Tuesday, December 31, 2024
Monday, December 30, 2024
Sunday, December 29, 2024
Saturday, December 28, 2024
Thursday, December 26, 2024
Tuesday, December 24, 2024
Monday, December 23, 2024
Sunday, December 22, 2024
Saturday, December 21, 2024
Friday, December 20, 2024
Thursday, December 19, 2024
Wednesday, December 18, 2024
All Good Things...
I know this seems weird, to just link the other, but I want to get a clean number for the end of this year on this site. It would bug my brain if I didn't. So...
Tuesday, December 17, 2024
Monday, December 16, 2024
Sunday, December 15, 2024
Homecoming Christmas...
"Are you heading home for Christmas?"
"I am home."
"You know what I mean. Back to your hometown. Are you going back this year?"
"I don't think so. I think I'm going to go back for New Year's Eve this year. Let things clear out and calm down first."
"Won't your folks be upset?"
"Nah, not as long as I make it back sometime. My mother will fuss a little bit about it not being the same and she will be upset I won't be there to be fixed up with whatever poor guy she's picked out for me, but she'll get over it as long as I show up for New Year's Eve."
"How about your brother? Will he be mad that you're putting all the holiday pressure on him?"
"My brother? Are you kidding? He's so busy this time of year he can hardly see straight. A visit after Christmas will be perfect for him. And it will give me a chance to meet the latest girlfriend."
"Oh? Is he seeing someone?"
"Now? I'm not sure. It's probably just at the seeing each other around town stage right now, but by then? Sure he'll be deeply in love with Holly or Noelle or Carol or Eve or..."
"Oh come on! They aren't always named something like that."
"Aren't they though? I mean, maybe not their real names, but the one they tell him is always something like that. My favorite was Vixen. She knew what she was after and made it happen without any shame."
"Does it bother him?"
"Nah. I mean, eventually he will find someone and settle down, but for now he's fine playing Christmas Fantasy Man. And if he ever decides to move any big city he's got contacts in Real Estate, Law and Publishing just to name a few. I mean, his network of Christmas Girlies is vast."
"Is that what you call them?"
"I do. I mean, it sounds derogatory, but in a way I envy them. They found a way to cosplay their favorite movies and have their own December to Remember. None of them really want to stay in a small town in Vermont and work the Christmas Tree farm year round, but for a few weeks in December, maybe a little bit of January? It's fun. It's fairly harmless. I mean as long as everyone knows what's going on. And Nick has always seemed to be aware that he was a prop not a real proposal."
"But he really is a good guy and they really would be lucky to have him."
"For sure. I mean, I'm biased, he's my baby brother after all, but he is a good guy. He's good looking. He's honest. He's a hard worker. He's named Nick and runs a Christmas Tree farm. I mean, if he isn't perfect he's darn close. And eventually someone will snatch him up and probably make him start going by his middle name, at least during December."
"Ha! That would be hilarious. My names Ni...I mean Abner."
"Well, yeah, his middle name isn't Abner but that would work too. He could always hire an apprentice. The pay isn't great, but the perks are fun. But how about you? Are you staying here or heading back to your hometown?"
"I'm staying too. Hey, since you are in town did you want to come to our celebration? We're having a bunch of people over. The mixed group of don't want to be alones, but don't want to go homes. We start on Christmas Eve with a potluck dinner, white elephant gift exchange, board games until drop, pajama party sleep in, then Gary's famous cinnamon rolls for Christmas breakfast."
"Oh my gosh, that sounds perfect and I think I might not ever go back to Vermont for Christmas again as long as you are hosting that!"
"Great! I'll put you on the food list. We pick randomly out of a hat who brings what, so cross your fingers it's something you like to make!"
"Cross your fingers I get dessert, I mean, I did help run the bakery after all."
"Oh my gosh that's right! Maybe I'll just slip a little note on the list, Joy is bringing cookies"
"Julie."
"Oh, that's right, I totally forgot you were going by your middle name now."
"Especially this time of year."
"Especially."
Books Chapter 23...
“Oh no!”
“Why oh no? I think that was great. He was pretty slick getting her to back down from attacking him because of his name. And we even got a plug for the event…oh no!”
“Exactly! It’s sold out. People can’t just stop by. Hopefully nobody will think they can. I don’t want to make anybody mad. Do you think that people will just stop by?”
“Okay, even if they do, how many people would it be? It’s a local TV show in the middle of the morning so how many people are even watching to start. And the event starts in an hour. Most people will check a website before they head out and our website clearly shows that it’s sold out. It will be fine. I’m sure of it.”
“Okay, you’re probably right. And we can always ask him to sign a few extra copies just incase somebody does stop by and…”
“Breathe. Just take a deep breath. It will all be fine. We’ve done this before. You know what to do. You have this.”
“You’re right. It’s just that this is so many more people than we’ve done before. And I want it to go really well.”
They had held events for each of Ellie’s new releases and they had gotten bigger and bigger each time. But Ellie had always wanted to keep the numbers fairly small. Even though she was able to sell out much larger event spaces for readings now, she wanted to feel as though she was reading to just friends when she was in Gloria’s store.
Peter wanted to have the biggest event he could have in the space. He only wanted to do one reading and signing instead of a full book tour. He had no plans to write another book ever. He hadn’t really planned on writing this one, but Ellie had convinced him he could reach more people this way than just through the outreach program of the charity they had set up. She reminded him that there were people who could do a lot of good in the world who would never join a group to do so.
Gloria was also sure that there were people who had signed up to listen to Peter who had done so hoping to see Ellie. She would never say that out loud to Peter, but honestly, he probably already knew. He was never intimidated by how successful Ellie’s writing career was. All of them had known she would be huge. Gloria was her original fan, but Peter and Jade had been there since college. You couldn’t help but fall in love with her worlds.
Owning a bookstore hadn’t been her original plan but looking back over her life she thought there was no other ending that would have felt as right. Every good thing in her life had come to her through books. Either reading them, recommending them, learning not to judge someone by the one they carried, or hitting someone in the face with them.
Today during Peter’s signing she and Jade would be announcing their own contribution to making the world what they wanted it to be. They would be starting up a free book program. Modeled after Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library they would be working with local groups to make sure every kid had books of their own. She and Jade had dreams of eventually having a scholastic book fair type set up with books, posters, and games for the kids to choose from. But for now, it was a selection of books that had been donated. New books. With plenty of choices.
Every good thing in her life had come to her through books. She couldn’t wait to pass that along.
“Uh, hon?”
“Yeah?”
“Does that look like more people that we were expecting?”
Gloria looked out the window and saw a massive line forming in the parking lot. Definitely more than they were expecting.
The bell on the back door rang as Ellie and Peter arrived.
Ellie called out, “We’re here! The interview went well! Did you see it?”
“We’re up here. I think we might have a problem.”
Ellie’s eyes widened, “Does the store really hold that many people?”
“No, it doesn’t. I think there were a lot of people watching that interview who decided to come check it out for themselves. I’m not sure what we are going to do.”
Peter laughed, “This is great!”
“No, it’s not. We were already sold out. I mean, we have some extra books, but I don’t even know if we have enough extra for all of them. And I can’t fit them inside. And they are going to be so pissed…”
“I’ve got a few boxes in the car that they sent me to sign, and we can sell those today, the publisher can send me replacements later. And we can let in the first wave of people, the ones with the tickets for the original event for the reading and let everyone else know that I will sign until my hand gives out if they want to stick around.”
Ellie chimed in, “I think I can help entertain the overflow crowd for a bit as well, I’ve actually got a piece I’ve been working on that we could give them a sneak preview. We will make sure that everyone has a good time.”
Jade took Gloria’s hand, “We’ve got this. We always do.”
Peter laughed, “Yes, we do! Let’s go be the change!”
Ellie smiled, “He’s still a little pumped from the interview. Let’s see how he feels after a few hours of signing Berranger over and over.”
“Peter B. works!”
“Alright, let’s get this party started.”
With that Gloria stepped outside to sort the crowd announcing the changes to the schedule and what they were going to do to make sure everyone left happy. She hadn’t needed to worry so much. Friendships were formed in that line that day that did end up changing the world.
Every good thing in her life had come from books.
Friday, December 13, 2024
Miscommunication
His father had always told him that someday his mouth would get him in trouble. He talked too much. No filter. If it popped in his head it came out of his mouth. He had two ears and one mouth. Listen more, talk less. Like his brother always did.
His brother was like his father, but without the cruel streak. He was a big listener. Didn't say a lot but when he spoke people paid attention. And agreed. Yes! That is exactly what they were trying to say. He was good at managing unruly groups of people. He would say that oftentimes what was happening was violent agreement. They all actually felt the same way but just had different ways of expressing it. Once you got people unlocked from those patterns they could work together.
He knew his brother would have handled this differently. Just another way he didn't measure up to their father's expectations for them both. He didn't resent his brother, infact if it weren't for his brother he wouldn't have even gotten this job. His brother recommended him for the work. Told everyone he was a good solid worker. Could be trusted. He didn't resent his brother for being better at things than he was, it wasn't his brother's fault he was the favored child any more than it was his fault that he wasn't.
Honestly though he really was the lucky one.
Not like, completely lucky, after all he was trapped underground in a cage with no real belief he was going to survive but still luckier than some.
When his exploration party had been captured it had all happened too fast for him to really understand exactly how it happened. After all the planet wasn't populated with anything they considered dangerous. There was life, but it wasn't like them so they had dismissed it as something to study not something to be worried about.
At least until the first few parties were abducted, now the rest of the settlers knew that they needed to be on guard and take some precautions. Apparently they had sent back messages to Earth for more weapons and they were experimenting with isolated burns, trying to eradicate the life without exploding their own homes.
He had picked up this information from his captors. They told him things. He wasn't sure if they did it on purpose or if it was just a side effect of the way they communicated. But he knew about what was happening on the surface. He knew what they needed from him. He knew what their plans were.
They needed him to learn how to speak. They didn't communicate through vocalization. They just knew what each other was thinking. Telepathy, but more than that. They were tied together, not just with each other, but with the entire planet. It was one giant organism in a way. Like mushrooms, or some other fungus. But that seemed sort of derogatory in his mind so he tried not to think of them like that. But that's the closest he could come to understanding them.
It was how his party had been taken. They knew where they were. They knew where everyone was, where everything was, and when they decided to take them the ground under them moved and swallowed them up. Brought them down under the surface, who knows how far, into this room. He and the others were put in cages, mud rooms really, and then the experiments started.
Like he said, he was lucky. The first person they tried communicating with they literally melted his brain. There was the smell. Like roasting meat. Then the smoke coming out of his ears. It would have been comical if it hadn't been terrifying.
All humans are is electric pulses. Every thought they have, every heartbeat, every nerve impulse. It's all electricity. These beings are the same. But they are at a much higher amperage than humans are. Putting all of that energy into a human brain did not work. It took them four tries at converting and reducing their output so human minds could handle it.
Luckily he was the fifth person they experimented on.
Their plan was simple. At least for them. They were going to travel to Earth and explain to the population that they were destroying the planet and that they needed to take care of the ecosystem that they were a part of before it was too late. Earth of the past. They were trying to decide when they would need to arrive to make the change before it was too late.
Apparently time is just a map. You could pick any spot on that map and go there, if you understood how the energy waves worked. And they did. He really wanted to get back to Earth and share that information with his brother. The things they could do with that knowledge. It was dizzying to think of.
But they didn't want to exploit the system, what they wanted to do was go back in time and stop the destruction of Earth. Stop the need for colonization of other planets. Stop them from destroying things they didn't understand.
For months now they had kept him in his cage. They had taken supplies when they took his party so he had food, though they all left the area when they would feed him. He could feel their disgust at what was in the MREs. He couldn't really blame them, they weren't the best tasting, but also it was deeper than that, it was what was in there.
They took their nutrition from the soil of their planet. And gave back to the soil what it needed through their waste. Honestly, he was disgusted at the thought of essentially eating poop so he couldn't blame them for being disgusted with him eating beef stew. To each their own.
But they had taken decent care of him. For awhile when there were more of his party still alive, he had had people to talk to. Now it was just him. And them. And they had learned how to communicate directly with him. He could understand them and they could understand him. They were just working on how to vocalize the words. They wouldn't be able to just tie into every Earthling's head the way they had with him. They wanted to be able to speak to them. To reason with them.
And that's where his mouth got him into trouble. Just like his father said it would. Though this time it was his mind. No filter. What he thought he shared.
He told them that there had been people who had tried that but it hadn't worked. That for decades before they used up all of the Earth's resources there were a lot of their own scientists that said it was happening. But nobody was willing to change. The thought that it was easier to just start going to other planets took hold and that was that. Infact, it had actually sped up the destruction of Earth when they started testing rockets and mining for the minerals needed to power them.
They spread a blanket of calm reason across his mind and explained that they would be able to make his people understand. They would show them how to care for the planet and what the damage they were doing would cause. Reason was the way to reach them.
He had laughed. And reminded them that when his people discovered that they were sentient beings, sentient beings that were not happy with the colonization of their planet, his people had sent messages back to Earth, not that they needed to leave, but that they need more weapons. Reason wasn't really going to work.
He felt it then. The first shift. He had gotten through to them. Just like his brother would have. He had listened to them and explained to them why what they were saying was flawed. He had done it. He had a moment of feeling proud.
Just a moment.
He wasn't sure what would happen to him now. They tried to explain to him. It would be instantaneous. And painless. But he couldn't wrap his head around it, even with their help.
Instead of trying to save Earth they would be going back to destroy it.
They didn't view it as total destruction, just a little alteration in the timeline. When that first being pulled itself from the primordial ooze it would be met with a life that was already formed, and it would be absorbed and then given back to the Earth to try again.
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
Ish Then...
Okay, after all of the back and forth in my head I've finally decided. I'm not leaving Facebook. Ish. I mean I'm leaving Facebook. Ish. I'm totally ishing.
The Terms and Services changes saying they can use my posts in perpetuity really bothers me. So clearly I cannot stay.
But the majority of my social circle is there. So clearly I cannot leave.
The Terms and Services changes saying that this is the last time you have a choice in being notified of changes and leaving really bothers me. So clearly I cannot stay.
But there are companies that I deal with who have moved almost their entire customer service department to Facebook messenger. So clearly I cannot leave.
Zuck has shown that he will not be any sort of bulwark against the onslaught of mis and dis information coming from the new regime. He's already bent the knee and shown his belly. So clearly I cannot stay.
But I have family that I only "see" on Facebook or Instagram. There are grands growing up that this is the place where pictures and stories are shared. I have family members who would never think to send a text or a letter but do occasionally post about new things in their lives. I would miss all of that. So clearly I cannot leave.
I have friends who are the same way. Some of them have migrated to Bluesky, but aren't as active. And as they aren't leaving Facebook or Instagram they never will be. Some of them live in different countries, or different time zones, or just different circadian rhythms, so connecting in real time is hard. Back and forth writing to be read when we are each awake works. Messenger works for that. So clearly I cannot leave.
My child is trans. I don't have a single picture of her growing up on display in my house. It causes her discomfort to see that little boy looking out at her. She doesn't feel connected to him at all. That's not who she is. But I have different memories of those times. I have a different experience. And on my On This Day page I get to see some of those things. Privately. Just for me. Without hurting her feelings. So clearly I cannot leave.
I have friends and family members who used to be on Facebook or Instagram who aren't anymore. Either by making the choice to leave, or because they are no longer living. I have memories that come up with those people on my On This Day feed. Or under pictures when I go back and look at them. As soon as I delete my Facebook page those are gone. So clearly I cannot leave.
As you can see the clearly I cannot leaves started to overtake the clearly I cannot stays. But it still doesn't feel right to stay. I will say that. I actually hate that I feel tied to the product in the way that I am. It's like tangle weed. The more you struggle the worse it gets.
I tried really hard to make it okay in my head to go. People will either follow me to Bluesky or won't. People will either text or they won't. As far as people who are gone? Well that's a normal part of life, isn't it? We lose friends and family all the time. And when we lose them we lose those old conversations. If we are lucky maybe we have a letter or two, we have a couple from Brent's dad that I treasure. But most of the time we don't.
I don't have any letters or notes from my parents. I have my dad's ring and one of his belt buckles, and his voice in my head telling me how to fix things. I have a few of my mother's owls and her voice in my head and her face in my mirror. We have all of Ann's patient records so I guess if we wanted to break her confidentiality we could go read those. We did see her patient notes on one client and it was pure Ann even as a therapist.
I go between begin grateful that I have the things on Facebook that I have and being resentful that the person/company that owns it is so gross. And it's my fault really. Not that he's gross. That's on him. But that I went along with it all. I even would post about it, free products aren't free. If you aren't being charged for a product you are the product. And I didn't really care. I didn't care that they were advertising to me. I've even bought things from those ads and been happy with them.
But each step in was a warning that I did not heed.
And now I'm a frog in a hot tub choosing to stay there.
Ish.
The ish is that I will not be deleting my accounts. But I won't be posting on them either. At least for now. I might change my mind later, but for now I will keep my posting to Bluesky. I do believe that anything that is on there right now Meta has already mined for whatever they want. I don't trust them or believe them that they will only start on January 1, 2025 after I log in for the first time.
The ish is that I will be using it only to keep up with friends and family and commenting on their things. Using messenger as needed to keep up with them. But my posting will be elsewhere. My new things will be elsewhere. If people want to see what's going on in my life they can follow me there, or read about it here.
Which should, after all this time, actually do that thing I keep trying to do, and reduce my time online. Bluesky is quieter right now. I imagine it will stay that way. Habits are hard to break. And most people don't give a rat's ass about what Facebook will do with their data. Nobody feels important enough for it to matter. And we aren't. Not individually. It's what they can do with large amounts of data from large groups of people that is more worrisome. But... ish.
Facebook has me trapped in a cage I built myself. With posts, photos, conversations, memories. I just can't bring myself to destroy what I've built.
Ish.
But the blog will live here Ghost now, it's honestly a better solution and I should have moved it ages ago. New posts, mostly cat pictures because that's my life, will be on Bluesky.
I'm not leaving.
I'm leaving.
Ish.
Tuesday, December 10, 2024
Christmas Spiritless
"I'm not sure why I bother."
"Because it's who you are."
"But does it have to be? I mean, I think I've done enough. And nobody really wants me around anymore."
"How can you say that? You're still the face of the whole season."
"Shh, don't say that too loudly or you'll get the 'Reason for the Season' people all riled up."
"They can have their reason, doesn't change that you are the face. Go into any store and there you are."
"No, there he is. That's not me, you know I don't look at all like that."
"Okay, so maybe it's not exactly what you look like, but it's what they think you look like, and it's all you, baby!"
"But it's not me. It doesn't look like me, it doesn't represent who I am. They made me a representation of greed instead of good."
"Greed is good."
"I know you think that's funny, but no. Don't quote movies at me right now. Greed is greed. It's too much. It's grabby. It's rude. It deserves a lump of coal. And not glorious clean coal nonsense. A giant lump of coal, maybe lobbed against a head."
"Oh, hey now, don't let them change you. You aren't the lobbing a lump of coal kind of guy. You're the gentle reminder to do better. You're the embodiment of good will."
"I was. I should be. But nobody wants that. Nobody likes the good guys. They are all in on the villains now. Greedy, grabby, hoarders. They want to be like them instead of despising them. What am I supposed to do about that?"
"Keep trying? Keep reminding them that they can listen to their better angels?"
"Are you saying that because you believe they can be reasoned with or because you know you'll be out of a job if I shut this place down?"
"Look, I don't do this job for the pay. Or the location. Or the hours. I do it because, like you, it's who I am. I was born to do this. It's in my DNA. My family has been here making Christmas happen for centuries, and not just Christmas but my family has been in the midwinter business since, well, since the beginning. There have been Elvens since before there was a Father Christmas. I don't usually pull rank, but you're the face and the figure, we are the whole shebang."
"I know. I'm sorry. That was out of line. I'm just tired. It's been a hard year."
"It has. And I'd like to tell you it's going to get better, but I think we're in for a hard stretch. We've had them before. But that's the time you are most needed. Remember when they were at war with each other and you got them to stop and play football and sing carols?"
"And then the next day they went back to killing each other?"
"Okay, sure, but they remembered that moment. That time where they saw each other as people, and it helped when the time came to lay down weapons. You know it did. It doesn't seem like much to you right now, but they still talk about it. It still brings them hope."
"But is that enough? I mean really. They want the villains, maybe we should just let them deal with it."
"Can you do that?"
"Maybe."
"I don't think so. I think you know you are needed more than ever. A little joy. A little peace. A little hope. They need that now. The ones that will make the change. And maybe you can leave a few lumps of coal laying around to encourage a little lobbing as well."
"Now there is an idea. A little good will and little warning. I think I can manage that."
"I think you can. And I think you have to."
"Alright, you've convinced me. Load up. We're off to spread a little Christmas spirit. As much of it as they'll take. Let's hope it does some good."