If I've Said It Once...

...I'm pretty sure I still couldn't find it in the search results.

I think I've written this blog before. In fact I'm almost 100% certain I've written it before. But I can't find it in my search so I'm writing it again. Because it's still bothering me so even if I have written it before I haven't cleared it all the way out of my head.

So here we go.

Don't take advantage of my good nature.
Don't be a dick to the people I love.
Don't play me for a fool.

Unless you want me to make that face whenever your name is mentioned. Or you want me to tell people the reason why you were taken off of my friend list. Or you want me to treat you as if you do not exist.

Then go on ahead and do those things.

The "On This Day" feature can be really fun or it can make you just shake your head. Today it's a shake my head day. Reading a "discussion" with someone who has since been kicked from my friend list and being reminded once again that they were never ever acting in good faith. They weren't interested in having discussions about differing points of view or expanding their understanding of what other people thought or even trying to see if they could instill a little understanding of their points of view in others. It was just trolling.

Putting out arguments just to argue.

Amazon.com arguing when they started to lose. (Other people who are making the argument you are making have made this argument which I am more likely to win so let me switch)

Taking advantage of my better angels.

Which makes my greater demons come out.

Because I've worked to make sure that I am a decent human being. I let go of the things that I held when I was younger that were making me bitter. I don't like to be like that. I want to meet people and assume they are good people. If someone says something that can be taken in one way that is bad and another way that is good I want to assume they didn't mean the bad. I want you to be acting in good faith when you engage with me in a discussion.

BUT...I'm also pretty observant. I pick up on patterns. I see what and where you are commenting and I see where things are going. Or what you are really doing. I think most people who write can do that. You have to be able to predict human nature if you are going to write convincing characters.

So I was shaking my head today because I really let this person hang around for much too long. I talked myself out of dumping them. Oh they are lonely. Oh they need someone to give the other side of the argument. Oh they are really just looking for information.

Oh, fuck, they were just an asshole all along and you let them be for way too long.

................

Okay, real time attitude shift.

Right before that break the dryer buzzed and it was time to shift laundry around. So I set this aside and went upstairs to take care of that. I'm missing a washcloth. Brent washed towels yesterday and we didn't fold them before bed so I folded them as I started laundry today. The bath sheets and the hand towel came out of the dryer but not the washcloth. I figured that meant the washcloth got stuck to the side of the washer and would end up coming out in the next batch from the dryer. Nope. Not there. So somewhere I've lost a washcloth. Which made me think of a friend of mine who posts about the random things her dryer eats. Mostly socks, but sometimes whole outfits will disappear. The vortex of the dryer.

Then I thought of another friend who could spin a story out of that idea. The dryer as a portal to another realm. The things that disappear are being stolen as supplies.

Then I thought, oh wait, no, that's a story you would write and make your friend read. I get us confused...

And then I realized that I wasn't as angry as I was when I was writing. Which, of course, makes sense, I was focusing on other things. Because that's who I am. You know I like multi-focused better than flighty or easily distracted, but if the washcloth fits...

So then I said it again. Because that's who I am.

So yes, I will never like the person I was talking about before, for all of the reasons I mentioned, but I kept them around for too long because that's who I am.

I want to reach you.
I want you to understand what I'm trying to tell you.
I want to find common ground.
I don't ever want to assume that you are just being an asshole.

Because that's who I am.

I've said it before, don't let who they are change who you are.

I am the sort of person that would rather keep someone around a little too long than drop someone the first time they make me mad.

I am the sort of person who will take it on good faith when you say you want to learn something about someone different than you are.

I am the sort of person who cares if you are lonely or not.

But don't ever misunderstand, I am also not the sort of person who will ignore the warning signs forever. And once I'm done, once I see that you have taken advantage of who I am?

Well, fuck you.

Because that's also who I am.

And now I'm off to ponder the case of the missing washcloth.