Thursday, March 12, 2015

Well hell...

So I set out to write a blog today and knew that I had written on the subject before so I went back and found that old blog and re-read it to make sure it was the one I wanted to reference and I found...

The blog I wanted to write today.

Yeah, I didn't have a lot more to add to the subject. It would have been a very similar blog but with other examples from life. Other terms for the same actions. So now I am here with a blank page in front of me waiting for some inspiration to hit.


And an hour passes and I have a mostly blank page.


I think this is the worst part of wanting to write. Those days when you really feel like writing but then find you have nothing to say. Or nothing that will coalesce in to a coherent blog.

Random bits of thought that are just now starting.

A favorite author died today. He had a form of Alzheimer's disease. Early onset. This terrifies me. There are all of these studies about keeping your brain working and challenged to stave off dementia and Alzheimer's and then... If his brain wasn't busy and challenged I don't know whose is.

Death doesn't scare me. Being alive and fading away scares me. I've written about this in fiction and nonfiction pieces. I read every article, follow every promising development. Knowing full well that if it happens it happens and I can't do anything about it.

I'm working on a couple of short stories for the blog. Usually I just write in a speed frenzy and post, but sometimes I have half of an idea, or a feel of an idea and it takes me longer. There are two of those right now.They keep dancing at the edge of my consciousness but not fully forming. One I can see like a movie. I see the opening scene, the elevator doors opening...I know some of the lines I want to be said. I know the feeling that I want to convey. I have no idea how I want to end it.

Sometimes that doesn't bother me. The flash story I posted yesterday was actually just four lines that came to me on the treadmill one morning that finally turned in to a sort of conversation. But I had no ending. As you can pretty much see from the story. In fact I almost just left it mid story and posted anyway. Just walked away like you were eavesdropping on their conversation and got pulled away.

But this other story? I like it too much to leave it half done. I like the feel and the tone and the main character. I have a feeling she will come up in other stories at other times. She might even join up with the wish granter from the story a few days ago. I need to figure out her name...both the wish granter from the other story and this woman. She needs a great name.

Names. I have such a hard time with names. Nine times out of ten the characters in my story are named after the last people I talked to on Facebook or got a text from. Sometimes I think I have found an original name and I am halfway through the story and realize it's actually just the kid of the last person I talked to instead of them. Of course that's if they even get a name. You know how many things I write where there are only two characters so I don't even bother giving them names at all. Ugh. It's amazing I ever named my son. And it's amazing that he actually has like a half dozen names we call him. Though to be fair The Boy is the main one. I told you I was lousy at this!

After a really long stretch of good sleeping patterns I'm back in an insomnia cycle. And it's the worst type of my cycles. Can't get to sleep until really late. Sleep for a very short amount of time and then can't get back to sleep. Finally start to drift off as the alarm goes off for the day. Last night was day 7 of this particular swing. I actually stayed in bed two days this week after Brent left for work. That doesn't normally happen even on days he takes the car. Worked on Tuesday and I got an extra hour and half sleep. Today? Not so much. See even if I wanted to sleep in the rest of the neighborhood didn't. Rude.

And yes, I totally see the connection between the insomnia and the writer's block. It's hard to hold on to a thought for very long when you are just bone tired.

Okay, well I am hopeful that I've cleared the pipes enough that something good takes hold for tomorrow.

I wish us all luck....

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