Friday, December 2, 2016


When you melt down how do you do it?

Oh come on, everyone melts down sometimes. How do you do it?

I am a fairly quiet freak out person. I get smaller and smaller and more contained in myself. Until I reach maximum minimum and then I blow up surprising everyone around me with the level and volume of my freak out. The getting smaller is the early warning but no one really pays attention to it because you don't notice someone getting smaller. Lack of something (unless it's food, sex or air) doesn't really register as much as excess of something.

I have been watching various freak outs over social media recently. There have been the political freak outs. Both sides. The ones freaking out in October because they were sure they were winning to the freak out in November when they lost. The ones freaking out in October because they were sure they were losing to the freak out in November when they won. The people feeling like they've got the freedom to REALLY let loose with their opinions now and people just need to suck it up because #trumpsamerica and those that are absolutely sure that they need to stand even more firm in their liberal ideals because #trumpsamerica.

I've watched people dealing with the news of Fidel Castro's death. I'm an American and a child of the 80s where the Cold War was an actual thing. He was always portrayed as a bad guy in my world. A REALLY bad guy. Learning later about Batista and how he was a REALLY bad guy as well, and how Castro could have been a hero (so close!) didn't really change that. Batista was a US backed dictator who raided his country's wealth for his (and his cronies) own pocketbook. Castro was a Russian backed dictator that did pretty much the same thing. Just with a different philosophy behind it. So as the reports have come out and I've watched people freak out that anyone would have anything good to say about Castro as well as people freaking out that people have no idea who Castro was except for the US tilted coverage I've found it interesting. Like I said I have my USA glasses on where he is concerned. In my world he was a bad guy. But that doesn't change the fact that I can see that there are Cuban people grieving his death so in their world he was something else. The world is a complicated place. Same way I feel about lifting the Cuban embargo. The embargo didn't do anything to help the problems, or sway the Castros. But it did hurt the Cuban people so something needed to change. And people freaked out about that as well.

We have the typical Christmastime freak outs. Not enough time. Not enough money. People not giving you the wish you want in exactly the way you want it, now with the additional flavor of #trumpsamerica WE SAY CHRISTMAS NOW, BITCHES! (Yes, I've seen it. No they don't get the irony in Merry Christmas said in anger.)

We have flag burning freak outs. We have anthem kneeling freak outs. We have peaceful protest freak outs. We have rioting freak outs. We have people freaking out over the thought of all of these things. And we have people freaking out over those people freaking out.

The flavor of most of these freak outs has been nasty. Not all of them. Some of them have been sad freak outs. But the majority have been nasty. Mean spirited. My side is better than yours. You are in a bubble and ignoring me so you are an idiot (while ignoring the fact that they are in a pretty thick bubble of their own.) Watching people freak out over a celebrity having an opinion and daring to share it while a day later they are sharing the opinion of a celebrity who agrees with them.

Have we just reached a point where the baseline is freak out? Where nasty is our go to? Where we are just incapable of dealing with each other in any way outside of total agreement or major freak out?

I cherish my friends that I disagree with who are capable of talking about why they feel the way they do without the freak out. Understanding that a discussion isn't a contest. That the point in having a conversation shouldn't be to make the other person agree with you. That aren't looking for the "gotcha" moment where they can declare you a hypocrite and smugly wander off to freak out at someone else. (You all already know I believe we are all hypocrites in one way or another so this to me is a weak sauce way of arguing a point, I will totally use it if you are bugging the shit out of me, but even then I will know in my mind it's weak sauce)

I'm not really sure where I wanted to go with this blog. I'm not even sure if I have a point. I just felt myself getting smaller over the past few days and knew I needed to get a little bigger or everyone was going to be in trouble. Let's call it a Holiday Gift.


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