Don't judge me!

When I was young I heard one piece of advice that I have tried to keep in mind ever since.  You wouldn't worry so much about what people think of you if you realized how rarely they did.  Basically we all spend so much time worrying over what someone else's opinion of us is when really unless you are right there in the room with them odds are they aren't even thinking about you.  And it's true. That is it was until Facebook...

Now people post everything they are doing at all times and you can't help but think about them more often than you would have in a pre-facebook world. And you know more about them. Or at least you know more about what they choose to share. There are those that by reading their status updates and seeing their check-ins and pictures you are pretty sure they live in a fantasy land where nothing bad ever happens. Their marriages are perfect, their children spectacular and every day is an adventure in perfection. Then there are those that post only the dreary. Their health is precarious, their job is the pits, the world is a dark and scary place. And then there are the ones I want to talk about today....the drama queens and kings.

You know the ones...they post statuses like..."Don't judge me. You don't know who I am or what I am about." And I think to myself, I wouldn't judge you if you didn't present me with so much evidence in the case against you! Help me out here! You don't want me to think you are a slut? Don't post that you are "doing the walk of shame (AGAIN) and have no idea what the dude's name is...LOL..."  Because if you do, I am going to assume that LOL means lots of lice. And here is the real deal, I don't care if you sleep with everyone all the time. I really don't. Enjoy. Have a good time. But don't tell everyone about it and then get pissed off when people assume that you sleep with everyone, all the time.

Same thing goes with marriages. You want to post about how horrible your spouse is? How they don't understand you? Are mean to you? Are just a raging jerk all the time? Guess what? Everyone reading your status that doesn't know that your spouse is actually a decent person who is doing the best they can is going to believe everything you write about them. And they are going to wonder why you stay. And they are going to ask. And then when you get insulted about people "judging my marriage" you have only to read your own posts to see why.

And the pictures! Please, people, be mindful of the pictures! If every shot I see of you is in a bar, I'm going to assume you spend a lot of time out drinking. If every weekend there is another series of shots of you out with your friends and your wife is home with the kids I'm going to judge you there as well. It's human nature. You are painting a picture for me and because you are the one presenting it, I have to assume this is the face you want to show the world. So don't then get mad when someone says..."Dude, do you ever hang out with your wife and kids?" when faced with the 100th shot of you and your buddies and the girls from Hooters.

So what is the face you want to present through Facebook? Me? I'm a wife and a mom. My life isn't perfect but it's pretty damn good. I laugh A LOT. I want you all to laugh as well so I will tell jokes and share what I think is funny. I have definite political and social views and I will share those as well. My family is pretty awesome. I am extremely proud of my son. My husband cracks me up and puts up with my crazy shit and after 26 years together can you ask for much better than that?  My cat is hilarious and has his own page. My friends are all pretty awesome and when they have something they are proud of I will share that with you as well. And when I am pissed off I tend to get "ranty". And when I am sad I tend to get quiet. So judge away. If you have the wrong impression of me then really that's my fault. Or you haven't been paying enough attention, because it's all out there...or in here...