"the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living thing." Genesis 2:7
"So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man." Genesis 2:21-22
It had all started simply enough. He found a spell to make a golem and made himself a girlfriend. I mean it's a tale as old as time right? Boy meets mud puddle, boy makes himself a girl. Right?
Okay, maybe it wasn't simple. Maybe it was stupid from the start. But you can't really blame a guy for trying right? I mean what are you supposed to do when you just happen to find a spell like that? It would have been a slap in the face to fate to not use it at that point.
Okay, maybe he didn't just find the spell but actively looked for it. But still...
Maybe if he hadn't just had the worst break up of his life. Maybe if all of his friends hadn't been settling down with perfect women. Maybe if the one that got away, the one that he always thought he would end up back together with hadn't just gotten engaged. Maybe if all of those things hadn't happened he wouldn't have done it.
Except he had been fascinated by the idea of making the perfect woman for as long as he could remember. To have someone who thought you were fascinating. Who liked the same things you did. Who wanted to do the same things you wanted to do. Who looked just like you wanted them to. Who acted just like you wanted them to.
So when his last girlfriend left him with the parting shot of, "I hope someday you find the girl you have been trying to make me in to." He realized that she was right. That's what he needed to do. Instead of buying his girlfriend books of Star Trek fan fiction hoping she would finally see how great it was he would just make a girl who loved it from the start. Instead of hinting that she would look sexy with red hair he would just make sure his next (and last) girlfriend had red hair. She would be everything he always wanted because he would make her that way. This really was perfect.
And really he had trained for this his entire life. He was an award winning sculptor after all. A reviewer once said, "There is nothing this man can't do with clay." NOTHING. Read it again. NOTHING. So truly, this was just the culmination of a lifetime of study and training. It would have been a crime against art not to put it all to good use.
Really what else could he have done?
He spent weeks sculpting her. Making sure everything about her was perfect. Referencing anatomy books along with the spell book to make sure every step of the way he did everything right, adding a few drops of his blood to the clay as he worked it and molded it. Long legs. Round hips. A firm ass. Well, of course it was firm right now, it was made of clay, but he wanted to make sure it would stay round and firm once she was animated as well. Not that he was shallow, that wasn't it at all, but he knew that she would want to look good. Women, right?
Anyway...
He spent hours on her. Making her his perfect ideal. He even took the red wig he bought in to a stylist and had it cut and styled so she wouldn't look like she had a store bought wig for a hair cut. He really was going all out here. After he finished the sculpting he let the clay cure. That was the hardest part. The waiting. But he needed to paint her before he finished or she would always look like a woman walking out of a mud bath. And though he thought she was gorgeous no matter what he really wanted porcelain skin and green eyes and full red lips. You know, for her. Because women, right?
And finally she was complete. Perfection. From the inside to the outside sculpted and molded and cured and painted and...well she was everything. He finished the incantations needed to bring her to life. Then he waited. It would take up to a week for her to gain full mobility. For the magic to work its way through every part of her. To turn the clay in to movable flesh. For her mind to become active. For her to become aware. He was like a kid at Christmas. He couldn't wait to show her off to his friends. No wait. He meant he couldn't wait for the companionship she would bring. For the joy he was about to experience with his perfect woman.
It was all so simple really. Why hadn't he done it sooner?
And it was perfect. She was perfect. Gorgeous. Smart. Well, smart enough. Who wanted a woman that was smarter than you were, right? She liked the same things he did. She wanted to go to the same places he did. She loved everything about him. And he loved her. It was perfect.
Except for the weird finger nail thing. She chewed nails.
Not hers.
Okay, so that was weird. The first time he caught her eating his finger nail clippings he was a little grossed out, but once he explained to her that she couldn't really do that then it was fine.
Then there was the hair thing. He caught her pulling his hair out of the hairbrush and eating that. Again, just had to explain it wasn't food and she was fine.
Just the quirks of a new relationship right?
But it got harder and harder. He started to notice odd things when they were out in public. She would touch strangers. A lot. They never seemed to mind. She was gorgeous. Nobody minds being touched by a gorgeous woman. But it wasn't just that she would touch them. She would linger. Breathing deeply when people were close to her. Brushing off shoulders. Pulling loose hairs from clothing. Fussing over strangers. And he was pretty sure she was sneaking the loose hairs in to her mouth when he wasn't looking.
"You can't eat a stranger's hair!"
"You said I couldn't eat your hair."
"Hair isn't for eating at all. You eat food. Not hair."
"Why isn't hair food? If I eat it doesn't that make it food?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't."
She pursed those perfect lips at him, "Hmmm...."
Then there was the unfortunate incident at the bar.
He had taken her out to meet his friends. She was a hit. They all loved her. Their girlfriends loved her. How could anybody help but love her? She was perfection. And then Julie walked in. The one that got away. He got up and did the introductions and everything went really well. His new girl meeting his old girl. Things like this happen all the time. It's easy and normal. Just a group of friends out drinking and dancing.
Taking a spin on the dance floor, she was an excellent dancer, he made sure of that. Just sexy and sensuous on the floor, she whispered in his ear, "Did you love her?"
He was a little shocked. She normally only cared about what made him happy, not what he thought about other people. But then he got it, she was jealous. He made her as perfect as he could, but she was still a woman, right?
"A long time ago I thought I did. But she wasn't the right one for me. She's not you."
She looked at Julie sitting at the table with all of their friends then back at him. Green eyes taking in the scene. She pursed her lips. "Hmm..."
He went to get another round for the table. His back to the table he heard the scream but didn't see what happened. As he turned Julie was yelling at him.
Julie was holding her forearm. "Your girlfriend just bit me!"
He looked and saw a dainty hand carefully wiping the corner of her mouth then casually licking the drop of blood off of her finger.
He rushed to the table and pulled her away from everyone. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I guess someone has had too much to drink." He hustled her out of the bar, while everyone was caring for Julie's arm too much in shock to stop them.
"Why would you do that? Biting people isn't okay!"
"But how else would I get her blood? Oh! I could have just cut her open. You are right. I'm so glad I have you. You are always so much more practical than I am."
"NO! That's not what I meant. Blood isn't food. You can't bite people. You can't eat their hair or their fingernails or their blood."
She looked at him with her perfect face and her perfect eyes and smiled with her perfect mouth. Then she laughed, "Silly. Of course I can."
"No, you cannot do that. You cannot do those sorts of things. It's just not normal."
She smiled at him again and then kissed him softly, "Yes, dear."
But he didn't really think she meant it. He made her, but she was still a woman, right?
He called Julie the next day to see how she was. The bite hadn't been all that bad. Just barely broke the skin. The shock of it was more than the bite really. She wasn't going to press charges but she knew he would understand that she never wanted to see his new girl again. Of course he understood, how could he not understand. And yes, that was really odd, and no he had never seen that side of her before but he would keep an eye out for more unusual behavior when she was drinking for sure. Maybe she just needed to stay sober. Julie had laughed at him then, "You can't really control if she stays sober, you know. You are her boyfriend not her father."
"Who were you talking to?"
He jumped. He hadn't noticed her walk in to the room. She was extremely light on her feet for being made of clay. "I called Julie to make sure she was okay. You bit her, remember?"
"Of course I remember."
"And you aren't going to bite anyone else right?"
She smiled at him, that perfect smile, "You shouldn't tell me what to do all the time. You are my boyfriend, not my father."
He was shocked. "Did you hear her say that?"
"Who?"
"Julie. She just said that to me."
"Well that makes sense."
And then she walked out of the room.
Makes sense? How did that make sense? There was nothing about that that made sense. Women, right?
He watched her closer when they were in public. He tried to make sure she didn't hurt anyone else. Then he got the email. It was an answer to a Craigslist ad. She had placed an ad offering to bite someone. And people were responding. "What is this? Why would you do this?"
"I don't have my own email address and so I used yours."
"No! Not using my email. Placing the ad. You cannot bite people."
"But they want to be bitten. They like it."
"They like it? Have you done this before? Have you been using my email when I'm not here?"
"It's okay. They like it. You said I couldn't, but I know you meant I couldn't without asking."
She patted his hand and walked out of the room.
He followed her in to the bedroom. "Look, I know we try not to mention this, but you have to listen to me. I made you. That's the rule."
She cocked her head to the side, "Rules are important."
He tried to get her to explain what she meant by that but she wouldn't do anything else but smile. Then she kissed him and went to bed. Without sex.
Rules are important. He made her to always want to please him. He didn't make her to argue with him. He made her. He might be her boyfriend and not her father but he was her creator. And that's what she was created for. She was perfection. That's why he made her. He paced back and forth agitated.
Finally he went to his studio. Sometimes he could calm his mind by working the clay. He hadn't actually sculpted anything since bringing her to life. It seemed at the time that he would never be able to top himself so why would he bother. But he needed his art. He realized that now.
He cleared a work space where he could start throwing a new piece of clay. Underneath an open anatomy book he found the spell he had used to call her forth. He ran his fingers over the page. So simple...some clay, some water, some blood, a piece of bone and...
He went back to reading the spell. Clay, water, blood and bone? Bone? He looked closer at the book and could see a smudge of brown over the part where it called for bone. There must have been a piece of clay that stuck to the page. He just didn't ever see that part. But it worked anyway. She was alive. She was his. She was perfect. Bone. Why bone? It wasn't needed. You could see that.
He read over the spell again and again. He should have added a piece of bone to her core when he was sculpting her. How would he have even done that? It's not like he just had spare bones he could have added. The blood was simple. A prick of his finger and a few drops added in. But bone? Ridiculous. It was probably only in the spell to scare people from trying it in the first place. Obviously it wasn't needed. Obviously. He was worried over nothing. He had done it. She was perfect. So they had a fight. He hadn't made her to argue, but he had made her a woman so there were bound to be disagreements. Women, right?
But the Craigslist ads. And she had gone to bed without having sex with him. Not that that part was the important part, the ads, that was the part he was really worried about. But seriously, she hadn't even offered.
He was at the end of his rope. What was he supposed to do now?
Google. He opened the laptop he kept in the studio.
"Why won't my golem behave?"
It was supposed to be a joke. But it came back with over 1,000 hits.
He ended up reading a FAQ on golem creation.
"Why is my golem eating hair?"
Who knew this was a common problem?
He found out that he had really fucked up. The bone was important. If he had been making a standard golem, one to crush his enemies or plow his fields the bone wouldn't have mattered. But he tried making an advanced golem (again, who knew?) and making it female. Males are made from dust. Women being stronger stuff are made from bone. It was what would have nurtured her and tied her to him.
Because he hadn't she tried doing it on her own, finger nails, hair, parts of him. When he told her no she had to search for it from the outside. Because he left out the bone she would never be totally his.
Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh.
And if he didn't undo this now the flesh of my flesh was going to get much much worse. The ads on Craigslist were just the start. Linked stories of cannibalism. Failed golems. Either the blood or the bone or both missing from the spell. While he was reading she came in to the room.
"I wanted to apologize for arguing earlier. I brought you something to eat."
He knew what he had to do. Without turning around to look at her he started saying the spell in reverse. Undoing what he had done. The clay drying. Her "life" fading away. When he heard the plate she was carrying hit the floor he knew she was gone. He turned slowly and saw as she started to crumble in to dust. Broken glass on the floor. A sliced apple spilled across the tiles.
He started to laugh. Adam and Eve were the first golems. And from the start Eve didn't do what she was supposed to. Women, right?
Okay, maybe he didn't just find the spell but actively looked for it. But still...
Maybe if he hadn't just had the worst break up of his life. Maybe if all of his friends hadn't been settling down with perfect women. Maybe if the one that got away, the one that he always thought he would end up back together with hadn't just gotten engaged. Maybe if all of those things hadn't happened he wouldn't have done it.
Except he had been fascinated by the idea of making the perfect woman for as long as he could remember. To have someone who thought you were fascinating. Who liked the same things you did. Who wanted to do the same things you wanted to do. Who looked just like you wanted them to. Who acted just like you wanted them to.
So when his last girlfriend left him with the parting shot of, "I hope someday you find the girl you have been trying to make me in to." He realized that she was right. That's what he needed to do. Instead of buying his girlfriend books of Star Trek fan fiction hoping she would finally see how great it was he would just make a girl who loved it from the start. Instead of hinting that she would look sexy with red hair he would just make sure his next (and last) girlfriend had red hair. She would be everything he always wanted because he would make her that way. This really was perfect.
And really he had trained for this his entire life. He was an award winning sculptor after all. A reviewer once said, "There is nothing this man can't do with clay." NOTHING. Read it again. NOTHING. So truly, this was just the culmination of a lifetime of study and training. It would have been a crime against art not to put it all to good use.
Really what else could he have done?
He spent weeks sculpting her. Making sure everything about her was perfect. Referencing anatomy books along with the spell book to make sure every step of the way he did everything right, adding a few drops of his blood to the clay as he worked it and molded it. Long legs. Round hips. A firm ass. Well, of course it was firm right now, it was made of clay, but he wanted to make sure it would stay round and firm once she was animated as well. Not that he was shallow, that wasn't it at all, but he knew that she would want to look good. Women, right?
Anyway...
He spent hours on her. Making her his perfect ideal. He even took the red wig he bought in to a stylist and had it cut and styled so she wouldn't look like she had a store bought wig for a hair cut. He really was going all out here. After he finished the sculpting he let the clay cure. That was the hardest part. The waiting. But he needed to paint her before he finished or she would always look like a woman walking out of a mud bath. And though he thought she was gorgeous no matter what he really wanted porcelain skin and green eyes and full red lips. You know, for her. Because women, right?
And finally she was complete. Perfection. From the inside to the outside sculpted and molded and cured and painted and...well she was everything. He finished the incantations needed to bring her to life. Then he waited. It would take up to a week for her to gain full mobility. For the magic to work its way through every part of her. To turn the clay in to movable flesh. For her mind to become active. For her to become aware. He was like a kid at Christmas. He couldn't wait to show her off to his friends. No wait. He meant he couldn't wait for the companionship she would bring. For the joy he was about to experience with his perfect woman.
It was all so simple really. Why hadn't he done it sooner?
And it was perfect. She was perfect. Gorgeous. Smart. Well, smart enough. Who wanted a woman that was smarter than you were, right? She liked the same things he did. She wanted to go to the same places he did. She loved everything about him. And he loved her. It was perfect.
Except for the weird finger nail thing. She chewed nails.
Not hers.
Okay, so that was weird. The first time he caught her eating his finger nail clippings he was a little grossed out, but once he explained to her that she couldn't really do that then it was fine.
Then there was the hair thing. He caught her pulling his hair out of the hairbrush and eating that. Again, just had to explain it wasn't food and she was fine.
Just the quirks of a new relationship right?
But it got harder and harder. He started to notice odd things when they were out in public. She would touch strangers. A lot. They never seemed to mind. She was gorgeous. Nobody minds being touched by a gorgeous woman. But it wasn't just that she would touch them. She would linger. Breathing deeply when people were close to her. Brushing off shoulders. Pulling loose hairs from clothing. Fussing over strangers. And he was pretty sure she was sneaking the loose hairs in to her mouth when he wasn't looking.
"You can't eat a stranger's hair!"
"You said I couldn't eat your hair."
"Hair isn't for eating at all. You eat food. Not hair."
"Why isn't hair food? If I eat it doesn't that make it food?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't."
She pursed those perfect lips at him, "Hmmm...."
Then there was the unfortunate incident at the bar.
He had taken her out to meet his friends. She was a hit. They all loved her. Their girlfriends loved her. How could anybody help but love her? She was perfection. And then Julie walked in. The one that got away. He got up and did the introductions and everything went really well. His new girl meeting his old girl. Things like this happen all the time. It's easy and normal. Just a group of friends out drinking and dancing.
Taking a spin on the dance floor, she was an excellent dancer, he made sure of that. Just sexy and sensuous on the floor, she whispered in his ear, "Did you love her?"
He was a little shocked. She normally only cared about what made him happy, not what he thought about other people. But then he got it, she was jealous. He made her as perfect as he could, but she was still a woman, right?
"A long time ago I thought I did. But she wasn't the right one for me. She's not you."
She looked at Julie sitting at the table with all of their friends then back at him. Green eyes taking in the scene. She pursed her lips. "Hmm..."
He went to get another round for the table. His back to the table he heard the scream but didn't see what happened. As he turned Julie was yelling at him.
Julie was holding her forearm. "Your girlfriend just bit me!"
He looked and saw a dainty hand carefully wiping the corner of her mouth then casually licking the drop of blood off of her finger.
He rushed to the table and pulled her away from everyone. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I guess someone has had too much to drink." He hustled her out of the bar, while everyone was caring for Julie's arm too much in shock to stop them.
"Why would you do that? Biting people isn't okay!"
"But how else would I get her blood? Oh! I could have just cut her open. You are right. I'm so glad I have you. You are always so much more practical than I am."
"NO! That's not what I meant. Blood isn't food. You can't bite people. You can't eat their hair or their fingernails or their blood."
She looked at him with her perfect face and her perfect eyes and smiled with her perfect mouth. Then she laughed, "Silly. Of course I can."
"No, you cannot do that. You cannot do those sorts of things. It's just not normal."
She smiled at him again and then kissed him softly, "Yes, dear."
But he didn't really think she meant it. He made her, but she was still a woman, right?
He called Julie the next day to see how she was. The bite hadn't been all that bad. Just barely broke the skin. The shock of it was more than the bite really. She wasn't going to press charges but she knew he would understand that she never wanted to see his new girl again. Of course he understood, how could he not understand. And yes, that was really odd, and no he had never seen that side of her before but he would keep an eye out for more unusual behavior when she was drinking for sure. Maybe she just needed to stay sober. Julie had laughed at him then, "You can't really control if she stays sober, you know. You are her boyfriend not her father."
"Who were you talking to?"
He jumped. He hadn't noticed her walk in to the room. She was extremely light on her feet for being made of clay. "I called Julie to make sure she was okay. You bit her, remember?"
"Of course I remember."
"And you aren't going to bite anyone else right?"
She smiled at him, that perfect smile, "You shouldn't tell me what to do all the time. You are my boyfriend, not my father."
He was shocked. "Did you hear her say that?"
"Who?"
"Julie. She just said that to me."
"Well that makes sense."
And then she walked out of the room.
Makes sense? How did that make sense? There was nothing about that that made sense. Women, right?
He watched her closer when they were in public. He tried to make sure she didn't hurt anyone else. Then he got the email. It was an answer to a Craigslist ad. She had placed an ad offering to bite someone. And people were responding. "What is this? Why would you do this?"
"I don't have my own email address and so I used yours."
"No! Not using my email. Placing the ad. You cannot bite people."
"But they want to be bitten. They like it."
"They like it? Have you done this before? Have you been using my email when I'm not here?"
"It's okay. They like it. You said I couldn't, but I know you meant I couldn't without asking."
She patted his hand and walked out of the room.
He followed her in to the bedroom. "Look, I know we try not to mention this, but you have to listen to me. I made you. That's the rule."
She cocked her head to the side, "Rules are important."
He tried to get her to explain what she meant by that but she wouldn't do anything else but smile. Then she kissed him and went to bed. Without sex.
Rules are important. He made her to always want to please him. He didn't make her to argue with him. He made her. He might be her boyfriend and not her father but he was her creator. And that's what she was created for. She was perfection. That's why he made her. He paced back and forth agitated.
Finally he went to his studio. Sometimes he could calm his mind by working the clay. He hadn't actually sculpted anything since bringing her to life. It seemed at the time that he would never be able to top himself so why would he bother. But he needed his art. He realized that now.
He cleared a work space where he could start throwing a new piece of clay. Underneath an open anatomy book he found the spell he had used to call her forth. He ran his fingers over the page. So simple...some clay, some water, some blood, a piece of bone and...
He went back to reading the spell. Clay, water, blood and bone? Bone? He looked closer at the book and could see a smudge of brown over the part where it called for bone. There must have been a piece of clay that stuck to the page. He just didn't ever see that part. But it worked anyway. She was alive. She was his. She was perfect. Bone. Why bone? It wasn't needed. You could see that.
He read over the spell again and again. He should have added a piece of bone to her core when he was sculpting her. How would he have even done that? It's not like he just had spare bones he could have added. The blood was simple. A prick of his finger and a few drops added in. But bone? Ridiculous. It was probably only in the spell to scare people from trying it in the first place. Obviously it wasn't needed. Obviously. He was worried over nothing. He had done it. She was perfect. So they had a fight. He hadn't made her to argue, but he had made her a woman so there were bound to be disagreements. Women, right?
But the Craigslist ads. And she had gone to bed without having sex with him. Not that that part was the important part, the ads, that was the part he was really worried about. But seriously, she hadn't even offered.
He was at the end of his rope. What was he supposed to do now?
Google. He opened the laptop he kept in the studio.
"Why won't my golem behave?"
It was supposed to be a joke. But it came back with over 1,000 hits.
He ended up reading a FAQ on golem creation.
"Why is my golem eating hair?"
Who knew this was a common problem?
He found out that he had really fucked up. The bone was important. If he had been making a standard golem, one to crush his enemies or plow his fields the bone wouldn't have mattered. But he tried making an advanced golem (again, who knew?) and making it female. Males are made from dust. Women being stronger stuff are made from bone. It was what would have nurtured her and tied her to him.
Because he hadn't she tried doing it on her own, finger nails, hair, parts of him. When he told her no she had to search for it from the outside. Because he left out the bone she would never be totally his.
Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh.
And if he didn't undo this now the flesh of my flesh was going to get much much worse. The ads on Craigslist were just the start. Linked stories of cannibalism. Failed golems. Either the blood or the bone or both missing from the spell. While he was reading she came in to the room.
"I wanted to apologize for arguing earlier. I brought you something to eat."
He knew what he had to do. Without turning around to look at her he started saying the spell in reverse. Undoing what he had done. The clay drying. Her "life" fading away. When he heard the plate she was carrying hit the floor he knew she was gone. He turned slowly and saw as she started to crumble in to dust. Broken glass on the floor. A sliced apple spilled across the tiles.
He started to laugh. Adam and Eve were the first golems. And from the start Eve didn't do what she was supposed to. Women, right?
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