Wednesday, April 29, 2015

My life in click bait...

Imagine if your life were described in internet headlines. What would it look like? Here are some of my highlights from the past couple of days:

Woman hits Starbucks where it HURTS!!!
(I used a $2 off  drink coupon this morning)

Anti-environmentalist asks GOTCHA question...what this woman does in response will INSPIRE you!
("Paper or plastic?" "Oh, no thanks, I don't need a bag for that.")

Woman discovers TIME MACHINE! See if it will work for you!
(I listened to an 80s playlist at the gym this morning)

Woman shows Fox News EXACTLY what she thinks of them!
(I rolled my eyes and went back to watching SportsCenter)

Portland Winterhawks using VOODOO to win home games? We will let you decide...
(I always wear my red shirt first in a home series and you know, we won, so yeah...)

Could this SIMPLE symbol be the key to international peace??
(I posted a heart emoticon on a South African friend's status this morning)

Woman discovers SECRET of extra likes on photos. We think it will work for you!
( Opened my Facebook feed saw a new profile picture of a friend and Woah! That's a lot of cleavage! *like*)

Was it skin cancer? What this woman does will ASTONISH you!
(Saw a weird black spot on my arm, realized it was a mini-chocolate chip from the cookies I was making so I picked it up and ate it)

Is this the secret to keeping a marriage HOT?
(I brought Brent his knit hat for the game last night)

A half hour and two and half miles later and she ends up exactly where she started. How is this possible?? The answer will AMAZE you!

Discover the SECRET to maintaining online friendships!
(typed a response on math and percentages versus raw numbers and racism in the media and confirmation bias and then deleted it)

Woman DESTROYS tomato lobbyists! 
(put mustard on my hot dog)

Woman discovers SECRET to HAPPINESS. Try her trick and see if it works for you! 
(I hide all stories from websites I know are full of shit)

Amuse yourself for HOURS with this one EASY habit!
(sometimes I pretend everything I do can be summed up in a clickbait headline)

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