Thursday, June 25, 2015

Still a work in progress...

A few years ago I wrote this really enlightened blog about being kinder to myself and realizing that I look fine. And how I was going to do better at it and all of that good stuff.

And I realized today that you never hear about that from me. You hear about me saying my workouts are frustrating because I'm not making the improvements I want. You hear me talk about dieting and the frustration in finding that balance between the incredibly strict diet plan I would need to follow to stay at a low weight and the enjoyment I get from eating the way I want to eat. But I haven't said that I still try to be kind to myself and flattering to myself.

I do. I still try to practice that. Some days are easier than others, I will give you that, for sure. But I still try to make sure I smile at myself in the mirror. I still try to make sure I wear clothes that make me feel pretty. I still try to give myself the compliment I would give to other people. And today is a working on it day so you get pictures and examples.

Why is it a working on it day? The workout and diet frustrations I talked about earlier. I have two big old zits that are making me insane. I'm almost 47 years old for fucks sake I shouldn't have gray hair, wrinkles and zits. So when I realized that I was doing the harumph harumph harumph I took a deep breath and started in on the positives.

See those shadows? Those are muscles. I'm not flexing here, that's just lifting up my arm and I can actually see muscle differentiation. And that flare out at the side? More muscle.  My arms and lats are coming along nicely. 

See that arch? I really like my eyebrows. I couldn't be half as sarcastic as I am if my eyebrows didn't do this wicked arch.

Okay, this one needs a longer explanation because it's kind of a plus and a minus shot. I wanted to get the full skirt in as well as the shirt. I love a swishy skirt. You all know that. And this is one of my favorite shirts. I call it my Greek Goddess shirt. See the straps and the way they twist? It's very Greek to me, and the color reminds me of green goddess salad dressing so it's my Greek Goddess shirt. And it's also quite flattering for my figure. Which is where the minus of this shot comes in. I tend to take shots from angles where my curves are downplayed. The eyebrow shot above? It was cropped to get just the eyebrow but the whole shot shows a lot of cleavage. It's not something I would generally show. Even though I rock a lot of cleavage usually. My friends tease me about the accidental cleavage shot all the time because I will crop and turn and angle to make sure that the first thing you see in a shot ISN'T my boobs. So I downplay them. But the truth is I love my big boobs. They are lovely. They flatter my big hips and my big butt. They give me balance. And they rock in my Greek Goddess shirt.

So there is a front shot of the shirt. Big boobs and all. And it shows the full curve of my figure. Big boobs to the smaller waist that flares back out to the not as small hips. The same curve goes on from the side. I have no angles, I am just a collection of curves stuck together. And that's perfect for me. I'm built for comfort not for speed and that suits me just fine. 

Work in progress. Someday the positive self talk days will be the only self talk days. I'm sure of it. But until then I will keep reminding myself that...

I'm good enough, I'm smart enough...and doggone it...people like me. 

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