Drama Free...

"I never should have trusted you!" She screamed and started to storm out of the room.

"You're right. But you did, so really this is all your fault." He seemed almost bored.

She stopped and turned. That was not the answer she was expecting. She had been expecting him to follow her and plead for her forgiveness or explain how it was all a misunderstanding. Something contrite. But not this.

"What?"

"What, what?"

"What do you mean this is all my fault?"

"I was agreeing with you. You said you never should have trusted me, and you were right, you shouldn't have. This is what it feels like to be right. Is this your first time?"

Her eyes got very wide. "Excuse me?"

"Is this your first time being right? You seem very unsure of how to behave right now."

She actually was unsure. There was a pattern that should have been followed. She got mad, he apologized, then did something to make it up to her, she forgave him until the next time. It was a cycle that she had played out in almost every relationship she had ever had. Her friends called her a Drama Queen but she preferred passionate. If a relationship wasn't passionate what was it? So she tended to find men who would fit her pattern. Passionate.

This time she had dated someone who hadn't really fit that mold. She had loved it about him. And her friends were so impressed with how grown up this relationship seemed compared to her others. No shouting matches in bars, no big scenes at dinner with friends. It was all very drama free. She had thought that she really liked this new relationship style. But now he was sitting there unphased, like it wasn't his fault at all. When it clearly was. He had been flirting with another woman. Well, flirting was mild, he had been pursuing another woman. And not even hiding it very well.

"You were going to cheat on me. I am not sure how that is my fault."

"Going to cheat on you? When did we become something that was cheatable?" He looked at his hands and reached out for hers, "I don't see any rings. I don't recall any promises. You pursued me when you knew I was dating other people. I am not sure how you thought that was anything that changed."

"Because we started dating! We have been going out for months! How could it not have changed? I don't see anyone else!" She was starting to find her footing again. Feeling the righteous anger build.

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't remember ever telling you to stop seeing other people."

"You didn't have to! I shouldn't have had to! We were seeing each other multiple times a week! You were staying over here on weekends more often than you weren't! We were obviously exclusive! You cheated on me!"

"It's not obvious. You are assuming that because it's easier to stay in one bed than move in the middle of the night it meant something more than I like getting an extra hour of sleep. And you're closer to downtown than I am. It's just easier to stay here than trek out to my place. I like you, don't get me wrong, but we never made any promises to each other. You putting something else on me that I didn't ask for is your own issue."

"You need to get out."

He slowly got up and started to gather his things, "Okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say is okay?"

"I am really beginning to believe you have no idea what you want. You told me to get out, so I am getting out. What do you want me to do? Refuse to leave?"

"Well, at least act like you want to stay."

"Why would I want to stay? You are mad and yelling and carrying on. This isn't a great place to be right now."

"Do you not care about us at all?"

"Sure I care. I've been having a good time with you."

"GOOD TIME? That's all this has been?" She was fuming again.

"Yes, a good time. Shouldn't that be the goal? To have a good time? What in the world are you looking for? A bad time? A miserable time?"

"I want to be more than a good time."

"What else is there?"

This stopped her. Her last relationship had ended because they weren't having fun anymore. Neither one of them were having a good time. It was all too much drama all of the time. And the one before that ended the same way. And the one before that. They stopped being a good time. And now she was mad because he only thought of her as a good time and that wasn't enough either. What did she want?

"Well?"

She sat down on the edge of the couch. "I don't know. But something. There has to be something more."

"God, I hope not."

She looked at him like she had never seen him before. And she was realizing that she hadn't. Not really. She had done to him what she had done to every relationship before him. Just slotted him in the empty space and made him what she wanted him to be. She needed a mature, drama free, grown up to have a stable relationship with just to prove that she could do it, so she made him that. But really she had brought home a selfish, inconsiderate jerk, just like always, but just showing it in a different way. Not that she bothered to look. "Hunh."

"Hunh?" He was clearly puzzled for the first time all morning, "What do you mean, hunh?"

"I just figured out that it really wasn't you. It was me. I never knew you at all. You're kind of an asshole."

He laughed at this, "Am I?"

"Yeah, you really are. You knew that I would assume we were dating exclusively, don't act like you wouldn't. But you never bothered to say anything. You liked being able to stay here, and have sex with me, and go to the clubs that I can get in to that you couldn't. You're an asshole. Don't get me wrong, you're really an attractive asshole and you're adequate in bed, but you aren't all that special."

"Adequate?"

"Yeah, adequate. It's enough for a good time. Not great. Wait! That's it."

"What's it?"

"You asked what else there was, that's what else there is. Great. Not good, great. I'm looking for great."

"Okay...." He started to sit back down.

"Oh no, you still need to get out. You will never be great. So you should go find someone who is satisfied with good enough."

He laughed and shook his head, "Alright. You're crazy, you know that right?"

She smiled back at him, "Actually I think for the first time in a long time I'm not."

She followed him to the door and locked it behind him. She went to her desk and started to make a list:

Drama Free-but not an asshole

That was a good start on her way to great.