Every weekend since New Year's I have known at least one person visiting Las Vegas for the weekend. A few times I have had multiple friends there for different things. All of them posting on their Twitter feeds or status updates or email chains about how they were headed to Vegas! Not that I am jealous, okay yeah, a little jealous.
I love Vegas. It really is grownup Disneyland. People wear things they wouldn't wear anyplace else, they drink more than they would anyplace else, they gamble, they go see shows, they just live a different life for a few days. Now I know that a lot of people wonder why I like it so much, I am not big on excess, I don't drink too much, gamble too much, don't smoke at all but I love watching it all. So I thought I would share some Vegas tales, because you know what happens there really doesn't stay there no matter what people say!
The first trip I ever took I thought I was going to hate it. Brent was in the Navy and we were getting ready to travel to our new duty station. Friends of ours were going to be in Las Vegas for the weekend so we took the time to go out and visit with them. I was pregnant with Christopher at the time and very sensitive to smells. So we get to Vegas and check in to our non-smoking room which was so permeated with stale smoke I thought I was going to die. But the hotel assured us that it was a non-smoking room and any other would be worse. But the weekend visit was fun, we got a chance to catch up with our friends and Brent made enough money at Blackjack to keep me in quarters for video poker. After our friends left we moved to the Strip and spent a couple days there. We went to the King Arthur dinner show and I LOVED it. Just the right blend of hokey and corny for my sense of humor.
The next trip was with USA Boxing for the National Finals competition. This is one of my favorite trips ever even though it was as far from a standard Vegas experience as you can get. I believe the only gambling I did was dropping a quarter in a slot machine at the airport on the way home. The very cool part of this trip for me was the underbelly of Caesar's Palace. Because we were working a boxing event with the hotel as a partner all of the athletes and the group from USA Boxing got pass keys to the back working areas of the hotel and the employee cafeteria. Now underneath the hotel is a huge area that houses everything it takes to make a huge hotel work. The laundry facilities and linen rooms were amazing to see. I wish I had been able to take pictures of it all, but we weren't allowed to take cameras into these spaces. And the employee cafeteria? Oh my gosh, I asked one of the security guards how much weight a typical employee gains when they first start, and he said it was like the freshman 15 from college! The same cooks and chefs from the restaurants through the hotel worked shifts in the employee cafeteria as well, so the food was outstanding. We had a few boxers working extra hard to make weight that week!
Then when I went back to work for L/N I was in Vegas at least twice a year, one memorable year I was there 6 times, including a stretch where I was in back to back meetings so there for a week and a half. Which is too long to be in Vegas for sure. Three days is about perfect without business, you can stretch it to 4 or 5 with meetings, but it still gets to be awfully long. Fly in one evening, get there around 6 or 7, check into your room, head out for the evening, next day wake up and spend some time in a spa or at the pool, then head out again, next morning sleep in then catch an early afternoon flight back out. Just enough time to enjoy yourself, not so long as to get tired of all the flashing lights and noise and smoke. That's a perfect Vegas vacation in my book.
Anyway...Vegas travel with work. What is the hardest part of the Vegas experience at work is going out in the evening and having fun while still being able to get up and be presentable and engaged at an 8 AM meeting. It's tough. And it's amusing to look around the room at the more wild of the bunch sitting hunched over a cup of coffee looking just as miserable as they could be, but knowing that as soon as the meetings are over for the day they are going to rally and want to head back out on the town again!
Traveling with clients is always a trick. You have to stay out as long as they want to and go drinking with them but never get drunk enough to embarrass yourself or forget that you are on the clock the whole time. It makes for a tiring trip. But if you are lucky then you have people you work with that you are also friends with so you can let that guard down a little and actually have fun. My co-op clients would spend every Christmas meeting in Vegas for a stretch. Those were some of the most memorable trips with the least amount of business. Just a time for everyone to celebrate good sales and good times.
I have a mish mash of memories from all of those work trips so I am going to share a few as a batch, know that they aren't all from one trip! One of my first work trips my friend Scott taught me his favorite game to play in a Vegas bar. Hooker/Slut. Simple rules, when an attractive woman walks in and starts chatting up a guy at the bar you have to guess which she is either a working girl there to make a living or a party girl there for the weekend to have a good time. There is usually a spirited debate amongst the group before you come to a conclusion. Now every time someone new would come on a trip they would have to be taught the game. One of the best things to ever come from this game was the words of wisdom from my friend Jenny. We spent an evening playing Hooker/Slut in the bar at The Palms during a Christmas meeting that happened to be held at the same time as the bull riding finals. Well, Jenny after observing all of the action for the evening picks one woman as a slut and we are all sure she is a hooker. Nope, Jenny is adamant. Why? Well...she announces..."Hookers don't wear hats." Hookers don't wear hats never fails to make a group of people I know burst out into laughter. And she was right, hookers don't wear hats so always bet slut if she is in a hat. :-)
I also learned how to gamble for cheap from my friend Don. He taught me how to play Craps for hours on a $10 investment. Now any evening that is spent laughing with friends, getting free drinks and everyone is happy and it only costs $10 is a good night. That was my first taste of actually letting go of money to gamble it. The first few trips I took with KFC that was all I did. Stand next to Don at the table and gamble my $10. Not much of a gamble, but fun any way. Then I started playing Blackjack. Now when I say I play Blackjack, what I mean is I sit at a table with a group of franchisees who tell me how to play. I know it's just numbers but the whole system to it flees my mind most of the time so I just look to my left or right and someone tells me stay or hit. It works for me. I paid for my massage table and my massage chair with winnings from Vegas. Those were great trips!
I also love all of the sights of Vegas. Seeing the waters at Bellagio, seeing them again from the top of the Eiffel Tower, the White Tigers, the Pirate ship, the shark exhibit...The Star Trek Experience was one of the most fun things I have ever been to. I am a huge dork (as most of you know) and these things are fun and goofy and cheesy and I love them. The other sights I love are the people. Scott says there is a section of the closet for some of these women labeled "Vegas Clothes" and they would NEVER wear them anyplace else, but oh my gosh...the things they wear or I should say don't wear in Vegas! My favorite is to see the married couples, she is dressed in a sequined blouse cut down to there with heels up to there on to match the shortest skirt she has every owned...and he is wearing a pair of cut off shorts, sandals with socks and a t-shirt that says, I'm not as think as you drunk I am!
There are so many more stories I could share, but this is already really long and I fear horribly boring to anyone but me! Vegas, baby...
Friday, February 12, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
First we mock
Let me start out by saying I have a wonderful kid. I just do. I know all parents feel that way, but in my case it's true. ;-) I am extremely proud of him. He is smart and funny and kind and has the most unique mind of anyone I know. So now you know this blog is going to be a brag book about him, but also will have two of the funniest stories from some pretty rough times in his school career.
I am not the world's best mother in that traditional mom sort of way. I don't do things like June Cleaver. I just never have. I really thought I would when I was pregnant. I had all of these great plans of being that mom that took him to play groups and did "enrichment" exercises with him and would always feed him healthy home baked meals and we would go to the park and I would let him join all of the clubs and groups and Brent and I would be the cool parents. I believed all of this. I really did.
The only thing I didn't take in to consideration while making these plans was that I am not that person. When I was a kid I would head out on my bike to a grove of trees near the house and pull out a book and sit and read. For hours. I am not an active person, I am a book worm. I am not a cook my favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. I am not an overly social person, I am a loner by nature. I like people well enough, in short doses and only if they are fun, smart and not needy. So you can see how my plans of an active social health food eating kid fell apart pretty quickly.
So I went on my way of being a mom to Christopher in my own unique way. No baby talk. No letting him win at games. No ignoring his questions no matter what they were he got an answer. Reading was a must, I read to him, Brent read to him, he read to us and to himself. McDonald's Playland was his park. We have pictures of him playing video games with his dad before he was even 2 years old (granted his controller wasn't plugged in, he thought he was the computer). But all of this bad parenting worked out and he is a great kid.
But that is not to say he has always had an easy time of it. He is brilliant. For those that know him know that I am not exaggerating when I say that. He has always been brilliant and when you combine that with the fact that we never treated him like a little kid with the baby talk and dumbing down of conversations he had a really hard time relating to kids his own age when he was younger. So for a stretch in elementary school and the first year in middle school before Summa was created we were dealing with hurt feelings and frustration on almost a daily basis when he would come home from school. I was trying really hard to instill in him a sense of self that was strong enough to not be effected by what other people thought. When he would come home after getting in to an argument with some kid at school I would tell him things like "the only person you have control over is yourself" and "you are a Mastenbrook we are stronger than that". But apparently my words on other subjects were carrying more weight than those.
One day I got a phone call from school about an altercation he had in class with a fellow student. Don't ask me exactly what it was about, because I don't remember the details, but it was enough for the call home. I picked up Christopher from school and he was in big trouble and he knew it, so begins the lecture. Seems that this kid had done something or said something that made Christopher mad so the argument started. I asked Christopher what I always say (hoping for a phrase on control, or self image) and through tears he spits out..."First we mock" I had about 5 seconds of silence before I just fell out. I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face. Well, yes, sweetie, that's true, if someone is being an idiot first we mock. And mock he did. Which led to the fight. Oops. So I had to revise this to wait to mock at home. :-) But "first we mock" became sort of short hand for a joke.
The second time that his quicker wit got him in trouble but made me laugh (more bad mom stuff, the laughing at inappropriate times) was in middle school. There was one kid that he clashed with all of the time. One day in class they are sitting in a group together, classes had table tops so 3 or 4 kids would sit together in a group, and they start in on each other. This kid is trying to be the tough guy and be a punk ass to Christopher. Just digging at him, well Christopher is seeing the humor in what he is saying and is throwing it back at him. The other kids at the table are laughing, not at Christopher like the jerk wants, but with Christopher laughing at the jerk. So this kid toughs up and says, "You want to step out into the hallway?" and Christopher says, "Why? Are you going to be funnier out there?" Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard when he told me this I thought I was going to pass out. That's a brilliant line! Now the giant black and blue mark on Christopher's shin where the punk ass kicked him after he said it wasn't nearly as brilliant, but I was still impressed with the boy child.
Now he's 17 and much more in control of his temper and impatience. He has learned how to hold his tongue in a situation where a mocking tone wouldn't be appreciated, but has held on to his wit. He is also extremely kind and generous and really is a good kid, growing in to a good man. Brent and I both couldn't be prouder of not only what he has accomplished in his schooling, academics and music alike, but also in his confidence and the comfort in his own skin. Next year I will watch him head off to college to expand his horizons and hopefully meet someone wonderful to share his life with and pass on to their children such nuggets of wisdom like...First we mock.
I am not the world's best mother in that traditional mom sort of way. I don't do things like June Cleaver. I just never have. I really thought I would when I was pregnant. I had all of these great plans of being that mom that took him to play groups and did "enrichment" exercises with him and would always feed him healthy home baked meals and we would go to the park and I would let him join all of the clubs and groups and Brent and I would be the cool parents. I believed all of this. I really did.
The only thing I didn't take in to consideration while making these plans was that I am not that person. When I was a kid I would head out on my bike to a grove of trees near the house and pull out a book and sit and read. For hours. I am not an active person, I am a book worm. I am not a cook my favorite thing to make for dinner is reservations. I am not an overly social person, I am a loner by nature. I like people well enough, in short doses and only if they are fun, smart and not needy. So you can see how my plans of an active social health food eating kid fell apart pretty quickly.
So I went on my way of being a mom to Christopher in my own unique way. No baby talk. No letting him win at games. No ignoring his questions no matter what they were he got an answer. Reading was a must, I read to him, Brent read to him, he read to us and to himself. McDonald's Playland was his park. We have pictures of him playing video games with his dad before he was even 2 years old (granted his controller wasn't plugged in, he thought he was the computer). But all of this bad parenting worked out and he is a great kid.
But that is not to say he has always had an easy time of it. He is brilliant. For those that know him know that I am not exaggerating when I say that. He has always been brilliant and when you combine that with the fact that we never treated him like a little kid with the baby talk and dumbing down of conversations he had a really hard time relating to kids his own age when he was younger. So for a stretch in elementary school and the first year in middle school before Summa was created we were dealing with hurt feelings and frustration on almost a daily basis when he would come home from school. I was trying really hard to instill in him a sense of self that was strong enough to not be effected by what other people thought. When he would come home after getting in to an argument with some kid at school I would tell him things like "the only person you have control over is yourself" and "you are a Mastenbrook we are stronger than that". But apparently my words on other subjects were carrying more weight than those.
One day I got a phone call from school about an altercation he had in class with a fellow student. Don't ask me exactly what it was about, because I don't remember the details, but it was enough for the call home. I picked up Christopher from school and he was in big trouble and he knew it, so begins the lecture. Seems that this kid had done something or said something that made Christopher mad so the argument started. I asked Christopher what I always say (hoping for a phrase on control, or self image) and through tears he spits out..."First we mock" I had about 5 seconds of silence before I just fell out. I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face. Well, yes, sweetie, that's true, if someone is being an idiot first we mock. And mock he did. Which led to the fight. Oops. So I had to revise this to wait to mock at home. :-) But "first we mock" became sort of short hand for a joke.
The second time that his quicker wit got him in trouble but made me laugh (more bad mom stuff, the laughing at inappropriate times) was in middle school. There was one kid that he clashed with all of the time. One day in class they are sitting in a group together, classes had table tops so 3 or 4 kids would sit together in a group, and they start in on each other. This kid is trying to be the tough guy and be a punk ass to Christopher. Just digging at him, well Christopher is seeing the humor in what he is saying and is throwing it back at him. The other kids at the table are laughing, not at Christopher like the jerk wants, but with Christopher laughing at the jerk. So this kid toughs up and says, "You want to step out into the hallway?" and Christopher says, "Why? Are you going to be funnier out there?" Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard when he told me this I thought I was going to pass out. That's a brilliant line! Now the giant black and blue mark on Christopher's shin where the punk ass kicked him after he said it wasn't nearly as brilliant, but I was still impressed with the boy child.
Now he's 17 and much more in control of his temper and impatience. He has learned how to hold his tongue in a situation where a mocking tone wouldn't be appreciated, but has held on to his wit. He is also extremely kind and generous and really is a good kid, growing in to a good man. Brent and I both couldn't be prouder of not only what he has accomplished in his schooling, academics and music alike, but also in his confidence and the comfort in his own skin. Next year I will watch him head off to college to expand his horizons and hopefully meet someone wonderful to share his life with and pass on to their children such nuggets of wisdom like...First we mock.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Change the focus
Today while I was waiting for Christopher during his trumpet lesson I was playing around taking shots for my 365 photo challenge. It was raining today and I was alternating between taking shots of the rain on the windshield and zooming in to the speed limit sign down the road. Not changing the location of the camera or any other settings, just changing the focus and I was getting two totally different sets of shots with a different feel to them.
So of course then the blog starting writing in my head. Isn't that life really? It's all what you are focusing on. Where are we putting our energy right now? Are you so busy looking to the future that you can't see what is going on right now? Or are you so worried about the day to day that you haven't even imagined what tomorrow could bring? Where is your focus? And should it be there?
I am often multi-focused, which is a much nicer way of putting it then saying I can be flighty. I have always been this way. I usually have two or three different things running in my head at one time. I can be watching TV while thinking about a conversation I had earlier in the day while writing a blog and I go in and out of deeper focus on each one item while the others continue running in my head. This has been a blessing and a curse. When I was working in advertising it was really a benefit, especially during meetings. I could be presenting an advertising plan while watching the reactions of the co-op members and thinking ahead to the questions they were most likely to ask while also making mental notes on who I needed to call as soon as the meeting was over to get plans into action. Then when the meeting was over I wrote the meeting minutes so I would need to replay the entire meeting again, who said what, when and who voted on it, all with the help of very sparse notes and do that while making those calls and placing orders and sending follow up emails.
But the problem comes when it's time to go to sleep and your brain is still trying to focus on a handful of things. You can quiet one thread and another picks right up. We call it busy brain in my house. Some nights are harder than others to quiet down all of the chatter in my head and get to sleep. So through the years I have learned a few tricks on changing my focus. Instead of letting thoughts run wild I pick one thing to really concentrate on. Breathing or counting. Something that will engage my brain but not encourage it to continue running. Sometimes this works long enough to fall asleep.
But it happens everyday in big and little ways. How many times have you commented on a new sign or paint job or co-worker's haircut only to be told it had been changed weeks ago, you just didn't notice. You hadn't focused on it before, but once you did BAM you noticed all the changes. It's all about where your main focus has been. Maybe up until that point your head had been busy working on a particularly sticky problem at work, or at home and so all of your extra energy has been directed towards that. Everything else in your life took on less focus.
Is this good or bad? I have to say it is neither one, it just is. But what I can say is if you are miserable. If you are feeling like the world is against you. If you are sad or mad at everyone and everything around then it's definitely time for a change in focus. Pay attention to the things in life that bring you joy and refocus your energy on this. Will this change what is happening in your life? No, it won't, but it will change how you react to it. It will change how it effects you.
All appears to change when we change. -Henri Frdric Amiel
So of course then the blog starting writing in my head. Isn't that life really? It's all what you are focusing on. Where are we putting our energy right now? Are you so busy looking to the future that you can't see what is going on right now? Or are you so worried about the day to day that you haven't even imagined what tomorrow could bring? Where is your focus? And should it be there?
I am often multi-focused, which is a much nicer way of putting it then saying I can be flighty. I have always been this way. I usually have two or three different things running in my head at one time. I can be watching TV while thinking about a conversation I had earlier in the day while writing a blog and I go in and out of deeper focus on each one item while the others continue running in my head. This has been a blessing and a curse. When I was working in advertising it was really a benefit, especially during meetings. I could be presenting an advertising plan while watching the reactions of the co-op members and thinking ahead to the questions they were most likely to ask while also making mental notes on who I needed to call as soon as the meeting was over to get plans into action. Then when the meeting was over I wrote the meeting minutes so I would need to replay the entire meeting again, who said what, when and who voted on it, all with the help of very sparse notes and do that while making those calls and placing orders and sending follow up emails.
But the problem comes when it's time to go to sleep and your brain is still trying to focus on a handful of things. You can quiet one thread and another picks right up. We call it busy brain in my house. Some nights are harder than others to quiet down all of the chatter in my head and get to sleep. So through the years I have learned a few tricks on changing my focus. Instead of letting thoughts run wild I pick one thing to really concentrate on. Breathing or counting. Something that will engage my brain but not encourage it to continue running. Sometimes this works long enough to fall asleep.
But it happens everyday in big and little ways. How many times have you commented on a new sign or paint job or co-worker's haircut only to be told it had been changed weeks ago, you just didn't notice. You hadn't focused on it before, but once you did BAM you noticed all the changes. It's all about where your main focus has been. Maybe up until that point your head had been busy working on a particularly sticky problem at work, or at home and so all of your extra energy has been directed towards that. Everything else in your life took on less focus.
Is this good or bad? I have to say it is neither one, it just is. But what I can say is if you are miserable. If you are feeling like the world is against you. If you are sad or mad at everyone and everything around then it's definitely time for a change in focus. Pay attention to the things in life that bring you joy and refocus your energy on this. Will this change what is happening in your life? No, it won't, but it will change how you react to it. It will change how it effects you.
All appears to change when we change. -Henri Frdric Amiel
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Scatter shots
I have a bad case of busy brain right now. Too many ideas to focus down and lock into one for a fully formed blog. I keep starting, deleting, stopping. So today instead of a blog you get a list. Consider it things to look forward to. :-)
First we mock
Vegas, baby
Comfort Foods
History and herstory
Plastic Surgery
Strength Finders
Travel
Music and memory
Let me tell you a story
There are more but they are flickering through my brain too quickly to grab hold of. Trying to decide now how best to tackle each subject. Generally the blog "writes" in my head and I edit a few times before actually committing to typing it up. But with a blog a day for a month I am facing a new challenge. How do I organize my thoughts more efficiently? Should I sit down and start a group of blogs and then edit and add on each day? Should I keep writing in my head but work harder at focusing on one subject? Should I just sit and write free form they way I am right now? That is part of the challenge for me. A blog a day to learn how to focus my writing. Welcome to the learning curve I hope by the end of the experiment you are all still with me. :-)
First we mock
Vegas, baby
Comfort Foods
History and herstory
Plastic Surgery
Strength Finders
Travel
Music and memory
Let me tell you a story
There are more but they are flickering through my brain too quickly to grab hold of. Trying to decide now how best to tackle each subject. Generally the blog "writes" in my head and I edit a few times before actually committing to typing it up. But with a blog a day for a month I am facing a new challenge. How do I organize my thoughts more efficiently? Should I sit down and start a group of blogs and then edit and add on each day? Should I keep writing in my head but work harder at focusing on one subject? Should I just sit and write free form they way I am right now? That is part of the challenge for me. A blog a day to learn how to focus my writing. Welcome to the learning curve I hope by the end of the experiment you are all still with me. :-)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Do you haiku?
A friend of mine has a blog that is all in haiku. I love it so much that I keep going back and re-reading her posts. It is a year's worth of experiences summed up with a haiku a day, not quite 365 haiku but a lot of haiku none the less. This same friend and I have been known to have entire conversations back and forth in nothing but haiku.
I am not sure why I am drawn to haiku, but I always have been. I am not sure if it's the simplicity of them, or just the fact that it's word play with numbers. Sometimes haiku can be breathtakingly beautiful in its description, sometimes it's hilariously funny with a simple pun.
The problem I have with it is that once I start writing a haiku, then I have to write 10. Haiku is to poetry like Lays Potato Chips are to Snack Food.
Haiku: five, seven
then come back to five once more
I love the pattern
When writing haiku
I have to use my fingers
to do more than type
Weatherman says snow
The kids hope for school closure
Moms hope he is wrong
Sitting on the porch
Wrapped in your oversize coat
Planning the future
The risk you take when
teaching someone a lesson
is learning one too
Fickle Morpheus
Does not always visit me
I wish he took bribes
I am not sure why I am drawn to haiku, but I always have been. I am not sure if it's the simplicity of them, or just the fact that it's word play with numbers. Sometimes haiku can be breathtakingly beautiful in its description, sometimes it's hilariously funny with a simple pun.
The problem I have with it is that once I start writing a haiku, then I have to write 10. Haiku is to poetry like Lays Potato Chips are to Snack Food.
Haiku: five, seven
then come back to five once more
I love the pattern
When writing haiku
I have to use my fingers
to do more than type
Weatherman says snow
The kids hope for school closure
Moms hope he is wrong
Sitting on the porch
Wrapped in your oversize coat
Planning the future
The risk you take when
teaching someone a lesson
is learning one too
Fickle Morpheus
Does not always visit me
I wish he took bribes
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Food!
Today is Super Bowl Sunday. For a lot of people this means getting together with friends to watch the game, or the commercials, whichever floats your boat! And at those get togethers there will be food. Chili, chips and dip, wings, pizza, hot dogs whatever is your snack option of choice. We are going to the Steins and really looking forward to Dale's chili. Yum! I am bringing Little Smokies and chocolate chip cookies. Yes, this in not a Weight Watchers friendly day. But it will all be yummy and worth it.
So as I was making cookies this morning I started thinking, who came up with this? Who was the first person to discover that butter creamed with sugar is a piece of heaven? But then it starts going farther back then that. Who was the first person to think to process sugar? To turn milk into butter? And why? What about the flour? Who figured out that grinding grains makes flour? And again, why? And then putting ingredients together and baking them? For those that bake you know you need certain ingredients or your bread won't rise, you cookies will become concrete, your souffle won't well souffle...
So who discovered all of these things? And again, why? Who was the first person to cook their meat? To grind those grains? To slice up veggies and put them in a pot of water to make soup? You get stories about the person who came up with Pizza or with French Fries, but go back further...who was the first person to eat a potato?
I am an adventurous cook, to put it nicely. What that basically means is if I am cooking (not baking, cooking) then I use a recipe as more of a cute suggestion. I take it and tweak it and add and subtract and mix and match and come up with something that is pretty close to the idea the person who originally wrote the recipe had, but isn't really that anymore. But that comes from years of eating and cooking so I have an idea how things taste together and mix. What I don't ever do is pick up something in the store I have never seen before and create a recipe from scratch. So it really is amazing to think that at some point in time every ingredient I use someone else randomly ate to see how it tasted. Then experimented to make recipes.
And as my house fills with the smell of dark chocolate chips melting into cookies I am really glad that they did!
So as I was making cookies this morning I started thinking, who came up with this? Who was the first person to discover that butter creamed with sugar is a piece of heaven? But then it starts going farther back then that. Who was the first person to think to process sugar? To turn milk into butter? And why? What about the flour? Who figured out that grinding grains makes flour? And again, why? And then putting ingredients together and baking them? For those that bake you know you need certain ingredients or your bread won't rise, you cookies will become concrete, your souffle won't well souffle...
So who discovered all of these things? And again, why? Who was the first person to cook their meat? To grind those grains? To slice up veggies and put them in a pot of water to make soup? You get stories about the person who came up with Pizza or with French Fries, but go back further...who was the first person to eat a potato?
I am an adventurous cook, to put it nicely. What that basically means is if I am cooking (not baking, cooking) then I use a recipe as more of a cute suggestion. I take it and tweak it and add and subtract and mix and match and come up with something that is pretty close to the idea the person who originally wrote the recipe had, but isn't really that anymore. But that comes from years of eating and cooking so I have an idea how things taste together and mix. What I don't ever do is pick up something in the store I have never seen before and create a recipe from scratch. So it really is amazing to think that at some point in time every ingredient I use someone else randomly ate to see how it tasted. Then experimented to make recipes.
And as my house fills with the smell of dark chocolate chips melting into cookies I am really glad that they did!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
I don't do guilt.
Anyone who has known me for long has heard me say this. I don't do guilt. I have come to realize though that people misunderstand what I mean by that...so let me explain.
Growing up with my mother I learned at the hand of a master manipulator. She can wield guilt like a surgeon uses a scalpel. Clean precise cuts that make the outcome just exactly what she wants it to be. I am not entirely positive she even realizes she is doing it, but do it she does. When I was younger I fell in line the same as everyone else. It's just easier. And at times I still do what she is trying to guilt me in to doing, but for my own reasons. The difference in how I view what is happening came for me when I was a teenager. When one of the girls in youth group was trying to guilt our youth minister into something he didn't want to do he told her he didn't do guilt and resented her trying to manipulate him that way. It was like a light came on in my head...other people trying to make you feel guilty is just their way of trying to manipulate you. Wow. Now as an adult we all know this to be true and can usually side step those that try to make you feel guilty. But what about ourselves?
What do we do when it's our own voice that is making us feel guilty? And this is where "I don't do guilt" tends to throw people off. Guilt is just your subconscious telling you to change your behavior. Now when you feel guilty you have a few options. You can stop what ever is making you feel that way, you can examine why you feel guilty and decide that it's not really something worth feeling guilt over (moral codes that don't fit yours, behaviors that someone else expects, out dated ways of thinking) and decide not to feel guilty anymore or you can wallow. It's the wallowing that I am talking about when I say I don't do guilt.
We all know people who do things that make themselves miserable. They eat the wrong things, they date the wrong people, they drink too much, they do drugs. Whatever behavior it is that is destructive they do it, feel guilty, and do it again. I hear it in Weight Watchers all the time from people. They over ate and felt guilty, so to try and make themselves feel better they ate more. Now, I am an emotional eater, I eat when I am sad, happy, bored, lonely whatever, but I don't feel guilty about it. I ate what I ate. If it was higher in calories (and let's face it, carrots are not comfort food) then I need to eat something lower in calories to balance it out. But I do not feel guilty. I enjoyed the food. I ate it for a reason, and now that reason is in the past so why wallow?
I have regrets. I have made my share of mistakes in the past, some big and some small and some off the charts huge. But I don't feel guilty about them. Because I cannot change them. Regret is wishing I had made a different choice, guilt is continually reliving the moment and punishing myself for a choice I cannot change. That's the difference for me. Guilt is an actionable emotion. Or it should be anyway. If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty, then stop it.
You can stop the guilt in one of two ways, either change the behavior, or change the attitude. I find a lot of the time it's the attitude that needs changing as much as the behavior. Do you feel guilty about buying a pair of shoes just for fun? Do you feel guilty about eating the brownie? Do you feel guilty about sleeping with your girlfriend? Well, stop and think, why? If the answer is you are late paying your rent and that's why you feel guilty about the shoes put the shoes back, but if it's because when you were 18 you were broke, but now you have money in the bank and can afford them, buy the shoes, wear them and enjoy them. Are you a diabetic and that brownie is going to wreck havoc with your blood sugar? Then put the brownie down and walk away. But if you are healthy and happy with your weight but your first boyfriend's voice rings in your head about you carrying a little extra junk in your trunk, then eat the brownie, enjoy it and banish that voice to the rubbish bin. How about that sex question? Are you feeling guilty because you know you don't really care about the person? Or is it within your religious beliefs that you don't have premarital sex? If so, then go home alone. Other than that it's really between you and your partner.
So when I say I don't do guilt you understand. I don't wallow. If I do something that makes me feel guilty, I stop and think why? If it's because it falls into an outdated way of thinking for me (old religious beliefs for instance) or into society's rules that I don't agree with (who says I shouldn't dance in the supermarket?) or is it that I am doing something I shouldn't be? What do I need to change? The behavior or the attitude? One of them needs to change because...
I don't do guilt.
Growing up with my mother I learned at the hand of a master manipulator. She can wield guilt like a surgeon uses a scalpel. Clean precise cuts that make the outcome just exactly what she wants it to be. I am not entirely positive she even realizes she is doing it, but do it she does. When I was younger I fell in line the same as everyone else. It's just easier. And at times I still do what she is trying to guilt me in to doing, but for my own reasons. The difference in how I view what is happening came for me when I was a teenager. When one of the girls in youth group was trying to guilt our youth minister into something he didn't want to do he told her he didn't do guilt and resented her trying to manipulate him that way. It was like a light came on in my head...other people trying to make you feel guilty is just their way of trying to manipulate you. Wow. Now as an adult we all know this to be true and can usually side step those that try to make you feel guilty. But what about ourselves?
What do we do when it's our own voice that is making us feel guilty? And this is where "I don't do guilt" tends to throw people off. Guilt is just your subconscious telling you to change your behavior. Now when you feel guilty you have a few options. You can stop what ever is making you feel that way, you can examine why you feel guilty and decide that it's not really something worth feeling guilt over (moral codes that don't fit yours, behaviors that someone else expects, out dated ways of thinking) and decide not to feel guilty anymore or you can wallow. It's the wallowing that I am talking about when I say I don't do guilt.
We all know people who do things that make themselves miserable. They eat the wrong things, they date the wrong people, they drink too much, they do drugs. Whatever behavior it is that is destructive they do it, feel guilty, and do it again. I hear it in Weight Watchers all the time from people. They over ate and felt guilty, so to try and make themselves feel better they ate more. Now, I am an emotional eater, I eat when I am sad, happy, bored, lonely whatever, but I don't feel guilty about it. I ate what I ate. If it was higher in calories (and let's face it, carrots are not comfort food) then I need to eat something lower in calories to balance it out. But I do not feel guilty. I enjoyed the food. I ate it for a reason, and now that reason is in the past so why wallow?
I have regrets. I have made my share of mistakes in the past, some big and some small and some off the charts huge. But I don't feel guilty about them. Because I cannot change them. Regret is wishing I had made a different choice, guilt is continually reliving the moment and punishing myself for a choice I cannot change. That's the difference for me. Guilt is an actionable emotion. Or it should be anyway. If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty, then stop it.
You can stop the guilt in one of two ways, either change the behavior, or change the attitude. I find a lot of the time it's the attitude that needs changing as much as the behavior. Do you feel guilty about buying a pair of shoes just for fun? Do you feel guilty about eating the brownie? Do you feel guilty about sleeping with your girlfriend? Well, stop and think, why? If the answer is you are late paying your rent and that's why you feel guilty about the shoes put the shoes back, but if it's because when you were 18 you were broke, but now you have money in the bank and can afford them, buy the shoes, wear them and enjoy them. Are you a diabetic and that brownie is going to wreck havoc with your blood sugar? Then put the brownie down and walk away. But if you are healthy and happy with your weight but your first boyfriend's voice rings in your head about you carrying a little extra junk in your trunk, then eat the brownie, enjoy it and banish that voice to the rubbish bin. How about that sex question? Are you feeling guilty because you know you don't really care about the person? Or is it within your religious beliefs that you don't have premarital sex? If so, then go home alone. Other than that it's really between you and your partner.
So when I say I don't do guilt you understand. I don't wallow. If I do something that makes me feel guilty, I stop and think why? If it's because it falls into an outdated way of thinking for me (old religious beliefs for instance) or into society's rules that I don't agree with (who says I shouldn't dance in the supermarket?) or is it that I am doing something I shouldn't be? What do I need to change? The behavior or the attitude? One of them needs to change because...
I don't do guilt.
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