, thank you."

They shook their head again. "You cannot decided. You are part of the wheel and your turn is over. It is time for someone else to take your place."

"Excuse me? What do you mean take my place?"

If they had eyes they would have rolled them. Nobody understood the ways of LIFE anymore, "Your force needs to leave this body, there is another body waiting for you to join. If you delay much longer that child will be born as only part of the whole it was intended to be."

"You mean reincarnation? I go again?"

They waved their hands back and forth a little, "Not entirely you. Part of you with part of another. Your force is part of a quilt. You all borrow from each other. Right now the you that you hold in this body is a collection of 4 different lives that came before. The next body you are destined for is 8. Unless you somehow make it only 7. Which would be disastrous."

"Why disastrous?"

"If the system doesn't work, which is rare, but it happens, the body that was designed to hold 4 only gets 3 or gets 5, for instance, the life they live will be chaotic and unhappy. Always searching for something they are missing, the need to fill an always empty space that they cannot possibly fill. Or always feeling as though they are too much, too full, too many voices. Chaotic and unhappy."

"Oh." She paused and thought for a moment. "So it would be rude of me to delay any longer."

They nodded, "Yes. That is one way to put it. It would be rude."

"Well why didn't you say so in the first place."

She reached out to Death and took hold of their bony hand. "No sense making everyone else wait. I'd rather we do this quickly, thank you."