Over the past year at least a half a dozen of my friends have had babies or are expecting babies. Just this past week there was the late arrival of one adorable little girl and the unexpected 3 1/2 week early arrival of the cutest little boy born in California in a long time! Every time a friend announces that a first baby is on the way or posts pictures of their little one I just smile. Life as they know it has just changed. And there is no way to explain it, you just have to experience it.
Brent and I always say Christopher was born after the longest pregnancy in human history. We got married at 18 and at least 3/4 of the guests at the wedding were eyeballing me to see how far along I was. I mean, who gets married at 18 unless there is a baby on the way? Well, Brent and I did. And then we waited until Brent got shore duty before we decided to have any children. So we were about as ready as two married people can be. We had been married for 5 years, we planned, we waited, we read everything and planned for everything and pretty much got as set as we could before Christopher was born. And yet, I still sat on the couch holding him the first day home from the hospital wondering why they let ME take him home. I had NO clue what I was doing!
We had a little trial by fire his first few weeks. He was born on Saturday morning and my milk didn't come in until Wednesday so all of our best laid plans for breast feeding went out the window by Monday as he was literally starving. He had an exceedingly high bilirubin level so we spent a lot of time going back for blood tests to make sure he was getting better. And it was heart-wrenching for both of us. The only way to get the blood to test was to jab his little foot for a sample. Which of course made him scream which then made me cry. I felt like the biggest failure ever. I couldn't feed him, I kept bringing him for tests that made him cry, I was pretty sure I was already the worst mother ever. And it wasn't any easier for Brent. He is an only child and really was relying on me to know what to do as I had at least been around my nephews when they were born. And I was falling apart in the hallway of the doctor's office while our baby screamed behind the door.
But all of that went by quickly and within the first few weeks after switching to formula he started putting on weight and his levels went down and we found a routine of sorts. Though those first few months are all a blur. I have never been so tired in my life. I am eternally grateful that I was able to be a stay at home mother. I cannot even imagine what my fellow moms who have to go back to work at 6 weeks go through. I can remember waking up one night and panicking because I had lost Christopher in the bed. He was fussing to be fed and changed and I was busy patting all over the bed looking for him and getting more and more frightened before waking up enough to remember he was in his crib. The level of exhaustion is amazing.
At the time Brent was doing rotating shift work so he was able to take the middle of the night feeding shift during two of his shifts and that made all the difference in the world. It's amazing what an uninterrupted block of 5 hours in bed can do for you! But there were still days that a shower was out of the question and forget wearing anything other than sweatpants for the first few months. It just wasn't going to happen. The hair was sacrificed at 6 months with the realization that the time it takes to care for hair down to your butt was long gone!
Babies are work. Anyone who tells you differently is either lying or not raising their own kids. But it's work that is so worth it. There is nothing like the feeling of a baby in your arms. Looking at that face knowing you are responsible for another life is the most overwhelming feeling ever, but it's mostly an overwhelming feeling of love. It will change you and shape you in ways that you didn't think possible. More love, more protective feelings, more of everything.
When Christopher was probably 6 months old we were at the mall shopping and Brent was playing goofy baby games with him. Parents know these games, some noise or face tickles your child and makes them giggle so you must do it over and over just to hear that sweet laugh. Well Brent is doing this with Christopher and I look over and see two young sailors just staring at him. These two were students of his and had never seen Petty Officer Mastenbrook laugh let alone make googly faces at a baby! I laughed so hard at that.
So for those who have had babies in the past year, welcome to the club! And for my friends that are expecting right now, either their first or their fourth or any in-between, welcome to the new adventure! It's going to be such a great year for you! I can't wait for the pictures!
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