Promises Made (Part 5)...

Greg reached across the table and took Helena's hand in his.

"Happy Valentine's Day. Thank you for spending it with me."

Helena smiled and looked deeply in to his eyes, "I wouldn't have had it any other way. You've become very special to me."

Greg swallowed slowly, "You are just so beautiful. You know that right? I have never met anyone like you. You just take my breath away."

Helena tilted her head slightly, "You have the holiday tomorrow right?"

Greg could only nod. His mouth suddenly dry.

"Would you like to stay the night at my place?"

He had never signaled a waiter, payed a check or hailed a cab so fast in his life.

When they got in to the cab Helena kissed him. It might as well have been the first time he had ever been kissed. He realized that she had been holding back from him all of this time. That she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. He wrapped his arms around her and lost himself to her mouth.

*ahem* "Excuse me? We're here. And I would say just in time." The cab was stopped at her apartment. Greg had to laugh. The 15 minute ride had passed in a second. In a kiss.

Helena blushed and said, "I'm sorry. That was probably very inappropriate of us. But..."

The cabby laughed, "It's Valentine's Day. You aren't the first and you won't be the last. You two have a good evening now." And with that he gave them a big wink and drove off.

As Greg walked Helena toward the door he heard singing. He stopped for a second and realized it was the homeless guy, well not homeless, Edward Newsome, singing, well humming and singing. Greg listened for a moment. He just got the tune and was about to place the song when Terry (it was Terry, he knew it was Terry tonight!) opened the door and ushered them in to the building.

"No return cab tonight, Ms. Helena?"

"No thank you, Terry, we won't be needing one." Helena smiled widely and led Greg to the elevator.

Greg felt like a kid on Christmas Eve. He was trying to calm his breathing and at least come across as a little smooth. But it wasn't working. When they stepped in to the elevator and the doors closed he wrapped his arms around her again. Kissing her deeply. Tasting the wine on her tongue.

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Greg let go of Helena and gestured for her to go ahead. He didn't even know her apartment number. Then he turned toward the door and stopped.

The elevator opened in to her living room.

He looked around. "You have a floor? This is all yours?" He was mentally trying to figure out how much an apartment this size in this building would be.

"I do. There are benefits to ownership."

"You own this apartment?"

Helena laughed, "I own this building."

"The building. You own this whole building?"

"I do. Does that matter to you?"

"No, I mean, not really, it's just shocking. I always assumed you were renting a place here. You own a building?"

"I own three buildings actually, I own the building my office is in as well. And another building downtown I have just started renovating for a mixed use property."

"How did you end up with three buildings? I had no idea you were in real estate."

"Some I used to know got me started. Then there were tax implications so it made sense to add some expense which led to the second building. And then the third."

Greg was amazed. "You are very well off."

Helena laughed, "Yes, I am. My family is well off. I was raised with money. I am now making my own. Are you okay? Do you need some time for this to settle in? I know it's sort of a shock. I just don't like to talk about it with people. It seems very rude to bring up."

"Does Tina know?"

"Yes, Tina knows. Shelly knows. Most of my girlfriends know. We just never really talked about money so you didn't. But now you know as well."

Greg was a little shell shocked. She was rich. So gorgeous, smart, funny, kind and rich. And somehow she wanted him.

"Are you okay?"

He took two giant steps across the room to reach her, "I am fine. It's just a lot to take in. My mother used to say that God doesn't give with two hands, but He seems to have just kept giving to you over and over. You are everything."

Helena laughed, "The gods can be very generous when they want to be."

Then she kissed him again and he forgot about everything else except her mouth.

They made their way in to her bedroom. Helena looked in to his eyes and began to unbutton his shirt. "Are you sure you are ready for this? You know how I feel about sex. It's important."

Greg drew a shaky breath, just the feel of the tips of her fingers on his chest was making him crazy, "I am more ready than I ever have been."

"Promise."

He took her hand away from his buttons and kissed it, "Promise."

She finished unbuttoning his shirt and ran her hands over his chest. Everywhere her fingers touched him was like a trail of fire. His skin felt like it was jumping toward her, dying to be the next spot touched. She untied the belt of her dress and unwrapped it from her body. Greg stopped breathing as he looked at her standing there. She was wearing lingerie that was made from blush colored lace so delicate it looked like she was wearing a shadow. He traced his hand down her side. Feeling the curve of her waist and the swell of her hip.

"You are just so..."

He couldn't find any words. But he found he didn't need them.

She helped him finish undressing as they stood kissing by the bed. Then she gently pushed him toward the edge of the bed. He sat. She pushed again and he laid down. Watching her as she undid the clasp of her bra and slid out of it. Even out of the constraints of the bra her breasts were full and round. Tipped with perfect rose bud nipples. She stepped out of the matching panties and walked toward him. He slid back further on the bed to make room for her, but it wasn't necessary, she slid up his body and lay against him.

Her skin was hot and smooth as silk. He couldn't touch all of her quick enough. His hands sliding down the curve of her back. Feeling her shift under his touch. The heat from her building. Matching his own. He thought they might explode. He flipped her over on to her back and leaned up on his elbow just looking at her.

She smiled, "Do you like what you see?"

He shook his head, "Like doesn't cover it."

Then he was lost in her again.

They explored each other with their hands and with their mouths until he couldn't stand it any more. As they moved together he knew he wasn't going to last much longer. She reached a hand up to his cheek turning his head to look in to her eyes, then she placed a hand over his heart. "Promises." She whispered as he came. His whole body shook. Then he collapsed on to her and she wrapped her arms around him. Hands playing up and down his back as he tried to get his breathing back under control. He had never ever felt like that with a woman.

"Wow..." He finally gasped out.

She laughed and he could feel her body move around his. "Wow it is."

"I've never felt like that. I just...I've never."

"You've never been with me before." And she laughed again.

He rolled over and lay next to her looking at her face. "You are amazing."

"You're not so bad yourself."

He could feel his eyes starting to droop and tried to keep them open. She traced her hand down his cheek.

"Shhh....it's okay we've got all night. You can rest now."

He laid down and she put her head on his chest. As he drifted off to sleep the song Edward was humming finally came to him. It was an old 80s song. "You made me...promises, promises..."

Promises Made (part 4)...

Tina answered her phone: "Crazy homeless dude is Edward Newsome."

"And hello to you too, Greg."

"Sorry, I just can't believe it. Crazy homeless dude is Edward Newsome."

"You say that like I'm supposed to know 1.who crazy homeless dude is and 2. who Edward Newsome is." Tina replied to Greg's announcement.

"The crazy guy who sits outside Helena's building. He's really Edward Newsome. Edward Newsome. The real estate mogul? He's worth millions. Her doorman, Charles? James? whatever his name is, her doorman told me."

"Then why is he homeless?"

"He's not! That's what I'm saying. The crazy guy who sits outside on the sidewalk is rich. Like crazy rich. But not crazy crazy."

"I'm still not following you."

"Okay, you know the crazy guy who sits outside of Helena's apartment building?"

"No. So that's our first barrier. I've never seen a crazy guy outside of her building."

"Seriously? How could you miss him? He's there every time I go to pick her up."

"I don't know, maybe he's only there at night. If he's a big time business man he would be busy during the day right? I've only been over to her place for brunch on Sundays and a few times we met before there before going to the movies. Mostly we meet up where we are going."

"Wait? For brunch? So you've been inside her place?"

Tina laughed, "Well yes, she didn't bring the food down to the lobby so Terry and I could eat together. Though she did bring him some muffins as we left to go shopping so that was nice."

"How do you remember the doorman's name and not notice the homeless guy?"

"How do you never remember the doorman's name and only notice the homeless guy?"

"Fine, whatever, but don't you think it's odd that a millionaire would spend his time sitting on a street corner mumbling to himself? I knew something about him was off. He always bugged me. Now I think it's part of a plot to lower the property values and buy her building for a song."

"You've figured it out then. What's your next step, Sherlock?"

"Nothing. I just think it's interesting. That's all. But now I want you to tell me about her apartment. Is it nice? I bet it's nice. How does it smell?"

"Like brunch. Get a grip, Greg, you are starting to freak me out."

"Sorry, I'm actually just a little nervous. I think this week is the week. I think I'm going to get the invite upstairs. She's been sort of hinting around about taking things further. I think I've passed the test."

"Wow. Big step with Helena. She's not a casual dater. If she is willing to sleep with you then she's committing for the long haul. You realize that right? Sex isn't just a fun pastime for her. She views it as something deeper."

"I know, we've had all the serious talks. I know she feels a 'spiritual connection' along with the physical. I've dated girls like that before. None that have made me wait this long, granted, but I get it. She takes it seriously."

"She does. But do you?"

"Sleeping with Helena? Yeah, I take that very seriously. Hey, I've gotta run. I need to double check our Valentine's Day reservations. Everything needs to be perfect, not going to get this close to the finish line and fail now!"

Tina stared at her cell phone for a minute after Greg broke the connection then shook her head. If he was viewing this as the finish line instead of the starting gate she didn't think he was really ready for Helena.

Promises Made (part 3)...

After dinner Greg dropped Helena off at her apartment. The kiss goodnight by the elevator lasted a little longer than usual and was a little deeper than last time. That combined with the fact that the homeless guy was gone filled Greg with cheer. After Helena was on her way up to her apartment Greg turned to see the doorman, Terry, it was Terry watching him.

"Seems our homeless friend left for the evening?"

"What homeless friend? Do you mean Edward?"

"Edward? You know his name?"

"Edward Newsome. Yes, I know his name."

"Edward Newsome? That guy is Edward Newsome? You're kidding me."

"No. That is the one and only Edward Newsome. So I can most assuredly tell you he is not some homeless guy. Did you need me to call you a cab or did you keep your ride?"

Greg knew he was being dismissed now. Kissed and left at the elevator again. Dismissed by a doorman. Discovering that the crazy homeless guy was actually a multi-millionaire real estate developer. He could feel his good mood evaporating, but then remembered the actual kiss goodnight. It was a great kiss. Full of promise.

The whole date had been a good one. After leaving the bar they walked the few blocks to the restaurant. When they were passing the art gallery Helena had stopped to look at the flyer posted for their next exhibition.

It was a painting of an angel. He was tall and muscular and holding a bow in his hands, his wings folded down at his sides. "I've never seen a painting of an angel with a bow. Don't they normally have harps?"

She had smiled at him, "This is no angel. This is Cupid."

"Cupid? The little fat cherub guy? I guess he grew up."

Her face had clouded a little at that, "The cherub is a romantic fallacy. The painters wanted to depict him as something softer. More playful. So they made him a baby. And gave him a quiver of arrows with heart shaped tips. This, this is much closer to what the son of War should look like."

"The son of War?"

"Yes, Cupid. Son of Venus and Mars. Or Aphrodite and Ares if you prefer, but then you should use Eros instead of Cupid when referring to him. Mixing the Roman and Greek names just gets really confusing."

"I didn't know you were interested in the ancient myths. Tell me more."

"What do you want to know? More about Cupid? Or Venus and Mars? Or Psyche?"

"Psyche? Isn't that your brain?"

She laughed, "No, I mean Psyche the person. Cupid's wife."

"Cupid was married?"

"Yes, he was. It's a very long story and I wouldn't have time to tell you all of it before dinner, but the basics are that he fell in love with a human and he was worried she would be afraid to find out that he was a god so he made her promise to close her eyes every time he came to visit. She was talked in to breaking that promise. During the act of betrayal Cupid was wounded, Psyche and he were separated and she was forced to wander the world and the underworld in search of her lost love. Once he had healed he found her, forgave her and begged Jupiter to make her immortal. Jupiter consents as long as Cupid will give him a little help with the ladies in the future, because Jupiter was like that. Cupid and Psyche were married and from that day forward any union brought together by Cupid was considered sacred and must not be broken. See, even though Cupid forgave Psyche, he never got over the betrayal. A promise made must be kept or the consequences are dire."

"That's the short version?" Greg teased.

Helena laughed, "Yes, it is. We are talking about years of wandering. Other gods were involved along with Psyche's sisters. It was a huge mess."

"And you know all of this off the top of your head?"

"Sure. Family histories are all so interesting. Even ancient families."

"You are amazing." Greg smiled at her.

"Well, thank you. Now let's eat. I'm starving."

Greg smiled to himself in the backseat of the cab remembering how her face lit up while she was telling him the story of Cupid and Psyche. He was going to have to take her to that Angels and Demons exhibit when it opened. He loved that she wasn't just beautiful but smart. And willing to share the information without apology or hesitation. Confidence was very sexy. Everything about her was very sexy. He sighed, it was just so frustrating to wait sometimes.

He picked up his phone and sent a quick text. "U up?"

Now to Google Edward Newsome and find out why he spent his free time sitting on street corners mumbling. Greg wondered if it was some sort of trick to lower property values before swooping in to buy them at bargain prices.

His phone vibrated, "I'm up. Wanna play?"

Greg smiled, frustrations could always be dealt with.

Promises Made (part 2)...

"Okay, wait, Greg is dating Helena? Greg?" Shelly had asked for clarification at least three times already.

"Yes! Greg!"

"And how long have they been going out?"

Tina looked around the table for help, "A month? At least a month right?"

"Yeah, it's been pretty close to a month. He met her at the New Year's Eve party so yeah, it's been right around there." Al agreed.

Shelly shook her head, "Okay, you all know him better than I do, but I just have a hard time wrapping my head around them as a couple. He's so...and she's just not...and..."

Tina started laughing, "Ladies and gentlemen, my very eloquent cousin."

"Stop! You know what I mean. You all know what I mean! Greg is a player. Unless Helena has changed from when we were kids, and granted we've only talked online for the past few years, she doesn't do frivolous."

"She was really clear about that with him when he asked her out and he went anyway." Kyle shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe he's growing up?"

They all laughed at that.

"They are going to stop by here before they go to dinner so you can see her. You can judge for yourself if they make a good couple. They are an attractive one anyway."

"Helena on her own is an attractive couple." The group started to laugh, "That's not what I meant! I mean she's so pretty that it doesn't really matter who is next to her!"

"Call the devil by his name..." Kyle started as the couple walked in to the bar.

Shelly and Helena both did the high pitched squeal that only women who haven't seen each other in years seem to be able to master. "OH my god! You look great!" "I look great? Look at you! You look fabulous!" "Look at your hair!" "That dress is to kill for!" "You got so tall!" "It's the shoes." "Those are GREAT shoes!"

Everyone waited for the rush of words to slow down. When they noticed everyone staring at them they both broke out in to laughter. "Oops! Sorry about that! Helena, can I get you a drink? Here sit next to me." Shelly pulled out a high seat for her.

Greg smiled and said, "I've got this, white wine?"

"Yes, please, that would be lovely."

"Anyone else need a refresh while I'm up there?"

The table ordered their next round and Kyle and Al joined Greg at the bar to help carry back drinks.

Tina, Shelly and Helena played a quick round of catch up while they waited. Who was working where, who had dated whom, how long Shelly was going to be in town.

"I'm actually only here tonight. I arranged my connecting flight so I would have a chance to see Tina. I'm so glad you could stop by as well. You just look great, I mean, I know I said it before, but you really do. It's almost not fair."

Helena smiled, "You look fabulous as well. It must be in the genes though. You and Tina both look wonderful. I would kill for your hair."

Tina reach up and fluffed her curls, "Do you remember Amy calling me Shirley Temple every day in school? I didn't even know who Shirley Temple was but I hated it."

"Oh Amy! She was so awful! She constantly made fun of my name." Helena broke in to a pitch perfect imitation of a bratty 6 year old, "Helena who ever heard of a Helena? That's not even a real person's name."

"You seem real to me." Al put the drinks down on the table.

"Hey! Back off there, big guy!" Greg said trying for and just missing a playful tone rather than a threatening one.

Shelly raised her eyebrows at Tina and Tina returned the look with a slight head tilt.

"So you and Tina have known each other since first grade, when did you and Shelly meet?" Kyle asked trying to ease the sudden tension around the table.

"The summer before eighth grade. We went to camp together. I found out she was related to Tina when I complimented her hair. I told her I hadn't seen curls like hers since I was in second grade."

"Wait, so what happened to your curls after second grade?"

Tina laughed, "Nothing happened to my curls, Helena moved. You were only at Jefferson for, what? Half of first grade and half of second right?"

"Yes, we moved a lot when I was younger. Tina and I became pen pals though. She was my first best friend."

"We had to stand together against Amy after all."

"And then when Shelly realized that I was Tina's pen pal we spent the summer together as well. And then we all reconnected a few years ago through Facebook. And when I moved here I met all of you." She smiled at the group.

"And then saved the best for last with me." Greg laughed.

The group spent a little more time visiting before Greg announced that he and Helena needed to take off if they were going to make their dinner reservation.

Helena got up and hugged Shelly, "It was so good to see you! I hope you can come back for a longer visit. We could have a good old fashioned sleep over!"

"Sounds good to me, should I bring the pillows for the fight?" Kyle joked.

Greg's jaw line tightened, "I don't think she was inviting you."

Kyle held up his hands, "Chill, chill, I was joking. Go feed this man, he's getting a little hangry!"

Greg shook his head a little, "Sorry, dude, yeah, I guess I need to eat something. Shall we?"

He reached out and took Helena's arm to lead her to the door, "We will see you all later."

After the couple had made their way out of the bar Al turned to the table, "What the hell was all of that? Have you ever seen Greg get possessive like that?"

Kyle nodded toward the cousins, "Don't think I didn't see that look between you two when he snapped at Al, what's up?"

"It's just Helena. She has that effect on guys. I'm really surprised you two haven't even seemed interested in her."

Kyle shrugged, "She's pretty. And she's great. But she's just not my type. A little too, I don't even know really, just too something."

Al nodded, "I really liked her when we first met. Like couldn't get her out of my head sort of thing, but then I realized that it wasn't a real feeling. You know, like I had already put her on some sort of pedestal and wasn't really seeing her. Once I realized that it sort of faded away. She's great, don't get me wrong, but she's not messy enough for me."

Shelly laughed, "Well okay then. If I find a messy girl I will send her your way."

"What can I say? I don't want to have to be perfect so I don't want someone who already is."

Kyle nodded, "So was she like that in 8th grade?"

Tina laughed, "In 8th grade? Try 1st grade. When she first started, aside from Amy trying to torture her every day, she was really quiet. It's hard to be the new kid right? Especially coming in part way through the year. But she was nice. And she was smart. She ended up in my reading group. It was me, Amy, her and two boys Ricky and Jack. Now remember, we were 6 and 7 years old. Ricky and Jack both decided that Helena was their girlfriend. They would compete for her attention constantly. They had been best friends right up until that point and they ended up hating each other. And they kept hating each other until high school. Seriously. Because of a girl they both liked in 1st grade! It wasn't until our sophomore year that they realized how stupid that was and stopped."

Shelly nodded, "Yeah, she just has something about her. There was a camp counselor that was sent home half way through the summer. The rumor mill was that he was involved with a camper. I knew it was Helena."

"Dude! Really? She was with a counselor?"

"She wasn't with anyone. And keep in mind this kid was only like 17 or 18 himself and we were 13. So it's not like it was a giant age gap. And she was already stunning at 13. They weren't a couple or anything. He just sort of became obsessed with her. He would show up at the dorm to walk us to chow hall. He would make sure he was sitting near us during campfires. I think it just became obvious to his supervisors that there was a problem brewing and so he was sent packing. But she never did anything to encourage him. I remember her telling him that she was too young for any promises. She's always been serious. Which is why I really don't understand Greg."

"He's smitten for sure. And she said that she was really clear with him that if they were going to date it was going to be on her terms. She doesn't play around. She doesn't date casually and I think she's only had like 3 serious boyfriends ever. She was engaged a couple of years ago."

Shelly was shocked, "Really? I stalked her page and looked at all of her pictures to see what was going on when we first reconnected and I didn't see any fiance?"

"Yeah, they were engaged, had picked a date and then. Done. She doesn't talk about him. All of the pictures of him were gone. And nobody brings him up. I'm guessing it was really ugly and she doesn't want reminders."

"I get that. I hate when old pictures of Angie come up. I tried to make sure I untagged myself and deleted a ton but it still happens."

Al reached out and patted Kyle's shoulder, "If it helps when I see them I always try and say something slightly nasty, but not too nasty so she doesn't really know if I'm being nasty."

They all laughed, "Yes, it does help. I'm petty. What can I say?"

"Well here's to Greg and Helena, I hope they never have to untag photos!" Tina held up her glass.

"To Greg and Helena!" The friends echoed back.

"Good luck to him." Shelly whispered as she downed her drink.

Promises Made...

Greg didn't like picking her up at her place. It wasn't just because he had never actually been inside her apartment. Or that he was forced to wait in the lobby for her after the doorman called up to let her know he was there. It wasn't even that he felt out of place with all of the very well dressed and obviously well funded individuals that came and went while he waited. It was the homeless guy who sat outside the building.

Look, he was a good guy, he really was. And he knew that people got down on their luck. And hell, he had lived in the city his whole life so it wasn't like homeless people were something he wasn't used to, it was just something about this guy. When Greg walked past him the little hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Something about him just wasn't right. The constant mumbling or the blank stare. Greg was never sure exactly what, but there was something that just bugged him. He hated being this way. It made him feel badly about himself. In fact he had made a big donation to the Sisters of the Road mission to help feed the homeless population to try and ease his own guilt at how much this guy bugged him. But it didn't stop it from happening. He just really bugged him.

But he still would pick her up at her place if that was the plan. Because no matter how much that guy bugged him he would never pass up the opportunity for the invite upstairs. They had been going out for a month already and the most affection he had received had been an almost chaste kiss goodnight at the elevator door. Never the invite for a drink upstairs. Never a request to go back to his place. Never even a lingering touch. But he still held out hope. He had wanted her from the second he first saw her. He was self aware enough to admit how shallow that made him sound, but there was no other way to phrase it. He wanted her. And once he got to know her he realized that she really was worth wanting in every way.

Smart. Funny. Kind. Successful. Greg's friends liked her, even though he was technically the last one to meet her. Tina had known her since they were little kids and the rest had seen her off and on over the years, but they still all liked her. They didn't even all like each other all the time, but her? They all liked her. So Greg knew she was great in a completely not shallow sort of way.

But he still wanted her. She was beautiful, but it was more than that. She was sex incarnate. All curves and smooth skin and shining hair. She moved like water. Not really walking so much as undulating across the floor. A man couldn't help getting bad thoughts just watching her go from point A to point B. She was incredible.

Which made the fact that she was so untouchable maddening.

She even knew the effect she had on him. They talked about it. Honest, open, communication. He wasn't used to that. But she had let him know on the first day that she moved very slowly. She took things like relationships very seriously. If he wasn't willing to go at her pace, to understand her reluctance to move to the next level, then he was free to go. No hard feelings. They could still be friends. But if he wanted to date, to try for more, she was willing. Just very slowly and seriously.

Normally a woman talking about getting serious on the first date would have made him turn tail and run. But did he mention how much he wanted her? He was willing to take the time. And if it all took too long and he decided that even she wasn't worth that much of a wait then he would move on. It wasn't like he had completely abandoned the other women he had been dating after all. Helena might might have wanted to take things slowly and seriously but that didn't mean he was taking things exclusively.

He turned as he heard the ding of the elevator and saw her just as the doors opened. That moment before she started to look for him. That moment that was just her, lost in her own thoughts, waiting. Then she looked up and saw him standing there waiting for her and he watched as the smile spread across her face. Every feature involved, from the curl of her lips to the crinkle of her nose to the spark in her eyes. Stunning. He always remembered how beautiful she was while at the same time always seemed to forget until he saw her. She was everything.

"Greg! You look wonderful! I hope you haven't been waiting long. The elevator took forever to get to me. I almost decided on the stairs."

"Ms. Helena, I have a cab waiting for you both and I will call Carl to take a look at the elevator while you are out."

Greg nodded to her doorman, was it Charles? James? Something like that and took Helena's arm to lead her to the waiting cab.

"Oh thank you, Terry, I so appreciate your help."

Greg hustled her out the door and in to the cab trying to ignore the mumbling coming from the homeless guy leaning against the building. He seemed to have gotten louder while Greg was inside. Probably had a pint tucked in his jacket and was on his way to drunk.

"Where are we off to tonight?"

"I made reservations as Cassidy's Place at 8, and before that I thought we might stop by the bar for a quick before dinner drink. Tina's cousin is in town and was hoping to see you before she left."

"Fabulous. I haven't seen Shelly since summer camp way back in, hmmm, I want to say 8th grade! What a great surprise!"

With that Helena patted Greg's knee sending a spark up his leg that made it very difficult to remember that this was a slow and patient game he was playing.

Dark...

They were drawn to her darkness.

Like moths to a flame.
But her flame was cold. 

Dark.

Deep.

But still they came.

They looked in her eyes 

and saw their own reflections.

Never feeling the chill.

Until the day they did.

Always surprised.

How could you?
When did you change?

She never had.
She always was.

They just never saw.
Blinded by the dark.

But still they came.

Thirsting for her.

Mistaking her depth for salvation.

Never realizing they were drowning.

Dark.
Deep.

Cold. 

The heroes determined to rescue her.

The poets dying to woo her.

The lovers wanting to reach her.

Let them come.
She would take them all.

Dark.
Deep.

Cold.

Eternal.

If I were to do it this is how...

When I worked as a cashier or bookkeeper or office manager or any other money handling position in a company one of the first things I would do is figure out how to rip them off. Would it be better to do one large chunk or small pieces? How was I more likely to get away with it? How many other people could/would have access to this money and therefore the blame? How cleanly could I do it? How long would it take to be discovered? And was there a way to do it where it never would be?

I could say I did it to be better at my job. If I know how to rip you off I can more easily prevent others from doing it. But that would pretty much be a lie. I did it because it amused me to do it. I liked figuring it out. But one little thing always kept me from my devious plans. I am shockingly honest. I am the person who goes back in to the grocery store to settle up when I find the item in my cart I didn't pay for.

If I do find myself in a situation where my ethical buzzer is going off and I try to ignore it I get ill. Tried working for NutriSystem while I was in college and the things they asked me to do to sell their plan made me quit the best paying job I had ever held up to that point. I just can't do it. Once I've decided something is wrong I am stuck. And if I try to do it anyway I am sick. Physically ill. And stealing is one of those things that falls squarely in to the wrong column. But I'd still figure out how to do it.

So anyway, watching the whole Bundy Bunch round up today and reading the comments on the posts. People are squarely on one side or the other (in the posting, I would guess the people who are middle ground are quieter as middle grounders tend to be) and I keep seeing recurring themes.

Government overreach. That is the theme of the why the Bundy Bunch was there according to their supporters. It was supposed to be about the Hammonds and the unfair sentencing they got for setting fire to government lands. But the Hammonds said they would finish their sentences and asked that the Bundy Bunch leave. So then it came back around to the Bundy family's pet cause. The government doesn't have the right to charge them for grazing their cattle or to even own the land that the cattle was grazing on in the first place. So they were going to take back the land and give it back to the people. Not all the people, mind you, but the people. I have a few issues with this. Part being the Bundys themselves. They owe the government over a million dollars in unpaid grazing fees. Turns their political protest in to more of a trying to get out of debt ploy. Also the reason why most of those ranchers don't own that land is because when they were going broke they sold it. It would sort of be like you selling your house but insisting that the new owners let you come over and swim in the pool whenever you wanted to because you know, you used to own it.

So I don't really agree with them in their specific points. Or at least on the ones that it was really about. The Hammonds sentencing? Well that falls under mandatory sentencing and not allowing the judge (you know the highest legal authority in that room at the time) to have leeway in sentencing. I am not a fan of mandatory sentencing. I think it's stupid. I think the world tends to run a lot more gray than that. There should be room on either end. Sentencing guidelines. Okay. But mandatory sentencing and three strikes rules? Nope.

Which brings us to the next theme you see. People talking about Ferguson this and Baltimore that...the general theme being that riots, looting, and arson were allowed to run rampant in those places and they were "praised" for it. Not so with the poor maligned Bundy Bunch. Okay, let's start off with saying, you do know that the people who actually rioted, looted and set fire to things were arrested right? The peaceful unarmed protesters were not. For the most part. Though they were tear gassed, faced down with riot gear clad police driving armored vehicles while the Bundy Bunch was, well, left alone to their heavily armed selves until yesterday. So your argument doesn't work on that level. And nobody praised the people who broke the law. People talked about how something needed done to fix the underlying issues.

And it's silly to try to directly compare. Because they aren't protesting the same things. Or in the same way. Or have anything to do with each other. The Bundy supporters are mad now because someone died yesterday. I get it. Dead is horrible. Being gunned down is a great fear. But that was at the end (or near the end since there are still some at the refuge refusing to leave) of their protest. After they were asked repeatedly to leave. Even offered safe passage out. The Ferguson and Baltimore protests that you want to compare to? Those were started on the death of someone at the hands of authorities.

Here is where things get sort of surreal for me though. Reading through the comments about the death yesterday and there is a rumor that the man that was killed had his hands up when he was shot. Now there are conflicting stories, including reports from others that were there that he actually charged the police and that's when he was shot. But there are those who are screaming loudly about his hands being up.

While also talking about how "if this was Ferguson."

Hands up, don't shoot.

Anybody? Anybody?

Sounds really familiar right. His hands were up when he got shot. Now when the rest of the story came out the hands up part didn't fit. The evidence fit the charge of Michael Brown charging the officer.

But here we are. Another case. Another group. The facts aren't out yet at all. But how easy is it for the Bundy people to believe that their man had his hands up and was gunned down? Because they feel that the government cannot be trusted to take care of the people.

That the police cannot be trusted to always tell the truth.

That people who are being mistreated by the laws in this country end up dead.

Hmmm...

Now I am no more political schemer than I am criminal mastermind but if I were going to run a shadow government the first thing I would do is take the people on the edges of society and pit them against each other.

I would have them screaming at each other about color, class, privilege, yours and mine and I would just sit back and let them go.

Hell, if I found a way that worked on one group, I might even use it on the other knowing full well that instead of paying attention to me and what I was doing they would be looking at each other to see who was treated more fairly in their injustice. Mandatory sentencing. Three strikes rules. Hands up, don't shoot.

So what do you think would happen if these groups stopped yelling at each other about who has it worse and listened to the grievances from the other side? What if they finally heard that they were saying the same things? What if they realized that maybe the current systems weren't working for anybody? Or for just a very very few. Maybe 1% of us, say. What if they banded together and said, "Your unfair treatment is my unfair treatment. We are going to fix this!" What would happen then? Would there be change? Would there be a re-establishment of basic rights without a mountain of paperwork, red tape, unfair economic barriers?

Do I believe that's what is happening? That our government is pitting the people against each other so they can erode our current rights. So it can continue to benefit those that need it the least while watching entire cities, counties, people crumble under the strain? I'm not sure that I do.

But if I were going to do it, that's how I would start.