Thursday, July 17, 2014

Faraway friends...

I posted this morning on my Facebook feed about this guy I have seen lately. He sits by the side of the road with his camera and his binoculars. I am sure he's watching and photographing birds. But it's fun to speculate what he might be doing otherwise. But anyway...when I see him I think of a friend of mine who lives in Canada who photographs birds. Actually he photographs a lot of things, but he is on a bird kick right now. So when I would see this guy sitting in his lounge chair with his camera on the tripod in-front of him waiting for the birds I would think of my friend in Canada. Then this morning he was joined by a woman with binoculars, I am guessing his wife. Which made me think of friends of mine in Indiana who are a married couple and avid bird watchers.

That's the thing with online friends you might not "see" them face to face daily but you can "see" them in a lot of other ways.

Last night a friend of mine from Arizona sent me a message asking me to tell the Universe to hush up since you all know the Universe and I spend a lot of time talking. I told her it didn't work like that. The Universe is like a drunk at a party. If you try and ignore it, it just keeps getting louder.

Another friend of mine who lives in another part of Canada than the bird photographer is one of those guys that just doesn't get bugged by things. Shit comes and shit goes, but he just moves along. Usually. Except he reached his point this week where he had had enough and needed to recharge. So he went to the river. Posted that sometimes all you need in life is a book, a river and a rock to sit on. And then today he posted a picture of himself by the river, relaxed and smiling again.

And I thought. I need to go to the river.

Really I need a trip to beach, but the river will do.

I've posted before that I don't get embarrassed easily. I just don't. Usually when something happens that would or should be completely embarrassing my first thought is "Wait until so and so hears about this!" Because it's funny. I had one today that should have made me want to duck and run but instead I couldn't wait to go tell some friends who I knew would appreciate the story. Because it was funny, and funny trumps all.

Last weekend I saw I post on Facebook, it was one of those picture posts. A closed book with the line, We all have stories we don't tell. I nodded as I read it and then read people's comments. Opening up and telling things about themselves that they normally wouldn't. Their issues. Which you all know all of mine. I post about them. I take them out and look at them then put them back away. It's my way of dealing with them. Weight, boredom, lack of direction, issues.

But you know what's awful? When you think you don't have an issue, or are at least over it and you find out you aren't.

And here is where we tie all of those random paragraphs together.

I had something happen last week that truly bothered me. Deeply. And on a couple of levels. The first because it was embarrassing and the second because it shouldn't have been. Not just because it never should have happened, but because I should be over such things by now. But I'm not. I just haven't had to deal with them since I was much younger so I had no idea it was still lurking there in my psyche. And it has put me in an off mood for almost a week because of it. And I kept trying to ignore it, up to and including telling myself over and over to let it go. Grow up and get over it.

Instead I just need to acknowledge not just that yes it bugs me deeply but that it's okay that it does. It doesn't matter why or what or how come, it just is, and that's okay. I'm not going to get more detailed, we all have stories we don't tell, but I just wanted to say that yes the Universe shouts when you ignore it. And friends don't have to be close enough to touch to touch you.

So thank you, Dana, for reminding me that when the Universe is talking I need to listen because it's not going to stop. And thank you, Kevin, for reminding me that sometimes what you need is a river, a book and a rock to sit on and then to let the river just wash it away...

It's a bench not a rock, but it worked just fine.

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