Moving and shaking...

Brent and I are thinking about moving. This isn't a surprise to anyone who knows us, we are almost always thinking about moving. We moved every two years when he was in the Navy and then again his first few years with Intel. We only stopped being so mobile when C went in to middle school and we decided it was best for him to have stability through the rest of his school years. But we had talked about moving as soon as he graduated.

Brent actually interviewed with a company in Pittsburgh C's junior year but it would have meant him being there and us being here for just over a year and that puts a strain on a family financially and emotionally so he turned down the job. The there was the interview last summer with the company in Tennessee. If that had been a better fit and a slightly bigger town we would have accepted the job offer there. Instead he ended up with a promotion and a new position at Intel so he moved (desks) and we stayed here.

But that doesn't mean we aren't still thinking of moving. It just might not be to a new city. Though if an offer in San Diego came  about we would be packed and out of here so fast it would leave a little cartoon dust cloud behind us. So for now we are thinking of moving in to town. Or farther out of town. One of those. We are waiting until after C graduates college and settles down someplace. With the way the economy is we feel like we need to make sure we still have space for him just in case he doesn't fall right in to a position after graduation. Though, honestly, we both think he will do fine. He picked up a very marketable minor so he has double skill sets going in to the workforce. But just in case it seems like a good idea to keep room for him for another couple of years.

But then we move. Maybe. I am torn right now between three ideas. One is the downtown condo that I have dreamed of for years. Something with a view of either the skyline or, even better, a slice of the river. Something neat and tidy and within walking distance to just about anything you can imagine. The second is moving toward the coast or up in to the hills.  Going more rural instead of more urban. Living on the beach would be outstanding, except for Brent's commute. Trying to get in to work could be a real challenge and would be super time consuming. Living in a little house in the middle of a wooded lot would be excellent as well. I love both ideas equally. Beach and mountain. *sigh*

And then there is the third option. We bought in to the townhouse at a pretty darn good price. We didn't get caught up in the refinancing boom when the houses were being over appraised so we don't owe more on it than it's worth. With only Brent working it's a nice manageable mortgage. There are benefits to staying put. We need to start doing the maintenance that you do after being in a house for 10 years. And part of me thinks that maybe I should just redo the floors and the kitchen and the bathrooms and stay here. We could take the money we aren't spending on a bigger mortgage and use it to go have fun. Maybe travel to mountains and beaches all over the place instead of moving to one or the other.

And I do like where we live. The inside and the proximity to things at least. I'm not thrilled with the car lot outside my window (seriously people use your garage!) and it makes me sad that they have pushed the urban growth boundary (and are petitioning to do it again!) so instead of the apple orchard and the farm land across the street I will have a new bright and shiny Arbor Homes development. But should we stay or should we go?

I have just over a year to decide I guess...though if we are staying I am doing the floors soon.  George McPukington the First aka the Vomit Comet has pretty much trashed my carpets and wood floors seem like a gift from heaven...

Anyway...what do you all think?  A new place on the beach, in the hills, downtown? Or this place just gutted and redone fancy and shiny? And how often do you get itchy feet and want to move and go someplace new? For me I am ready to leave a city after about 18 months. The fact that we have lived here for 10 years this time and two years before that shows how much we do love Portland. Maybe I just need to bite the cheap bullet and book a lot more travel to solve the itchy feet issue? It's a problem I have, for another day to discuss, I get a vacation all lined out then see the price at the end and FREAK THE FUCK OUT and don't book.

Hmmm....things to ponder...moving on up...to the East Side...to a deluxe apartment in the sky....or in the hills...in the woods...on the beach...to the west....

More Music Monday!

Okay, I know it's technically Tuesday but the blog idea came to me yesterday so I am using it.

I was reading a book yesterday about sociopaths and at the beginning of a chapter the author quoted a song lyric that has to be one of my all time favorite lyrics ever. (Yes, I am reading a book about sociopaths, it's called The Sociopath Next Door and so far it's an excellent read, nonfiction, psychology) So I get to the new chapter and there it is, "I saw a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's and his hair was perfect." I love that line. I love the way it feels in my mouth when I say it. I love the images it brings up in my head when I hear it.

I've blogged about music before here and again a couple of days after that here. I'm a lyric person, Brent and C are about the music itself, doesn't matter what the lyrics are as much as the overall feel of the song. For me I like the lyrics. But that doesn't mean they have to be deep or meaningful or even make sense. Sometimes it's just the way the words sound together, or the way they make you feel when you sing them that matters to me. And if there is a story as well? Bonus!

Yesterday at the gym I turned off my workout playlist and went with Bat Out of Hell. The whole album for me is just perfection. Each song is a story. The words all hang together in the best ways. It's big and bombastic and over the top and just the best thing. I have loved it since I was a little kid and I still do. I can remember writing the lyrics to Two Out of Three on my notebooks when I was in high school. I thought it was just about the most perfect song ever. And honestly, I still do. Though I discovered that it's not the best gym soundtrack because I want to belt it out with Meat on every song and I do find myself doing big over the top hand and arm gestures à la Neil Diamond and Celine Dion....

Then there are issues when I am the only one listening to lyrics and have to point out that it's a happy little song about date rape. Or killing your partner's lover when you in fact have been out cheating on them as well. Or when I ask if it's the finest silver from the South of Spain when looking at jewelry and no one else gets it. Or at least they pretend not to. Because they like to pretend that Brandy isn't one of the greatest songs ever. I mean come on...she's a fine girl who is in love with a man who will never stay with her because his life, his lover, his lady is the sea!

When I was little I used to make up little dance routines to songs acting out the lyrics. And there are times that muscle memory tries to take over and I still want to "gather up the tears" when Steely Dan starts singing. I can usually restrain myself, but it can be really difficult at times. Like yesterday at the gym when I had to keep putting my arms back down toward my sides when I was listening to Meat Loaf.

I think song lyrics were as much an inspiration for me to want to write as books were. I am not very musically talented but I did try my hand at a song once when I was younger. I still have the line in my head and someday it will probably work its way into a story so it has someplace to go.

A well crafted lyric, whether it's a story, an image or just a fun line to say can be a wonderful thing. Lyrics can stand the test of time. Make you remember where you were when you first heard them. They can make you happy when you are sad, bring on melancholy or nostalgic feelings towards days gone by. Or just make you glad to have heard the song and gotten a chance to sing along.

Even if it's something as silly as Do Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Do....

Oh the Horror!

Okay, not horror. But horo.  As in scope. Horoscope. Yeah, it was a long walk for that one but I liked the title and wanted to make it fit.

Do you read your daily horoscope? Do you follow it? Do you know your sign? Do you think you fit the description? And do you think you would have fit the description if you had never read it? Like, have you changed aspects about yourself to blend more with what you view as the positive aspects of your sign?

I'm a Leo. People who are familiar with the signs of the zodiac and their descriptions who also know me are not surprised by this. Leos tend to be loud, like to be the center of attention, like to entertain, are optimistic, idealistic, curious, are fiercely loyal to their friends and are generous. There are a few things I can own on that list, not all but some. They are also described as domineering, pompous, inflexible, status conscious, vain and childish. I can own a few of those as well, again not all, but some.

But I always wonder if I were another sign would I be a different person or would I just pick things out of those lists of personality traits that would fit me? Because in any description of Leos, the negative and the positive personality attributes there are some that just don't fit me at all. Leos are supposed to be highly social. I am not. Leos are highly ambitious. Nope. Status conscious, nope. But if I were to take a different sign, let's pick a water sign since they are opposite, what could I pick out of that one that would fit me?

Here were go, Aquarius:

Challenging Traits/Keywords
Absentminded, reclusive, eccentric, perverse, fixed opinions, detached, tacky, unpredictable, temperamental, bored by detail, cold, exploitive, radical, impersonal, rebellious.

Beneficial Traits/Keywords
Broadminded, idealistic, inventive, helpful, original, intuitive, independent, tolerant, individualistic, progressive, creative, scientific, logical, humane, intellectual, altruistic.

Okay, so I am absentminded, reclusive, eccentric, detached, tacky, broadminded, idealistic, inventive, helpful, intuitive, independent, tolerant, individualistic, progressive, humane...oh holy crap! I'm an Aquarius!

Okay, so you see what I mean right? I am pretty sure I am solidly Leo because I pay attention to the Leo descriptions and horoscopes, but I can pick out as many Aquarian attributes as Leo ones that match me.  So do I just think of myself as a Leo because I always have?

I also get my horoscope by email everyday. Last Monday my horoscope was all about how I was in the middle of a creative boom and to ride the wave. Well, I wrote fiction pieces for the blog Sunday, Monday and Tuesday and worked on some other pieces that I didn't post as well. Later in the week it was all about repeating the same patterns over and over again and right at that point I was thinking about exactly that sort of situation. Saturday my horoscope told me I needed to get dressed up and go out that night. Well, I went to a wedding! It's amazing isn't it?

But you see what I did there right? I only pointed out the ones that fit what was actually happening that day. I don't remember the others. I know there was one about getting out and dating again. Well, Brent would probably have issues with that one so I ignored it. I know that there was one a few weeks ago about having more children which I adapted to Grandchildren so it made more sense. But basically we notice the ones that seem to speak to us and ignore the ones that don't. So does that mean you believe in your horoscope or you don't?

I've talked before that I believe the Universe gives you signs. When you are looking for answers to questions, guidance on which way to go, I think that the world starts showing you the direction. Now I believe it partly does this through your subconscious pointing things out to you, PAY ATTENTION HERE! sort of thing. But I also do believe that sometimes something random comes along and focuses your attention on the path you are supposed to be taking. Horoscopes. Song lyrics. Street Signs.

So I checked my horoscope for today and it reads:
You may find yourself in a difficult position today, Denise, as if you are literally being pulled in two completely different directions with little say as to how things are supposed to end up. The acting forces are likely to be manipulative, and you should take special care that no one takes advantage of you in any way. The problem is that this may be easier said than done at a time like this.

OH MY GOD! That's totally right! I didn't want to go to the gym, but C did and since I told him we would work out together I really had no choice but to go with him. And at the end of it he tried to totally make it seem like it was a good thing to be exhausted and sweaty...manipulative little thing! Or it means something totally different than that (shocking I know) but it doesn't apply right this second so I will ignore it and forget about it by tomorrow.

Or in the wise words of The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel which just happened to play while I was at the gym so it was totally a sign that it should wrap this blog up....all lies and jest still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest...

Yes, I know we've talked about this before...

Today is a navel gazer of a post so you can back out slowly and I will pretend I never saw you here.  It's okay...go now. I will be back this weekend with frothier posts or maybe some more fiction. Steering away from politics because I am JUST SO ANGRY right now about the WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY that continues to happen while congress does nothing but pander to their special interest groups and FYI you and I are not their special interest groups...so I will stay away from that...So anyway you get a rehash of my issues instead.

Why a rehash if I've already posted about them? Because I might have blogged about it in the past, but I haven't gotten over it yet so rehash it is!

So here we go. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who is in recovery for his own addictions. He has been out of touch and off the grid while he went through rehab and post rehab and is just now starting to come out to face the world. I asked if he was healthy and strong and happy and he said that he was and that he was doing really well and trying to make sure he didn't get cocky. Because cocky is what gets you in situations like that. You think you have it all under control and then you start to slip. You let in behaviors that trigger relapse. It happens. It's why addicts refer to themselves as in recovery instead of cured. Because as soon as you think you are cured you are using again.

What does this have to do with me and my navel gazing you ask? Is it that I am addicted to navel gazing? No. Well, maybe. But it's okay. I think everyone who writes is to a point and that's okay. Where this really resonated with me was from something I caught myself doing on Wednesday and then a conversation I had with Brent about it that night. See there is this woman at the gym who is there when C and I go work out no matter what day or time we work out she is there, my guess is that she's actually there all of time. Looking at her I can recognize a lot of the signs of anorexia, though my guess would be she actually is more likely to be an exercise bulimic. She has the dry, thin hair and gaunt face of an anorexic. The absolute lack of body fat. Watching her on the mountain hiker machine it's slightly fascinating for me because I can see each individual muscle bundle working. She also never works her arms on the weights, only her legs so my guess would be that she doesn't want to add any bulk to her arms but sees her lower body as a "problem".

Yes, I know I am putting a lot of supposition on this woman that I don't know at all, and she might just be extraordinarily thin with bad hair, but the real point is the one I am coming to now. Watching her work out and seeing how skinny she is (not thin, thin can be healthy, she is was well into skinny) I started wondering how much she weighs. And wondering what it would take to get there. See? Don't get cocky because it's always there. I work out at least 4 times a week, sometimes 5. I eat what I want to eat. I'm not thin but I'm not fat either. I am 20 pounds lighter than my heaviest and 20 pounds heavier than my thinnest. I would like to lose about 5 pounds but I'm not working on it right now because though I say 5 I am thinking 10, and I know I would go for 15.

When I first decided that I wanted to drop a few of the extra pounds I put on last year I went back on Weight Watchers, it's what I did to lose the weight three years ago and it really worked for me. I lost the weight I set out to, then I lost about 13 more pounds just because I could. And then I thought I would lose about 5 more just to be the weight I was on my wedding day (after having been super sick for months and not able to eat) and then I was looking at pictures from a party I was at and didn't recognize one of the people that was there...until I realized I was looking at myself. Holy shit. No wonder people kept asking if I was done losing weight. And the funny thing is when that picture was taken we had just gotten back from vacation so I had actually put on a few pounds and wasn't at my thinnest.

So after I saw that picture I went upstairs to the bathroom took off all my clothes and really looked at myself. And I didn't like what I saw so I decided to put back on some weight. And then I got to the point where I had put on more than I really wanted to so back on WW I went. But I didn't stick with it because I could see the warning signs and the bells were clanging loudly for me early. I was already down 3 1/2 pounds and I was counting the next 10 in my head...so off again. And I've been maintaining ever since then. And that was in February so it's not bad at all to have maintained.

So anyway, I was telling Brent about seeing this woman at the gym and about how my reaction had been to get to that, even knowing how unhealthy it is, even knowing that it's not even attractive, but just this desire springs up to get there. And he and I started talking about what I could and could not do. Because I can take a really healthy plan (like Weight Watchers) and bend it to my will. I can take working out and turn it into a death march. So what do you do? And being Brent he sliced it right to the core. You just have to be extra careful and healthy about it. And then the next day I had the "don't get cocky" conversation.

Which is so much easier said than done. Because the funny thing is, I really do like the way I look. I like my curves. I like myself a little too heavy more than a little too skinny. I like the fact that I have boobs and a butt. I like the fact that I have strong legs that could kick down a door bad ass style if I ever felt the need. I like that I am getting my biceps definition back after having to take it easy from my shoulder injury. I like all of those things. But I also know that voice in the back of my head is still there....that, "five more pounds, five more pounds" chant can and will start at any point in time. So I just have to be extra careful.  And not get cocky. And try to not look at the skinny woman at the gym with envy.

And just because I talked about this being a rehash I thought I would post a link to a blog I wrote three years ago where I weighed pretty much what I weigh today and was having pretty much the same issue...It's also humbling to see how far I haven't come. Still working on that total self acceptance part. I guess accepting the demon skinny bitch voice in the back of my head is part of that. But can I accept that it's there and not listen to it? Understanding that the temptation will always be there, but the follow through is totally in my control. That's the next step.

And done...

Maybe I should get my belly button pierced....if I'm going to spend this much time looking at it something shiny seems appropriate.....

It's a lecture, so you might want to sit down...

New findings are out today in the Penn State investigation. It seems as though everything is pointing towards Paterno knowing about the 1998 allegations when he had said that he didn't. Nike has announced it is taking his name off of one of their buildings due to this. Which is the right thing to do. And Nike was right to wait until the investigation reached this point to do it, in my opinion.

I have not made my feelings about this whole issue secret, I blogged here when it first was breaking and I blogged here when Sandusky was found guilty. I think the school was wrong in the way they handled it from the start. I think Paterno was wrong. I think the administration was wrong. And I think it was the sort of wrong that really could be called evil. But here's the thing that is bugging me right now. A lot of people are taking this opportunity to do a lot of "See? I told you so" and it bothers me.

It bothers me because the people they are "I told you so"ing are dealing with their own grief today. And we need to let them grieve. I blogged here about the same sort of issue when the world didn't end last year. I don't approve of being a jerk. And you sitting smugly in your warm safe house telling your friends who went to Penn State that the man they looked up to for years was evil and you had told them so all along is being a jerk.

Losing a hero is hard. Losing a hero because you see that they did something that was not only not heroic but just flat out wrong is even harder. And to those that now say, "This is why I don't do hero worship." To you I say, "Fuck you, stop being a smug bastard (or bitch as the case may be)" We have all had our share of hero worship in our day. Athletes, musicians, fireman, astronauts, political figures, family members...who ever it was that you looked up to. What ever field it was that you wanted to go in to and thought, "They are the best, I want to be like them." We've all done it. And to lose a hero is a hard thing.

I'm not asking you to ever feel sorry for those that knew what Sandusky did and did not stop him. I would never ask you for sympathy for Sandusky. But just stop and think about the people who knew nothing about it, who never had a chance to stop it, who it was hidden from who are also dealing with knowing that it was their hero who did part of the hiding.

End of lecture, you can carry on with your day now....

I need to ask you something....

When Gary walked into the room Debra put down her book at looked up at him. "Have you ever torn someone's clothes off of them?"

"What?" Gary was used to the randomness of Debra's musings but at times she still surprised him with the things she would say. This was one of those times.

"Well obviously before we were together. You have never ripped my clothes off so I was wondering if you had ever done it to someone else. It happens a lot in books. The couple is so enthusiastic they tear each other's clothes off. I have never torn nor had my clothes torn so I was wondering if you had."

"No, I have never torn someone's clothes off of them. That would just be weird. I can't wait to have sex with you so I am going to ruin what you are wearing. Doesn't that seem like a mixed message?"

"Hmm....maybe. But what if that is a level of passion that you are missing? What if you meet someone some day and think, I just want to rip their clothes off! What happens then?"

"I think I can safely say that I will never face that dilemma."

"How can you be so sure? I mean, it happens all the time! It seems as though there is a thriving group of clothes rippers all around us and somehow we just missed out on that piece."

"Did you want me to rip your clothes off?"

"Well, no, not now. Now I would know that you were doing it because you thought I was expecting it, not because you were just so ummm...enthusiastic you couldn't help it."

"Are you saying you are unsure as to my level of enthusiasm? I am pretty sure that you should be able to tell.  I mean, I might not be porn star enthusiastic, but you can't really miss it if you are looking directly at me."

Debra tossed a throw pillow at Gary.  "That's not what I am talking about! You know I am very happy with your ummm...level of enthusiasm...I was just wondering if somehow we had missed something in the passion department. And then was wondering if maybe it was just me. Maybe I am the only non-clothes ripper."

"Post it on Facebook as your status.  See what people respond."

"Seriously? You want me to post...I was wondering have you ever ripped off someone's clothes or had your clothes ripped off in a moment of unbridled passion? Don't you think that would be weird?"

"Weirder than this?"

"You are married to me, you have to put up with my weirdness. I am pretty sure it was in our vows."

"Yep, you are right, love cherish and put up with weirdness. It was right there."

"So it's a no for both of us. No clothes ripping even in our young and impetuous days. Maybe I will post it. It just seems like it wouldn't be in so many books if it didn't happen at least once in awhile. Maybe it's just a first time thing. And somehow we missed it our first time."

"Do you remember our first time?"

"Yes, of course."

"Do you think you missed something? Because I am pretty sure we didn't miss anything. It led to our second time after all."

"Well yes, but...."

"You were wearing that blue silk dress. It was so blue it was almost black but in the light you could see the blue. And it made your eyes look like the sky. We had been dating for three months. My friends couldn't believe we weren't already sleeping together but I already knew that I was going to marry you and I didn't want to do anything to spook you and make you leave. I wanted everything to go perfectly. To keep you safe and happy and secure and if that meant waiting three months to have sex, we would wait.

But we both seemed to know that that night was the night. You were in that dress and you had those shoes.  Do you remember those shoes? I had never thought I was a shoe guy before that but you wore those black shiny shoes...."

"They were patent leather pumps...."

"Yeah, those, and they made your legs look about two miles long. When we went back to your place and I got to unzip that dress and take you out of it...no way would I rip it. It was like unwrapping a gift on Christmas morning. Easing the zipper down your back exposing inch after inch of your pale white skin...Why would I rush that? I had waited three months for that. And then when you stepped out of the dress, still wearing your heels and your lace... And do you know what you did next?"

Debra smiled because she did know what she did next. She had hung up the dress in her closest. She had bought that dress that week just for that night. She had spent almost a week's salary on it. It was beautiful and fit her well and she knew that her date with Gary on Saturday would be important so she wanted to look perfect. But the idea of leaving that dress, that expensive dress, balled up on the floor? She couldn't do it so she had hung it up before they went any further.

"You turned to the closet and got out the fanciest hanger I have ever seen, it was padded and had a bow on it, the hanger was better dressed than some people I know, anyway, you got out this special hanger and you put your dress on it and hung it up. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. No, seriously, don't laugh, it was. You were in that black lace thing with those shiny shoes on, you turned your back to me to hang up the dress. And all I could do was just stare at you. I had waited three months of dating plus the year of being friends to see this. All of you. And it was worth the wait, believe me. Rip your clothes off? I am lucky I could make my legs work to walk back over to you. I am lucky my heart didn't explode out of my chest it was beating so fast. Debra, you are not a rip out of your clothes type of woman. You are an explore every inch of you slowly and deliberately before doing it all over again type of woman."

At that point Debra put her book on the couch and stood up. She held her hand out to Gary and said, "Let's you and me go upstairs and slowly and deliberately remove each other's clothes. It might not sell books, but you've sold me."

Hang ups...

Emerson had been working nonstop since he got the call last night. So many things had needed done in a very short amount of time. People he had to visit with. Documents that needed disposed of. And an entire house that needed to be relocated from the studs of the walls in. What a surprise that one will be for the bank when they foreclose. Opening the door to find they only have a shell of a house left. But that wasn't his responsibility. He had called in all of his crews for his part. He had taken care of what needed taken care of. That was his job. And he was the best at it.

Emerson had been the man to take care of everything for as long as he could remember. It had started out small. When he was in school he was the one who knew where the answer key for the big test was and how to get to it. He was the one who was never surprised by a pop quiz. There were no surprises in Emerson's world. Ever. He made sure of that. When he was in his 20's he became "that guy". You know the one. When you needed something done a friend would say, "Oh I've gotta guy." He was that guy. He knew everyone and everything. There was no problem he couldn't fix. No situation he couldn't get you out of.

Talent like that eventually catches the eye of people who need guys like that in their world. And Emerson became "that guy" to some very powerful people. He learned quickly that his particular talent and skill set could command a lot of money on the open market. He also learned that the people he was working for didn't like sharing talent so he could command even more money by keeping a closed market. But even though he had more money than he would ever need he still continued to work.

He liked the challenge. The puzzles that needed fixed. The pieces that other people didn't seem to see that needed moved to make sure everything ran the way they needed to. And that's how Emerson saw the world. A giant puzzle filled with pieces. Everything and everyone was just a piece to the puzzle. Something that needed dealt with to make sure the puzzle was always solved. Which wasn't easy. Imagine doing a 1000 piece jig saw puzzle in the middle of a tornado and you would get an idea of some of the challenges Emerson faced on a daily basis.

People didn't like to do as they were told. He discovered this very early in his life. He had a younger sister and realized quickly that telling her what she could and could not do rarely if ever worked, but getting her to do what he wanted by making her think it was all her idea always did. It was a good lesson for him and one he learned well. He was a master at getting people to do what they needed to do when they needed to do and be happy about it as well.

The only person it hadn't worked on was his wife. She seemed to figure out pretty early on in their marriage that he was guiding her decisions even when he was doing his best to make it seem as though they were all hers. She seemed to love to do things just to mess up his order. To make him sit back on his heels and have to start over again. And he thought that was probably why he loved her. She always surprised him. When the cancer took her away he looked at it as her one last "can't figure this one out can you?" poke at him, at his need to control the world and all the moving parts.

When she died he stopped working for awhile. His world had stopped making sense and he felt like there was no point to what he did. If he couldn't control the cancer that took his wife what was the point in anything else he did? He even went on a spiritual retreat to try and stop the buzzing in his head. When he met with the shaman he was expecting to see an old fraud who had figured out how to fleece the masses out of their money. Instead he met the real deal. The old man looked at him and nodded. "I see you."  I see you? What was that supposed to mean? I see you. Emerson had puzzled over that for hours. Finally he went to the old man and asked what he meant by that. And the old man told him again, "I see you."  Emerson said, "I get it, you see me. But what do you see?"  And the old man said, "Everything. Just as you do. We see everything." and then in a less mystical tone the old man said, "Now stop feeling sorry for yourself, take the lesson in humility the universe has just delivered and get back to work."

And that's just what Emerson did. He got back to work. With his wife gone and his focus renewed he found that he was busier than ever. So many things needed put back to right. He had only been gone for a few months but in just that time there were things that had started to slip. People making decisions based on their own petty selfish needs instead of what was best for the group. He commanded even more money and received more power and took care of more and more of everything.

And when he got the call last night from his boss that they knew everything he knew what needed done. He moved the people that needed moved. Shredded the documents that needed shredded. Met with the most likely weak links in their chain and had some deep discussions with them. Some of those ended well, some of those did not, but by the time he was through talking everyone was on the same page again. There would be a few months of down profits while the system settled back out, but all in all it was a good day's work. Things would run well again. The only piece that bothered him was that he had not seen this coming. There hadn't been any inkling of a leak in their organization. Of a pending betrayal. He didn't know who had called his boss with the tip off or why. Those pieces he would explore later. After he got some sleep. And he would find the answer. Things had been set right but they should have never gone off course in the first place and this bothered Emerson. And Emerson did not like to be bothered.

.....

"You're next."

"Come on, it's stupid, I don't want to."

"Chicken? Come on...it's funny. Sometimes people will start to tell you all of their secrets. It's like a soap opera on the phone!"

"Fine...."

*click* "Yes?"

"They know everything. What are you going to do about it?"

"Understood. It will be taken care of."

*click*

"Well?  What did they say?"

"That they would take care of it and then they hung up. See? It's boring! Let's do something else."