Of Cows and Pools...

"I should write her a poem."

"A poem? Seriously, dude, that's corny as fuck."

"Shut up. I want to ask her out and I want her to say yes and I think a poem is a good way to do it."

"Have you ever written a poem before?"

"No, but how hard can it be? You just say a bunch of nice things, maybe rhyme a couple of lines and you're golden."

"Okay...sure..."

"It's a good idea. You know it is."

"Okay, what are you going to say?"

"I think she has really great eyes. I'm going to start there. Your eyes are like a cow..."

"WHAT? Like a cow? You are going to tell her she has cow eyes? Dude, her eyes are like limpid pools."

"What the fuck is a limpid pool?"

"It's a poetry thing for eyes. You know, your eyes are like limpid pools, everyone knows that."

"I don't know that. I don't know what limpid pool is. I know her eyes remind me of the cows on my grandparent's farm. She has cow eyes."

"She has cow eyes. What else?"

"Your eyes are like a cow, your hair is like oil."

"Oh for fuck's sake. You are telling her she has oily hair now? Nobody wants to hear they have oily hair!"

"No, it's dark black and really shiny. It's like oil."

"So say her hair is like night."

"Night? Why would I say that? That's stupid."

"And oil isn't?"

"The night is dark and cold and kids are afraid of it. Oil is black and shiny and when the sun hits it there is a rainbow...."

"Okay, fine, do it your way."

"Your eyes are like a cow, your hair is like oil. Your skin is a soft as raw dough."

"Raw dough?"

"Yeah, maybe bread dough? Your skin reminds me of bread dough."

"Yeasty and warm..."

"No! Soft and kind of pale." he cleared his throat, "Your eyes are like a cow, you hair is like oil. Your skin reminds me of bread dough. You smell better than a new car. Please go out with me and we will go far."

"And we will go far? Did you just tell her if she dates you that she's agreeing to sleep with your freaky ass?"

"No! It's just rhymes with car. And we will see stars?"

"You'll knock her out?"

"We won't hit the bar? I'll go where you are?"

"I'll be like a czar."

"Yeah! That's great!"

"No, no it's not! It's awful! I was kidding!"

"Your eyes are like a cow. Your hair is like oil. Your skin reminds me of bread dough. You smell better than a new car. Please say yes to a date and I'll be like a czar."

.....................

A week later

.....................

"Well? Did you give her the poem?"

"Yeah."

"And how did it go?"

"Whatever...She's not all that anyway. But did you see the new girl in chemistry? Her eyes are like limpid pools and her hair is light night..."