Monday, September 15, 2014

Three point four....

"You might want to hold off on bars. I am going to cut our carbs as soon as we get through what we have in the pantry right now."

Wary voice..."Why?"

"Because I am sick of my weight and want to move the dial. That usually works."

Still wary voice..."Okay..."

You think you are tired of hearing about weight issues? Imagine poor Brent.

Yes, this was a conversation in the grocery story yesterday. Yes he has every reason to be wary. I love carbs. My favorite things are carbs. Tortillas, pastas, breads, crackers, desserts. When we have gone super low carb in the past we lost weight sure, but I also got really really cranky and swore SWORE I wouldn't do it again because it wasn't worth it. 

But that was before...this is now.

Before the 3.4 pounds.

About six weeks ago we had a little spate of wet weather. I threw on a pair of jeans instead of the skirts I wear all summer. Okay I didn't throw them on. I wiggled in to them. Oh holy crap what happened here? So then I got on the scale...Oh. Well that happened. I was 3.4 pounds over my top end weight. Which doesn't seem like much but I try never to hit the top end of the range. That's why it's a range. Stick in the middle. So I thought "Well, I need to lose about 5 pounds, no big deal." I stepped up the level of my workouts at the gym by a couple of ticks. Weighed in again a week later and... 3.4 pounds.  What the heck?

So then I changed up what I was eating through the day.

Scale. 3.4 pounds.

Okay, let Brent know that I was going to cut back on desserts. So uptick in workouts, a little shift of day food, no desserts boom! Step on the scale...3.4 pounds.

Fine. I will go back to tracking everything because obviously I am doing something and not realizing it. Re-install good old MyFitnessPal and start the tracking again.

Step on the scale 3.4 pounds.

And I step on the scale three times a week. Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 3.4 pounds.

M-F I workout, I eat right, I track. So my Friday weight should be awesome right? 3.4 pounds.

On the weekend I do what I want. Eat what I want and sit around watching a lot of sports and reading books. So Monday should be scary right? I mean last night for dinner I had two pieces of fried chicken, chips with guacamole and a big bowl of berries with whipped cream on them. Today? 3.4 pounds. 

Wednesday is halfway through. So any damage from the weekend spree should be starting to lift. 3.4 pounds.

It would be funny if it weren't so frustrating. It would become a huge experiment EAT ALL THE THINGS!  EAT NONE OF THE THINGS! if it weren't so frustrating. It wouldn't be a big deal at all except it is. 

As I was talking to Brent about it this morning he said, "I would say that your weight is just as stubborn as you are." 

Yes, it appears so.

So now I am looking at going low carb again. Even though it makes me cranky to diet. Even though low carb especially makes me cranky. I just want the needle to move. Five pounds. It's not so much to ask right? But I can't even get past the 3.4 so apparently it is...what the heck? Why do I keep doing this stupid dance. Weight goes up. First comes the denial. The false acceptance. Then comes the realization that something needs done. Then the frustration that it doesn't go anywhere. Rinse and repeat. For decades...

This morning I was washing walls before I start painting tomorrow. I keep a clean house. I really do. But you would never guess it from the grime I got off of the walls. Ick. How does that happen? As I cleaned the walls and the baseboards and door jambs I realized that repainting the walls is going to mean I need to paint the door jambs and baseboards as well. Little chips and bits that have been banged out moving furniture around. Slap some paint on it and it will look all fresh and new. Even though the bangs and dings will still be there. Under the paint. Just looking better. Until they chip off again and you can see the issues are all still there. 

Not sure why that really stuck with me today....

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