A year ago we were getting ready to have Mom's funeral. We had pushed it off from when she died in August to give a few family members time to get back to New Mexico. At the time I told you all that I absolutely didn't recommend doing it that way. That it was just like having your grief stuck on hold for awhile and then having to start fresh again.
Then came the pandemic.
So many people have had to put their grief on hold. To either wait on funerals or to hold them with only a handful of people there. For loved ones to pass alone in hospitals or nursing homes and then to not even be able to gathering as loved ones to mourn them.
It's been awful to watch.
And it makes me wonder what we are all going to be facing when this crisis time has passed.
Grief on hold.
Because we are all grieving right now, in various ways. Some of us have lost family or friends. Some have lost jobs. Or businesses. Most all of us have lost our sense of normal. And it's not just going to come right back. Even when/if we get a vaccine that works. And, I think I've said this before but I'm going to say it again, I'm not totally sold on the idea that a vaccine is going to work. Or at least not like we think of with measles or mumps or shingles. It's a type of coronavirus which is what the common cold is. A type of coronavirus. And colds mutate. That's why we get so many of them. And the typing that's happing with this virus shows that there are multiple strains out there. So how will a vaccine work against a mutating virus? I'm not an immunologist so maybe there is some sort of formula that hits a lot of strains and wipes it out, but I just don't understand it. And maybe it will be like the flu vaccine and we will need to get a different one every year. The flu is a different type of virus but still a mutating one, and we are still fighting the virus from the 1918 Flu Pandemic. It didn't "go away" either, just mutating and circulating. I will still get the vaccine when/if they come up with one that they think is promising but I'm not 100% positive that it's the silver bullet people think it is.
Anyway...
Once that happens. Once we have some more protection from this. Or we all learn how to exist with it out there (wear your damn masks, people) we still aren't going to go bouncing back to normal. The people we've lost aren't coming back. A lot of those businesses aren't coming back. Those lost jobs aren't coming back. At least not for awhile. I think we are going to hit a strong recession, possibly a depression before we are through this. And I know a LOT of you are like, THAT'S WHY WE HAVE TO OPEN THE ECONOMY RIGHT NOW! But, look around. You can open a theater but you can't convince most people it's safe to go to a show. You can open a restaurant but you can't convince everyone that eating inside with people you don't know is a great thing.
I read a story on the Navy Pier in Chicago and they closed early for the season because nobody was coming. Or not enough people, anyway. They had shut down then reopened and one of the business owners said he was doing about 6% of his normal sales. Six. Because you can open a store but if the virus isn't contained it doesn't matter. There aren't enough of the "who the hell cares?" people out there to sustain everything. And as we get more spikes, which are happening all across the country, it's just going to keep people in and away.
So there will be more death. A lot more death, as I mentioned, cases are spiking and we still aren't doing anything to contain it, not really, not consistently, not everywhere. There will be a lot more financial upheaval. And we've got a brewing Civil War on our hands too. I think the rise of Q and the real acrimony between people has been exacerbated by the grief we are all living with. We want TO DO SOMETHING and Q has tapped in to that with people who believe that they are somehow really saving children. And the battles between political parties is a way to feel like you are doing something important in a world that's out of control. Good guys and bad guys and if we can help the good guys win then everything is better. Well...
I do want a massive Blue Wave. I do think Trump needs booted from office. And in such large numbers that there is no question that the majority of the American people saw him for what he is, finally, and said, that's not who we are, that's not what we want to be.
But I don't think it's going to make things all better. I think if Biden wins he's facing and even more difficult presidency than Obama did. And Obama came in as the economy was crashing down around us. I think it's going to be really difficult. And I think there are going to be people rooting for him to fail. And I think there are some pretty scary groups out there that are just waiting to fuck some shit up (we've have multiple arrests for planned political kidnappings lately) So no, I don't think it's going to be all better. I think it's going to be really hard.
And we are all going to have to do it while we grieve.
A year ago we had my mother's funeral. We put it off to give people a chance to be there. I don't recommend it. But we are going to be doing it as a country here really soon. We are going to be dealing with the grief, with the loneliness, with everything that has happened during this stretch.
I hope we are able to do it together.
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