We are going to Michigan next weekend. Planned it ages ago. Going to visit with family and see a football game. Which at the time we planned it sounded better than it does now. It's Michigan Football, it's a night game, which we've never done, and we get to tailgate with family. The family part is still great...the rest...well...The feelings about Michigan Football have gone from dismayed after the first loss we shouldn't have had, to distraught over the drubbing we took that broke the record for most consecutive games without a shut out, to disgust after last Saturday. The coach should have been fired. My opinion. The AD should have followed close behind. Also my opinion. But it's not one I am alone in having. If it was your kid at school "I didn't see the hit" would not be acceptable...It's your damn job to see the hit, or at least have someone who can tell you THE KID HAS A CONCUSSION PULL HIM THE FUCK OUT OF THE GAME... anyway...
So I was talking to C this morning for his birthday and we started talking about the trip. And I said, "all things considered it could still be really interesting to be there. I mean, it's going to be ugly, but to be in the belly of the beast while all of this is going on? Could be pretty cool." And he replied, "Yeah but you find life to be interesting."
And I had to laugh. Because it's true. I do. I find it all to be so fascinating. Why are people doing what they are doing? What are they thinking? How are they feeling? And it IS all so interesting! People are doing their thing for a variety of reasons. And there is a good chance a part of it will make absolutely no sense to you.
Watching people freak out about Ebola right now. We know how it's transmitted. It's a really specific way. And yet, people say, "Oh what about everyone that was on the plane!" "What if I walked by him?" "How fast is it going to get here?" And part of me is super frustrated. I want to tell them how dumb they are. And part of me is super interested. How can you just block out what you are hearing about transmission and contagion and still be running around scared?
And I also have discovered that I am much happier in my life when I remember to be fascinated and interested in what people are doing. Especially instead of frustrated. There is someone in the periphery of my friend group who is a topper. No matter what story you tell they can top it. Bigger. Worse. Better. Whatever, they can top it. I got so frustrated that I dropped them off of my Facebook friend list. I couldn't stand it anymore. When someone is experiencing a loss; a pet, a family member, a relationship, the appropriate thing is to offer condolences, offer support. Not tell a "my life is worse" story. Now she is still around, still posting on friend's things. But what I've tried to do is make sure I look at it as a sort of psychology experiment. Can she really take this random post and make it about her? And look at that skill level! And I've applied that to others who have the absolute skill to turn random things into things about them. As long as I stay fascinated I don't get frustrated.
And there you go...it dove tails right in to my main life philosophy. Choose to be happy. Being interested in the world and fascinated with the people in it keeps me happy. Reminding myself that you can't blame a dog for chasing cars keeps me even keel. The only thing I have control over in life is my attitude about it. So go on ahead doing dumb things, making things all about you, not firing the coach and the AD when you should have, I will find it all so very interesting.
And then I will write a blog....