Thursday, April 30, 2015

Aloha...

Hey look! I'm going to write about Hawaii in the same month that we got back from Hawaii! (shush, the last day totally counts!)

So the trip was truly a last minute deal. We went last year (to Oahu) and I thought that was last minute because we planned it a couple of months ahead, but this time it was really last minute, about a month out. We had two trips on the line for March and both fell through for different reasons so we ended up with vacation longing and no vacation planned. Brent really needed a break from work and finally just said, "That's it, we are going someplace. Pick Disney or the beach!"

I went back and forth. This is actually a really hard choice for me. But the beach finally won out. He booked tickets and a hotel and left the rest up to me. Maui was the island choice. I want to go to each of the Hawaiian islands and pick my favorite. So far the Big Island is still my favorite but I'm not sure if that's because it was my first trip there, because it was all three of us so it was good family time, or because the excursions we did were in between work meetings so the little breaks were really highlighted as special. Or it could just be that volcanoes are super cool. We will have to go back before I can make my final call.

Anyway...this time was Maui. Last minute and good deals meant a long travel day with layovers and connections but that was really the only travel woe. I know right? Usually there is a good travel story but other than the length of time it took there really wasn't one. I took a picture of us on each new leg and posted it to Facebook as a travelogue of sorts and, I'm not going to lie here, a fuck you to the people who gave me grief about our traveling and my posting too much. Yes I know, be the bigger person...blah blah blah...

Or fuck you...one of those for sure.

So we got to the hotel and BOOM! Upgrade! Wow, that's really nice. They gave us a junior suite with an ocean view instead of the queen bed ocean view. It was all very nice until we got off the elevator and walked the three feet to our room; there were little hints that someone had been in it already that day. So basically because we got in late they took our smaller room and gave it to whoever was in the elevator shaft room once they complained about the noise...It was too late and I was too tired to want to do anything about it that night (I had an hour sleep the night before) so we decided to wait and see how bad it really was.

Turns out it wasn't bad. We were exhausted and people stopped coming and going fairly early so the elevator noise wasn't an issue for most of the night. It started up fairly early in the morning but me being me had us booked every day early with activities anyway so it wasn't an issue. But next time we will ask where the room is located before getting impressed with our "upgrade."


But that view though...

Okay, first day! I booked us on the Road to Hana tour. I really went back and forth on this one. I knew I wanted to drive it, it is the thing to do right? But I wasn't sure about the actually driving it part. Or I guess us driving it. But if we took the tour it would be all day and since our time was limited did I really want to book and entire day? I finally went with the tour because that way Brent could look around and enjoy things as well instead of having to focus on driving.

It was the right call. The roads are narrow, the local drivers are crazy and the enjoyment factor for the person driving would have been super low. We passed one woman on one of the one lane bridges who was slightly confused about what one lane meant and tried to make it two; the entire side of her rental car paid the price. Ouch. So if you want to do the Road to Hana I highly recommend taking a tour.

We stopped numerous times to take in sites. Waterfalls, historic sites, pretty beaches, snack and potty breaks as well. They also supplied breakfast and lunch so not bad at all. It was pouring rain at the top of the mountain (also a great reason to be glad we didn't drive) so the Seven Pools (don't call them Sacred, they aren't that was just marketing, oh you marketers!) were closed when we got there. We could still see parts of them from the trail that was open, but no swimming that day since they figure people don't really want to be swept out to the ocean in a flood of water. 

This was probably my favorite stop. Walk through a narrow short cave then it opens to this. The beach was all black sand and the waves and water were gorgeous. 

See the post? That's the edge of the road. See how there is no road showing? That's how close to the edge you drive.

My last piece of advice on the tour is this...If you are a parent please know who your kid is when you book the tour. If your child is the sort that can tolerate a 12 hour van ride then have at it. If your child is one that will complain about oh...five minutes in...then don't! Also have a sense of humor and be polite. You are going to be riding in a van with strangers for hours and hours. Put your public manners on and keep them there. Okay? 

When we got back to the hotel we grabbed dinner (oh my god good lobster mac and cheese) and then took a walk on the beach. Brent was a little concerned with my mental health by this point. I hadn't been in the ocean yet. Or the pool. I had explained that the trip was short and there wouldn't be time for me to just be in the water, but he didn't really believe it. I love the ocean so I can understand his confusion, but I wasn't kidding about tight schedules. But we walked the beach until it was too dark for me to see anything anymore. Feet in the waves. Then legs. Then a couple of surprise BIG waves and we were good and soaked. I could do that every night and not get tired of it. 
 The water was SO warm. Ahhh...


They had these boats all up and down the beach that would load and unload their passengers right on the sand. This was the end of the sunset cruise. I thought it was pretty cool.

Losing daylight...

The next day was snorkeling at Molokini and Turtle Arches. Another one I recommend. The water was super clear. The weather was perfect. It was really incredible. At Molokini. Turtle Arches not so much, I would recommend doing that one from the shore out rather than from a cruise. Everyone I have talked to that did it that way saw more turtles and fewer crowds than we did. But Molokini was incredible. 

The only part that was a bummer was rude people. We had seats facing the rails and these two couples from Canada came and stood in front of us. They got on the boat later and didn't care for their view so they blocked ours. Who does that? And then the people sitting on the other side of us kept using Brent's towel. The first time I gave them a pass, all the hotel towels look alike, though honestly, you should know where yours is and realize you are grabbing someone else's. The second time? What the hell, really? So Brent had a damp towel each time. 

Not exactly the view I was hoping for...

But when you are snorkeling in water like this how can you be mad for long?

And bonus whales on the way back to port!

The other funny part was this is where we realized we were in the height of Canadian tourist season. It was us and hundreds of Canadians everywhere we went. I told Brent that I thought the very large group of two families sitting near us were Canadian due to their accents. He wasn't sure. I made the joke that we should yell Hockey! and see who looked. We laughed...and then later the Canadians who blocked our view and the large family started talking hockey...I just smirked at Brent. And then was very proud of being a grownup and only saying the snarky things under my breath, like when they both announced their picks for The Stanley Cup and said, "Really any team as long as it's a Canadian team." *whisper to Brent* "Awww...here's an idea then, play better." And then they talked about or at least make it an Original Six team. Ugh. There is very little that makes me roll my eyes harder than Original Six talk. And yes, I know, the NHL team I cheer for is an Original Six team. But it just doesn't matter...

Yes, I was on a boat in Hawaii in 80 degree weather snorkeling, whale watching, diving with turtles and thinking about hockey...totally normal.

This was also the part of the trip where I messed up. I put on more sunscreen after each dive but I don't think I dried off enough after the turtle dive for it to stick. Between that and not thinking about reapplying before the drive back to the hotel (convertibles aren't designed for the translucent) I ended up with a sunburn. Which isn't hard for me to get, but I am usually really good about not getting much of one. The first trip we took to Hawaii we were there for a week, I was in the water every day, and I came back beige with a pink nose. That's the way I usually handle the sun. This time? Bright red. Ugh. 

We headed in to Lahaina for some site seeing and to see the world famous banyan tree. Okay, I'm going to be honest here, we should have gone back to the hotel and spent the afternoon in the pool or the ocean until dinner time. The tree was cool, I recommend seeing it, but it's a tree. It will take about 15 minutes. And unless you shop, Lahaina is not all that wonderful. But the guides all said GO! So I went. I wouldn't again. I would swim. But we saw it, and that was something. The best part of Lahaina was vacationing Canadians. Or I guess more specifically OUR vacationing Canadians. Friends of ours were there with their family and we got a chance to have dinner with them. It was awesome to see them and just reinforces that we need to take the drive and the ferry to their island soon!
It really is a cool tree. You should see it, just don't plan on it taking long. 

Yay for Canadians!

And on to the last day! Which came really quickly while we were living it, but I appreciate you are probably thinking, FINALLY! 

This was the geek day. I made Brent do a tour of a pineapple plantation. Yes, I know, not super exciting edge of your seat stuff, but I thought it would be cool. And I did think it was cool. Because I'm a geek. If you are interested in farming and pineapples and seeing how the only pineapple operation in the states runs, then take the tour. It's short. Like an hour and half long. You get to sample pineapples at different stages of ripeness that are cut right out of the field while you are there and you get to take home your very own pineapple for later. It was a yummy tour. 

Then on to the helicopter tour! When we were on the Big Island we went back and forth on taking a helicopter tour over the volcano. I finally decided there was no way I could justify the expense. This trip I justified. And it was amazing. If you can fit it in your budget (it's not cheap, I'm not going to lie) you should do it. We saw parts of the island we would never have been able to get to otherwise. We saw the Road to Hana from above and got to see all of the switchbacks and narrow roads we had been on. We saw waterfalls, and bamboo jungles, and whales in the ocean It was gorgeous. Really and truly.


The crater of the volcano

 The waterfall from the opening of Jurassic Park

One of the best parts for me was when we took off she played the theme to Hawaii 5-0. It was geektastic. There was also one point where just as we were turning in to a canyon and this majestic waterfall came in to view the theme from Superman started. Really nice! She did the "use their names to establish a connection" tactic a little too much for our liking, and needed to add a few more stories to her repertoire, there was a lot of repeat, but those are really nit picky things when you are talking about the views we got to see. Gorgeous. 

We wrapped up the day with a trip to the aquarium and dinner in Paia, or hippy town as they call it. Then the red-eye back home.

Whirlwind trip but I got us a pretty good overview of the island, I think. We have a list going for things we missed that we wished we hadn't so someday when we get back to Maui we will hit those up.

Some extra travel tips! Pack expecting it to be windy. The trade-winds on Maui are no joke. I wear skirts instead of shorts and had to wear my maxi-dress twice because the shorter pleated skirt would have been a disaster! The longer skirt I wore the first day took both Brent and I to wrangle it at one point on a stop on the Road to Hana tour! And watch that sunscreen! With the winds you might think it's not getting you...but it's getting you! Make reservations at Mamma's Fish House as soon as you know when you are going! We didn't and they could have fit us in on a cancelled reservation 45 minutes before our flight left Wednesday (remember we were taking the red eye!), or April 25th.  And remember, ask just exactly where that upgrade room is located...

Aloha!





Wednesday, April 29, 2015

My life in click bait...

Imagine if your life were described in internet headlines. What would it look like? Here are some of my highlights from the past couple of days:


Woman hits Starbucks where it HURTS!!!
(I used a $2 off  drink coupon this morning)

Anti-environmentalist asks GOTCHA question...what this woman does in response will INSPIRE you!
("Paper or plastic?" "Oh, no thanks, I don't need a bag for that.")

Woman discovers TIME MACHINE! See if it will work for you!
(I listened to an 80s playlist at the gym this morning)

Woman shows Fox News EXACTLY what she thinks of them!
(I rolled my eyes and went back to watching SportsCenter)

Portland Winterhawks using VOODOO to win home games? We will let you decide...
(I always wear my red shirt first in a home series and you know, we won, so yeah...)

Could this SIMPLE symbol be the key to international peace??
(I posted a heart emoticon on a South African friend's status this morning)

Woman discovers SECRET of extra likes on photos. We think it will work for you!
( Opened my Facebook feed saw a new profile picture of a friend and Woah! That's a lot of cleavage! *like*)

Was it skin cancer? What this woman does will ASTONISH you!
(Saw a weird black spot on my arm, realized it was a mini-chocolate chip from the cookies I was making so I picked it up and ate it)

Is this the secret to keeping a marriage HOT?
(I brought Brent his knit hat for the game last night)

A half hour and two and half miles later and she ends up exactly where she started. How is this possible?? The answer will AMAZE you!
(treadmill)

Discover the SECRET to maintaining online friendships!
(typed a response on math and percentages versus raw numbers and racism in the media and confirmation bias and then deleted it)

Woman DESTROYS tomato lobbyists! 
(put mustard on my hot dog)

Woman discovers SECRET to HAPPINESS. Try her trick and see if it works for you! 
(I hide all stories from websites I know are full of shit)

Amuse yourself for HOURS with this one EASY habit!
(sometimes I pretend everything I do can be summed up in a clickbait headline)


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

It's funny because it's sad...

I'm a list maker. I have notes by the computer for stories. I have notes in my phone for things I want to get done. I have lists for shopping trips. I have lists for things we want in the next car we buy. Lists for things that are specific to what we own now (printer ink, jean brands and sizes, oil type for the car) I keep all of these things going because I am...well...I use multi-focused because flighty sounds so bad.

But I am scatter brained. I don't look at that as a bad thing, even though it's usually used as an insult. Flaky, flighty, scatter brained. All of them can describe me at different times. I use multi-focused and busy brained. I just have a lot going on in my head all the time and so sometimes that means a thought slides in and then right back out without sticking, even if it's important.

Thus lists.

So a couple of weeks ago we are driving to breakfast and the Sunday puzzle comes on. As they are going over the clue from the week before I say, "OH! That's why I had producer and director written in my phone!" See, I had written those down to try and work out the puzzle but then forgotten why I had written them down so when I was looking at a different note I saw that and thought I must have been trying to figure out who produced or directed a certain movie but I couldn't for the life of me remember what movie it must have been. This was close on the heels of discovering that the notes I had taken when we went couch shopping had left of the very minor detail of which store which couch was in.

Brent pointed out my note taking left something to be desired. I argued saying that normally I took really good notes and I knew what they were for. Because I am sure that I do. Except when I went back to look at the list of blogs I was going to write for April I have two short notes on there that I have no clue what they were. No. Clue. Dang it. I bet they were going to be brilliant too.

So now I need to pay attention to my note taking and make sure I have notes for my notes.

Oh and just in case you were wondering this is my 11th blog for April, I wrote out a quick list for 10 ideas to cover and I have covered...one. Now granted, I took 3 blogs to cover it, but still the other 8 blogs for the month have been on other subjects. Because I am multi-focused.

I guess that just leaves a lot of things left to cover in the next...ummm...two days....

Seriously, how do you guys put up with me? (winky smile emoticon)




Monday, April 27, 2015

Nothing...

He asked her what she wanted from him.

She said , "Nothing"

He asked her again.

She smiled and said, "Nothing. I want nothing from you. Just be."

Time passed and still he would ask her.

She would always smile and tell him, "Nothing."

Finally in frustration he yelled at her, "What do you want from me?"

She gave him a puzzled look. "Nothing. I've told you, I want nothing from you."

"But how can I make you happy if you want nothing from me?"

She laughed, "You can't."

"But I want to make you happy."

"I am happy."

He smiled, "You make me happy."

She shook her head, "No, you make yourself happy."

He argued, "It's you. You make me happy."

"Don't put that pressure on me. You are in charge of you being happy. I can't make you happy."

He was confused.

"Don't you want to make me happy?"

"I want you to be happy. I can't make you happy."

"You make me happy."

"You make yourself happy."

"Now you are making me angry."

She smiled sadly at him, "You are making yourself angry."

"You want to take no responsibility for your actions!"

She shook her head, "I take responsibility for my actions. And my emotions. But I refuse to be in charge of yours as well. Be happy. Or be angry. You choose. Not me."

He chose angry. She chose to leave.

He didn't understand her then, he is not sure he understands her now. But he can still hear her voice.

"What do you want from me?"

"Nothing..."



Sunday, April 26, 2015

Soft kitty...

Something about her always reminded him of a kitten.

Sweet.

Soft.

Delicate.

He wanted to protect her.

To hold her.

To always take care of her.

And for awhile he would.

She would bask in his attention.

She would look at him with those wide eyes.

She would curl up next to him.

Life would be good.

Then he would hold too tight.

He would move too quickly.

He would try too hard.

And the eyes would flash.

The change would come.

Retreating to a corner.

Back up.

Teeth bared.

Claws extended.

She would slash out at him until he left.

He would lick his wounds and swear never again.

Until the day would come and he would see her in the sun.

Content.

Happy.

And he would just want to hold her one more time.

Something about her always reminded him of a kitten.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Ladylike...

If she had to sum up her childhood in two words it would be easy. Sit still. There were more words, of course, but those two were the theme of childhood for her.

The constant drumbeat. Sit still. Stop fidgeting. Wash your face. Brush your hair. Straighten your dress. Tie your shoe. Sit still. Act like a lady.

School was miserable. "Cathy is a bright girl but tends to fidget." She could still feel the rap of the ruler on the back of her hands for tapping her fingers on her desk.

Church was even worse. "Stop tapping your foot. Stop wiggling in your seat. Sit still." How was anyone expected to sit still on a wooden pew for hours? Or it at least it seemed like hours. She had wished they were Catholic so at least she could stand and kneel to break the boredom of sitting.

And the worst part for her, the biggest injustice was that the boys were never expected to sit still, to stop wiggling, to behave. It was written off, "Boys will be boys." How could you think they would be able to sit still and have clean faces and tied shoes and brushed hair? That was crazy.

But for her? Sit still. Be a lady.

She tried knitting, crocheting, needlepoint, anything to give her hands something to do while she sat still. She ran when she had free time. Tucked her skirts between her legs and in to her sash and ran. Not to anywhere but just away. Away from the over stuffed chairs in over hot rooms. Away from people who thought that you could only listen if you were still. She learned that she could listen to the woods while running. And sometimes she could hear her own thoughts best when they were accompanied by the stead drum beat of her heart pounding in her ears.

Sit still.

Eventually she learned how to turn that energy inward. To create worlds in her mind. While people would tell the same stories over and over again she made her own. Her face pleasant and blank, worlds of action going on behind her eyes. But she was still so they were fine.

Until they weren't. "Cathy, you aren't paying attention! Did you hear a word I just said?"

And no she hadn't. Sit still. Pay attention. Focus on me.

She would smile and apologize and try. She really did want to try.

Well, no, she didn't really want to try. But she knew she should want to want to try. Everyone else seemed to be able to do it.

Sit still.

She couldn't. Eventually she would be running again. Creating her worlds again. Moving again.

"Cathy's daydreaming again. What are you thinking about? The day your prince will come?"

She smiled.

If he was coming he'd better be able to keep up.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Words, man...

This was going to be a status update but then I realized it was going to be way too long for a status update so now it's a blog.

I am a feminist and I am a humanist. These are two different things. I happen to be both. But they are not interchangeable. I feel like I have to say that because I've noticed more and more people trying to distance themselves from the word feminist and using humanist instead. Sorry, humanist already means something else, so stop it.

Feminism: the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

I feel like I should put that there because people tend to have a hard time holding on to the definition. I've written about it before here. My take is if you aren't a feminist there is something deeply wrong with you. Now I get that you don't want to be thought of as one of "those" people. The ones who whine and bitch and moan and carry on about things and claim it all in the name of feminism. But why do you think that means you should abandon the name? That makes as much sense to me as if Christians and Muslims stopped calling themselves Christian and Muslim because the fringe elements of their groups do crazy things.

Or if you are a republican/democrat and some crazy person starts ranting about things you don't believe and says they are doing it because they are republican/democrat do you then say, "Well I'm not a republican/democrat." or do you say, "Don't agree with that." You don't abdicate the name because the fringe is crazy.

I'm a feminist. I believe men and women should be treated equally. Period.

Now for those of you who are trying to distance yourselves from feminist by using humanist. I get what you are trying to do. You want to be inclusionary. You think that just by the name and by the association it seems feminist means promoting women over men. And feminism is promoting women. But not ahead of men, just to same level. The reason why it's not genderneutralist is because the movement is about raising up a segment that is being treated in an unequal fashion. It's not about dragging men down, it's about raising women up. Not above, but to the same level. Equality. I for one will be thrilled when it's not an issue anymore, but we aren't there yet.

Humanism: a philosophical and ethical stance that emphasizes the value and agency of human beings, individually and collectively, and generally prefers critical thinking and evidence (rationalism, empiricism) over established doctrine or faith (fideism).

And that is what being a humanist is. It's a philosophy. Not an equality stance. It's about reason instead of magical thinking. It's about evidence over faith. Being a humanist goes with my lack of religious belief, not my belief that men and women should be equal. It's not the same thing. Get it? I am a humanist. And I am a feminist. But you absolutely can be one or the other and not be both.

Words mean things.