First we mock

Let me start out by saying I have a wonderful kid. I just do. I know all parents feel that way, but in my case it's true. ;-) I am extremely proud of him. He is smart and funny and kind and has the most unique mind of anyone I know. So now you know this blog is going to be a brag book about him, but also will have two of the funniest stories from some pretty rough times in his school career.

I am not the world's best mother in that traditional mom sort of way. I don't do things like June Cleaver. I just never have. I really thought I would when I was pregnant. I had all of these great plans of being that mom that took him to play groups and did "enrichment" exercises with him and would always feed him healthy home baked meals and we would go to the park and I would let him join all of the clubs and groups and Brent and I would be the cool parents. I believed all of this. I really did.

The only thing I didn't take in to consideration while making these plans was that I am not that person. When I was a kid I would head out on my bike to a grove of trees near the house and pull out a book and sit and read. For hours. I am not an active person, I am a book worm. I am not a cook my favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. I am not an overly social person, I am a loner by nature. I like people well enough, in short doses and only if they are fun, smart and not needy. So you can see how my plans of an active social health food eating kid fell apart pretty quickly.

So I went on my way of being a mom to Christopher in my own unique way. No baby talk. No letting him win at games. No ignoring his questions no matter what they were he got an answer. Reading was a must, I read to him, Brent read to him, he read to us and to himself. McDonald's Playland was his park. We have pictures of him playing video games with his dad before he was even 2 years old (granted his controller wasn't plugged in, he thought he was the computer). But all of this bad parenting worked out and he is a great kid.

But that is not to say he has always had an easy time of it. He is brilliant. For those that know him know that I am not exaggerating when I say that. He has always been brilliant and when you combine that with the fact that we never treated him like a little kid with the baby talk and dumbing down of conversations he had a really hard time relating to kids his own age when he was younger. So for a stretch in elementary school and the first year in middle school before Summa was created we were dealing with hurt feelings and frustration on almost a daily basis when he would come home from school. I was trying really hard to instill in him a sense of self that was strong enough to not be effected by what other people thought. When he would come home after getting in to an argument with some kid at school I would tell him things like "the only person you have control over is yourself" and "you are a Mastenbrook we are stronger than that". But apparently my words on other subjects were carrying more weight than those.

One day I got a phone call from school about an altercation he had in class with a fellow student. Don't ask me exactly what it was about, because I don't remember the details, but it was enough for the call home. I picked up Christopher from school and he was in big trouble and he knew it, so begins the lecture. Seems that this kid had done something or said something that made Christopher mad so the argument started. I asked Christopher what I always say (hoping for a phrase on control, or self image) and through tears he spits out..."First we mock" I had about 5 seconds of silence before I just fell out. I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face. Well, yes, sweetie, that's true, if someone is being an idiot first we mock. And mock he did. Which led to the fight. Oops. So I had to revise this to wait to mock at home. :-) But "first we mock" became sort of short hand for a joke.

The second time that his quicker wit got him in trouble but made me laugh (more bad mom stuff, the laughing at inappropriate times) was in middle school. There was one kid that he clashed with all of the time. One day in class they are sitting in a group together, classes had table tops so 3 or 4 kids would sit together in a group, and they start in on each other. This kid is trying to be the tough guy and be a punk ass to Christopher. Just digging at him, well Christopher is seeing the humor in what he is saying and is throwing it back at him. The other kids at the table are laughing, not at Christopher like the jerk wants, but with Christopher laughing at the jerk. So this kid toughs up and says, "You want to step out into the hallway?" and Christopher says, "Why? Are you going to be funnier out there?" Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard when he told me this I thought I was going to pass out. That's a brilliant line! Now the giant black and blue mark on Christopher's shin where the punk ass kicked him after he said it wasn't nearly as brilliant, but I was still impressed with the boy child.

Now he's 17 and much more in control of his temper and impatience. He has learned how to hold his tongue in a situation where a mocking tone wouldn't be appreciated, but has held on to his wit. He is also extremely kind and generous and really is a good kid, growing in to a good man. Brent and I both couldn't be prouder of not only what he has accomplished in his schooling, academics and music alike, but also in his confidence and the comfort in his own skin. Next year I will watch him head off to college to expand his horizons and hopefully meet someone wonderful to share his life with and pass on to their children such nuggets of wisdom like...First we mock.