Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The First Thanksgiving...

The first Thanksgiving was the year of the burnt offering. Neither of them had any idea how to cook a turkey but both vaguely remembered their mothers putting the bird in the oven around 5 AM to eat dinner around 3. That seemed right. Until around 11 AM when the house filled with smoke and the burnt bird had to be tossed in the sink and drowned.

The second Thanksgiving was the year of the turkeysicle. They had pulled the bird from the freezer on Tuesday night assuming it would be fine by Thursday. It wasn't. But that was okay, the oven would defrost it as it cooked, and the ice would make it extra moist right? They cooked that bird for ever and it never was anything but cold and raw in the middle.

The third Thanksgiving was during the vegetarian year and they made Tofurkey. They weren't saying that it was the Tofurkey that made them go back to eating meat, but they aren't saying it wasn't either.

The fourth Thanksgiving was two weeks after their first child was born. They went out to dinner. It was delicious but there were no leftovers so they decided that wouldn't work next year.

The fifth Thanksgiving was the nausea Thanksgiving. She couldn't be pregnant again, she was breast feeding, everyone knew that breastfeeding was like natural birth control. Everyone was wrong.

The sixth Thanksgiving started the beige years. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, bread, cover it all in gravy. Not a green vegetable to be found. They were always going to add more in to the mix but the kids wouldn't eat it anyway. So everything was beige.

The tenth Thanksgiving was the year they decided to skip the hassle of Christmas travel and go home for Thanksgiving instead. "Oh Thanksgiving is the worst of the travel holidays," her mother had declared in that way she had of saying things that would have been helpful BEFORE but not at all NOW.

The eleventh Thanksgiving was back to beige.

The fifteenth Thanksgiving the kids started to help cook. And vegetables made an appearance back on the table. If they cooked them, they would eat them. Who knew?

The twenty-fourth Thanksgiving was the serious girlfriend I think she might be the one don't do anything to embarrass me Thanksgiving. "I'm thankful that Bobby is finally getting laid and isn't such an asshole when he visits from college." Well, that didn't work Thanksgiving.

The thirtieth Thanksgiving was the first one at the kid's house. Bobby and his serious girlfriend, now wife, hosted and they didn't need to bring a thing. Julie brought her not at all serious boyfriend with the nose ring just to make things interesting. Her father taught him how to play the bass line to Back in Black. Julie's not at all serious boyfriend never made an appearance again, he turned out to be not as interesting as she had hoped.

The thirty first Thanksgiving was back at Bobby's house with the new baby. This time they were allowed to help out as much as possible. Even Julie who brought Becky. A new interesting person in her life. Becky was much better than the not at all serious boyfriend of the year before.

The fortieth Thanksgiving was at Julie and Becky's house. Bobby and the very serious wife brought their two kids and they watched Julie and Becky's two kids. And everyone ate beige food.

The fiftieth Thanksgiving was the first one where they weren't a they anymore. It was just a her. She went to Bobby's house. She tried to be thankful.

The sixtieth Thanksgiving was crowded with children, grand children and great grandchildren. She hadn't brought anything but her stories. The stories about the first Thanksgiving and the year of the burnt offering.

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