I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I am not sure if it's because I am in a constant state of change so resolving to change would be redundant. Or if it's because I know that most people make these grandiose change declarations and then give up on them within a few weeks so why set yourself up for failure. Or if it's because I hate going with the crowd. I think it's probably more to do with the season.
My big drive for massive change hits at two times each year. Late spring and late summer. I tie these back to school age times. Every spring I would think about what I wanted to accomplish over the summer. Usually it was big things like, get a tan, lose some weight, get a great wardrobe for back to school. I have no idea why I thought one summer would be different from the last and that I would all of a sudden be able to tan my lighter shade of pale skin, lose the weight that wasn't fat but was just me or get the money for that wardrobe. But I had BIG PLANS every summer to do just that. And every August as it was time to go back to school I went back with my pale skin, my curves and my second hand clothes.
Then the second round of resolutions would hit. This year would be different! I would apply myself! I would go to ALL of my classes, EVERY day! I would work hard, study hard, live up to my full potential! I would stop writing my papers for Honor's English the period before! I would...wait...every day? All of the classes? Even the boring ones? Hmmm...yeah...no. That one would last about a week, sometimes less. My junior year I didn't even make it to all of my classes on the first day. It was my birthday! What was I supposed to do?
So now I don't tend to make resolutions at all, but I do feel the pull for change those times of the year. April was when I decided to lose weight two years ago. August was the first 365 Day Challenge and now the "published before I'm 43" challenge. And really aren't those the same resolutions I have always made? Lose weight over the summer, live up to my potential in the fall? Interesting how no matter how much we think we have changed we are still living our old patterns half the time.
But I am still watching my friends as they all work on their resolutions for 2011. Health and money seem to be the big ones. People want to have more of both. I wish everyone luck! The desire to change is the first step towards change. So even wanting to lose weight, stop smoking, get to the gym, write that novel just the wanting to parts...those are good first steps! Now just decide how to take the second and third ones.
Oh and as for that other big change time of year? I always tell everyone what I am giving up for Lent are my New Year's Resolutions!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
...the gift.
The real title of this blog should be something like..."Family Traditions and my big mouth" but that seemed really long so I went with "the gift" instead.
Now most of you that follow my blog also see my photos on Facebook and saw the picture last year of "The Gift" this is the present that C could open the Christmas after his 18th birthday. Today was the day. After waiting every Christmas for as far back as he could remember, today he got to open this gift. The end of a family tradition. Next year the gift won't be re-wrapped and placed under the tree as the first gift, it won't be there as the last gift. It won't be there at all. Which then got me thinking about other family traditions...
The Clifton side of the family has a long standing Christmas Day tradition. The White Elephant gift exchange. Each member brings a gift, a really horrid cheesy gift and we draw numbers and exchange and steal them and exchange and steal and so on until the end. It's fun, it's rowdy, it's Christmas. Now the rule is, you have to pay to play. Kids, adults, grandparents, family, friends, first timers or every Christmas you're there, you bring a gift to get a gift. And this is where two traditions collide...
When Brent first got out of the Navy we went back to New Mexico to live for a couple of years. C was 3 at the time and we weren't sure if he would want to play during the gift exchange. Three year olds aren't so keen on getting their presents taken from them, you see. So we bought a cheesy gift, wrapped it up and tossed in the bag to take to my brother and sister's house just in case. Turned out C didn't want to play the exchange game so the gift stayed in the bag. Thinking ahead I tossed it away with our Christmas supplies to bring the next year. Well the next year Brent's folks decided to come up from Alamogordo on Christmas Day so we only spent part of the day Christmas with my side of the family and didn't do the gift exchange. The present stayed under the tree.
As we were finishing up with the gifts C said that there was still one there and whose was it? I said it was his, because it was, and he then asked if he could open it. Well I have been known to pop off sometimes and this is one of those times...I told him not until he was 18. No big deal right? He was 4 at the time so what were the odds that this would come back to bite me? Ah...but C was not your typical 4 year old. With a mind like a steel trap the next Christmas came around and as we were unpacking the decorations, out comes the gift and he says, "That's mine but I can't open it until I am 18."
So every year we would re-wrap the gift, I am a little distracted by shiny things and so a new coat of paper would freshen up the gift. Every year it would go back under the tree, first gift under, last gift out. And the legend around it grew as well as the size of the gift. That's a lot of wrapping paper.
A couple years ago Brent and I started to get a little worried, we knew what the gift was but in C's mind it had reached epic proportions. This was THE GIFT he could open at 18, this was going to be great. Now we had a couple of choices, we could come clean right then and there and tell him what it was, we could change what was in THE GIFT or we could let it play out and hope for the best. We decided that in our family the funny really is the thing so we would do that latter. But we did do some well placed hints to try and lessen C's expectations.
So today was the day...C opened all of the other presents and THE GIFT was the last present under the tree. With its new wrapping and for the first year ever, ribbons.
Now the momentous task of unwrapping THE GIFT, each layer of paper was undone separately. 1,2,3,4...11,12,13,14,15...a pile of paper to the side of him...
Finally! C got to hold in his hand THE GIFT! The one he has waited every Christmas to open! And it was...
Yes, that's a roll of Christmas themed toilet paper. And yes, C is smiling. The funny is the thing in this family and really, that is THE GIFT we have given to him, this year and every year. I hope your holiday has been filled with smiles and laughter and love. Ours has. (Even if C might want to know what the exchange time limit is on new parents right about now)
Merry Christmas!
Now most of you that follow my blog also see my photos on Facebook and saw the picture last year of "The Gift" this is the present that C could open the Christmas after his 18th birthday. Today was the day. After waiting every Christmas for as far back as he could remember, today he got to open this gift. The end of a family tradition. Next year the gift won't be re-wrapped and placed under the tree as the first gift, it won't be there as the last gift. It won't be there at all. Which then got me thinking about other family traditions...
The Clifton side of the family has a long standing Christmas Day tradition. The White Elephant gift exchange. Each member brings a gift, a really horrid cheesy gift and we draw numbers and exchange and steal them and exchange and steal and so on until the end. It's fun, it's rowdy, it's Christmas. Now the rule is, you have to pay to play. Kids, adults, grandparents, family, friends, first timers or every Christmas you're there, you bring a gift to get a gift. And this is where two traditions collide...
When Brent first got out of the Navy we went back to New Mexico to live for a couple of years. C was 3 at the time and we weren't sure if he would want to play during the gift exchange. Three year olds aren't so keen on getting their presents taken from them, you see. So we bought a cheesy gift, wrapped it up and tossed in the bag to take to my brother and sister's house just in case. Turned out C didn't want to play the exchange game so the gift stayed in the bag. Thinking ahead I tossed it away with our Christmas supplies to bring the next year. Well the next year Brent's folks decided to come up from Alamogordo on Christmas Day so we only spent part of the day Christmas with my side of the family and didn't do the gift exchange. The present stayed under the tree.
As we were finishing up with the gifts C said that there was still one there and whose was it? I said it was his, because it was, and he then asked if he could open it. Well I have been known to pop off sometimes and this is one of those times...I told him not until he was 18. No big deal right? He was 4 at the time so what were the odds that this would come back to bite me? Ah...but C was not your typical 4 year old. With a mind like a steel trap the next Christmas came around and as we were unpacking the decorations, out comes the gift and he says, "That's mine but I can't open it until I am 18."
So every year we would re-wrap the gift, I am a little distracted by shiny things and so a new coat of paper would freshen up the gift. Every year it would go back under the tree, first gift under, last gift out. And the legend around it grew as well as the size of the gift. That's a lot of wrapping paper.
A couple years ago Brent and I started to get a little worried, we knew what the gift was but in C's mind it had reached epic proportions. This was THE GIFT he could open at 18, this was going to be great. Now we had a couple of choices, we could come clean right then and there and tell him what it was, we could change what was in THE GIFT or we could let it play out and hope for the best. We decided that in our family the funny really is the thing so we would do that latter. But we did do some well placed hints to try and lessen C's expectations.
So today was the day...C opened all of the other presents and THE GIFT was the last present under the tree. With its new wrapping and for the first year ever, ribbons.
Now the momentous task of unwrapping THE GIFT, each layer of paper was undone separately. 1,2,3,4...11,12,13,14,15...a pile of paper to the side of him...
Finally! C got to hold in his hand THE GIFT! The one he has waited every Christmas to open! And it was...
Yes, that's a roll of Christmas themed toilet paper. And yes, C is smiling. The funny is the thing in this family and really, that is THE GIFT we have given to him, this year and every year. I hope your holiday has been filled with smiles and laughter and love. Ours has. (Even if C might want to know what the exchange time limit is on new parents right about now)
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
How was your weekend?
Did you do anything fun? Did you have a nice Thanksgiving? Start the Christmas Shopping? Family in town for a visit?
Pretty normal questions to ask after a long holiday weekend, right? Heck even, So what did you do last night? is a pretty normal conversation starter. Happens every day in every work place around the country right? Now try to have that conversation without mentioning your family. Never ever mentioning your spouse. And then take it a step further and never even ask the questions of your co-workers. Don't ask, don't tell. Don't talk about your life outside of work. Ever. Even when your job is protecting the freedoms of the rest of your country.
That's don't ask don't tell. That's what we are asking out of our men and women who serve our country. If you happen to want to volunteer to serve, making less money and let's face it with two wars going on, risking your life and you also happen to be homosexual you can do it, you just cannot ever ever speak of the people who mean the most to you back home.
People get stuck in these petty little circles where they try to decide what is best for our service men and women. You hear constantly that they might be "uncomfortable" with serving with openly homosexual people. Give me a break. One, how many of you have friends that have come out? Are you telling me that you had no clue up until the moment that they announced they were gay? Most of us know, we just wait to be told because we consider it polite not to out someone. Secondly, are you uncomfortable serving with a woman who finds you attractive but you don't? Or conversely a man? Now, I have been married since God was a child, but I do remember back to when I was single. I got hit on from time to time by guys I had no interest in. I told them no. And that was that. Trust me, you are not so attractive that a gay man or a lesbian woman will have no control over themselves and will throw themselves at you. Personally I would have been much more "uncomfortable" working with a bigot in any job I held than with a lesbian woman who thought I was attractive.
History shows the same arguments were made against desegregation and racial integration in the armed forces as well as against women serving that are now being made against openly gay service members. We figured out that was wrong, why is this such a stumbling block? It is an honor and a privilege to serve your country. It is also an extremely difficult job and not one that most choose to hold. If we have bright, talented, dedicated men and women volunteering to do this job then why would we tell them no? Why do we care what their sexual orientation is in the first place? We don't care if you are straight how about we don't care if you are gay either? Being gay isn't a disease and it's not contagious. So stop being such a freak about it. You like members of the opposite sex, great! Good for you! When did you make that choice again? Oh you didn't...so it's not likely that you are all of a sudden going to make a choice to be gay because Jimmy over there happens to be gay. And Jimmy isn't going to pursue you when he knows that you aren't gay, sorry, hun, even as wonderful as you think you are, Jimmy is going to pursue other gay men not you. That's the way it works.
Brent was in the Navy, my father was in the Army, Brent's father was in the Army and the Reserves. I don't speak from a non-military background. I understand what it means to serve. I understand what it means to be a team. I understand about unit cohesion. If you cannot imagine yourself serving with someone who is different than you are then don't serve. I won't ask you to, you don't tell me you will. How is that for don't ask don't tell?
Pretty normal questions to ask after a long holiday weekend, right? Heck even, So what did you do last night? is a pretty normal conversation starter. Happens every day in every work place around the country right? Now try to have that conversation without mentioning your family. Never ever mentioning your spouse. And then take it a step further and never even ask the questions of your co-workers. Don't ask, don't tell. Don't talk about your life outside of work. Ever. Even when your job is protecting the freedoms of the rest of your country.
That's don't ask don't tell. That's what we are asking out of our men and women who serve our country. If you happen to want to volunteer to serve, making less money and let's face it with two wars going on, risking your life and you also happen to be homosexual you can do it, you just cannot ever ever speak of the people who mean the most to you back home.
People get stuck in these petty little circles where they try to decide what is best for our service men and women. You hear constantly that they might be "uncomfortable" with serving with openly homosexual people. Give me a break. One, how many of you have friends that have come out? Are you telling me that you had no clue up until the moment that they announced they were gay? Most of us know, we just wait to be told because we consider it polite not to out someone. Secondly, are you uncomfortable serving with a woman who finds you attractive but you don't? Or conversely a man? Now, I have been married since God was a child, but I do remember back to when I was single. I got hit on from time to time by guys I had no interest in. I told them no. And that was that. Trust me, you are not so attractive that a gay man or a lesbian woman will have no control over themselves and will throw themselves at you. Personally I would have been much more "uncomfortable" working with a bigot in any job I held than with a lesbian woman who thought I was attractive.
History shows the same arguments were made against desegregation and racial integration in the armed forces as well as against women serving that are now being made against openly gay service members. We figured out that was wrong, why is this such a stumbling block? It is an honor and a privilege to serve your country. It is also an extremely difficult job and not one that most choose to hold. If we have bright, talented, dedicated men and women volunteering to do this job then why would we tell them no? Why do we care what their sexual orientation is in the first place? We don't care if you are straight how about we don't care if you are gay either? Being gay isn't a disease and it's not contagious. So stop being such a freak about it. You like members of the opposite sex, great! Good for you! When did you make that choice again? Oh you didn't...so it's not likely that you are all of a sudden going to make a choice to be gay because Jimmy over there happens to be gay. And Jimmy isn't going to pursue you when he knows that you aren't gay, sorry, hun, even as wonderful as you think you are, Jimmy is going to pursue other gay men not you. That's the way it works.
Brent was in the Navy, my father was in the Army, Brent's father was in the Army and the Reserves. I don't speak from a non-military background. I understand what it means to serve. I understand what it means to be a team. I understand about unit cohesion. If you cannot imagine yourself serving with someone who is different than you are then don't serve. I won't ask you to, you don't tell me you will. How is that for don't ask don't tell?
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The work is over...
I thought it would be appropriate to finish out the work series before the long holiday weekend so here we go...
Last I left you I was finishing school and working part time for Scott Dickinson doing odd jobs for his organization. I finished them both right about the same time and starting working as a professional massage therapist. Now, I am not going to talk about that job in this series since I am still doing it and there is another blog about that coming...maybe next week. Maybe. Anyway...though I thought I had finished with advertising and KFC I discovered maybe I wasn't so done after all.
As I told you before SN was a brilliant Ad Man. Really good at the client relationships, good pitch guy, decent ideas...but what he wasn't was a good business man. He never understood the balance that must happen between the comes ins and the goes outs. And eventually if you have more goes outs than comes ins you can't keep your business running anymore. As L/N started to dissolve AFA came back on the scene. They were in Portland pitching the A&W business and let the KFC group know they were interested in their business as well. After a few meetings it was decided that the co-op would leave L/N and move to AFA.
I met with Bruce Phillips during this transition and he asked me if I would be interested in coming back on as the account manager for the co-op. Seems as though when he asked the guys what they liked about their time with L/N my name kept coming up. That and I was local and the guys really liked the idea of having someone local. It was very flattering. Not only that my guys wanted me back but that AFA would consider hiring me. So I told him no way.
Shocked? Yes, I was flattered, yes the money would have been better than starting up a massage business, yes it would have been nice to be able to work from home. But I left advertising. I had no urge to go back to it at all. So I said, thank you but no thank you. And thought that was the end of my time in advertising for sure.
Then SD called me and we talked about it and he used the whole "personal favor to me" line. What are you going to do when someone who has not only provided you with a job for the past year so you could chase a dream but literally saved your life asks you for a favor? So I called Bruce and told him I would come back. Part time and on a temporary basis. Only long enough to get the business transitioned over to AFA and help the guys handle the changes that would be happening.
It turns out that this was the best decision for myself and for the co-op that I could have made. Remember way back when when I was a bookkeeper and spent a lot of time doing the forensic work? Well that was needed during the transition. There were financial records that needed unwound as well as the normal marketing and advertising items that needed taken care of along with the bridge between the co-op and AFA. I spent a lot of time acting as an interpreter in meetings. AFA has a HUGE chunk of the KFC market nationally and it works best for them to be able to do things alike in all their co-ops. My group had been an island to themselves for years with just me taking care of things in my own way. Now we needed to figure out how to make the spreadsheets they were used to looking at match up with the information they would be getting from AFA.
For awhile it meant doing everything twice for me. But it was really very interesting. I was sort of like a kid in a candy store. I had been handed the opportunity to dig through mountains of research, tons of information on other co-ops, other areas, other sales promotions. And the more I found the more I would dive in. It was very tempting for awhile to change my mind and stay. I went to Salt Lake City (one of the two AFA branch locations) for an orientation for me and a big A&W meeting for the agency and spent some time talking with everyone there and I almost, almost caved in during that stretch and asked for a full time job.
I am going to make you go back in your memory to when I first came back to L/N and I talked about how helpful everyone across the country was? Well Cathy Knowlson who handled the Seattle co-op at the time was one of the most helpful to me. She had no reason to ever help me, first off we were always in competition for each other's accounts. We had some cross over membership and it would have been a nice feather for either of our caps to take the other account. She also had been in discussions with SN before I came on about a possible partnership, but once I started (along with a misstep on SN's part regarding her partner) that idea fell by the wayside. So bottom line is she had every reason to let me flounder and fail and it would have been more beneficial to her to do so. But she didn't. She helped me whenever I called, she offered up help when I didn't even know I needed it.
So fast forward to this time period. Now Cathy has left her agency in Seattle and is with AFA in Salt Lake bringing the Seattle co-op and her media director with her. I spent some time with Cathy during my visit and she almost had me. We see the way things should be run in very similar ways. She saw in me someone that would be able to not only follow a process but be able to establish one as well. And face it, I am not shy about stating my opinion, so she also saw someone who would be able to stand up to Bruce and Bud and let them know when things needed changed as well. I would have been working for her and for Bruce and with my current co-op and then adding in others as well. It was very tempting.
But the one thing I was starting to realize was that it wasn't just L/N that I left, it was advertising all together. I will always be grateful for the lessons I learned, the friends I made and the experiences I had, but that chapter of my life was over. I had stayed informed on the business through my ties to SD during my year away from the co-op and frankly it was because I knew things were going badly at L/N. But now that they were with AFA and they had Bruce as their main account person and Cathy's knowledge of the area and Carrie as a media director they didn't need me. Then Carrie left. Sounds familiar right? What is it with media director's leaving when I am ready to quit a job? Ah, but this time I was prepared! What AFA really needed for their system wasn't a media director/planner Bruce and Cathy handled all of that what they needed was a media buyer. And I had one up my sleeve. Leata Sedlacek our world class buyer from L/N came on board at AFA and I was out the door.
I kept tabs for awhile through SD just to make sure everything was going well, I felt a strong sense of personal and professional responsibility for the group and for the move to AFA working out. But as I knew it would, things went along just fine. Bruce is a pro, Cathy is a genius, Leata is a wizard and the account is well handled and well managed. I knew I was finally done with that chapter of my life when the first advertising window for KFC came on television that was a total surprise to me.
So there you have it. How I went from gas station assistant to massage therapist in 472 easy steps. So what are the overarching themes here? What did I learn through all of this? I guess the basics are simple. As basics are. :-)
1. Work hard. No matter what the job is you need to do it to the best of your ability. Good things come to those that are willing to work for them.
2. Accept challenges. If you are given a chance to do something new, take it! You never know what can come of it, or what skill you can pick up that will be helpful later on.
3. Don't be afraid to ask for help. People like to help each other. And people will learn to trust that you know what you know and you are willing to find out what you don't.
4. Be yourself. You can't be anyone else, so you might as well embrace who you are and run with it.
5. Know your strengths. Play to what you do best and you will go far. Or you will stay in one spot and have a heck of a good time there!
6. Know when to leave. This lesson is the one that keeps eluding me. I am working on it. But know when it's time to leave a job and move on to the next one.
And on that note, thanks for sticking with me through this very long and very spread out series. I hope it was interesting to you, it was a nice walk down memory lane for me!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I will be back next week with more totally random but...
Last I left you I was finishing school and working part time for Scott Dickinson doing odd jobs for his organization. I finished them both right about the same time and starting working as a professional massage therapist. Now, I am not going to talk about that job in this series since I am still doing it and there is another blog about that coming...maybe next week. Maybe. Anyway...though I thought I had finished with advertising and KFC I discovered maybe I wasn't so done after all.
As I told you before SN was a brilliant Ad Man. Really good at the client relationships, good pitch guy, decent ideas...but what he wasn't was a good business man. He never understood the balance that must happen between the comes ins and the goes outs. And eventually if you have more goes outs than comes ins you can't keep your business running anymore. As L/N started to dissolve AFA came back on the scene. They were in Portland pitching the A&W business and let the KFC group know they were interested in their business as well. After a few meetings it was decided that the co-op would leave L/N and move to AFA.
I met with Bruce Phillips during this transition and he asked me if I would be interested in coming back on as the account manager for the co-op. Seems as though when he asked the guys what they liked about their time with L/N my name kept coming up. That and I was local and the guys really liked the idea of having someone local. It was very flattering. Not only that my guys wanted me back but that AFA would consider hiring me. So I told him no way.
Shocked? Yes, I was flattered, yes the money would have been better than starting up a massage business, yes it would have been nice to be able to work from home. But I left advertising. I had no urge to go back to it at all. So I said, thank you but no thank you. And thought that was the end of my time in advertising for sure.
Then SD called me and we talked about it and he used the whole "personal favor to me" line. What are you going to do when someone who has not only provided you with a job for the past year so you could chase a dream but literally saved your life asks you for a favor? So I called Bruce and told him I would come back. Part time and on a temporary basis. Only long enough to get the business transitioned over to AFA and help the guys handle the changes that would be happening.
It turns out that this was the best decision for myself and for the co-op that I could have made. Remember way back when when I was a bookkeeper and spent a lot of time doing the forensic work? Well that was needed during the transition. There were financial records that needed unwound as well as the normal marketing and advertising items that needed taken care of along with the bridge between the co-op and AFA. I spent a lot of time acting as an interpreter in meetings. AFA has a HUGE chunk of the KFC market nationally and it works best for them to be able to do things alike in all their co-ops. My group had been an island to themselves for years with just me taking care of things in my own way. Now we needed to figure out how to make the spreadsheets they were used to looking at match up with the information they would be getting from AFA.
For awhile it meant doing everything twice for me. But it was really very interesting. I was sort of like a kid in a candy store. I had been handed the opportunity to dig through mountains of research, tons of information on other co-ops, other areas, other sales promotions. And the more I found the more I would dive in. It was very tempting for awhile to change my mind and stay. I went to Salt Lake City (one of the two AFA branch locations) for an orientation for me and a big A&W meeting for the agency and spent some time talking with everyone there and I almost, almost caved in during that stretch and asked for a full time job.
I am going to make you go back in your memory to when I first came back to L/N and I talked about how helpful everyone across the country was? Well Cathy Knowlson who handled the Seattle co-op at the time was one of the most helpful to me. She had no reason to ever help me, first off we were always in competition for each other's accounts. We had some cross over membership and it would have been a nice feather for either of our caps to take the other account. She also had been in discussions with SN before I came on about a possible partnership, but once I started (along with a misstep on SN's part regarding her partner) that idea fell by the wayside. So bottom line is she had every reason to let me flounder and fail and it would have been more beneficial to her to do so. But she didn't. She helped me whenever I called, she offered up help when I didn't even know I needed it.
So fast forward to this time period. Now Cathy has left her agency in Seattle and is with AFA in Salt Lake bringing the Seattle co-op and her media director with her. I spent some time with Cathy during my visit and she almost had me. We see the way things should be run in very similar ways. She saw in me someone that would be able to not only follow a process but be able to establish one as well. And face it, I am not shy about stating my opinion, so she also saw someone who would be able to stand up to Bruce and Bud and let them know when things needed changed as well. I would have been working for her and for Bruce and with my current co-op and then adding in others as well. It was very tempting.
But the one thing I was starting to realize was that it wasn't just L/N that I left, it was advertising all together. I will always be grateful for the lessons I learned, the friends I made and the experiences I had, but that chapter of my life was over. I had stayed informed on the business through my ties to SD during my year away from the co-op and frankly it was because I knew things were going badly at L/N. But now that they were with AFA and they had Bruce as their main account person and Cathy's knowledge of the area and Carrie as a media director they didn't need me. Then Carrie left. Sounds familiar right? What is it with media director's leaving when I am ready to quit a job? Ah, but this time I was prepared! What AFA really needed for their system wasn't a media director/planner Bruce and Cathy handled all of that what they needed was a media buyer. And I had one up my sleeve. Leata Sedlacek our world class buyer from L/N came on board at AFA and I was out the door.
I kept tabs for awhile through SD just to make sure everything was going well, I felt a strong sense of personal and professional responsibility for the group and for the move to AFA working out. But as I knew it would, things went along just fine. Bruce is a pro, Cathy is a genius, Leata is a wizard and the account is well handled and well managed. I knew I was finally done with that chapter of my life when the first advertising window for KFC came on television that was a total surprise to me.
So there you have it. How I went from gas station assistant to massage therapist in 472 easy steps. So what are the overarching themes here? What did I learn through all of this? I guess the basics are simple. As basics are. :-)
1. Work hard. No matter what the job is you need to do it to the best of your ability. Good things come to those that are willing to work for them.
2. Accept challenges. If you are given a chance to do something new, take it! You never know what can come of it, or what skill you can pick up that will be helpful later on.
3. Don't be afraid to ask for help. People like to help each other. And people will learn to trust that you know what you know and you are willing to find out what you don't.
4. Be yourself. You can't be anyone else, so you might as well embrace who you are and run with it.
5. Know your strengths. Play to what you do best and you will go far. Or you will stay in one spot and have a heck of a good time there!
6. Know when to leave. This lesson is the one that keeps eluding me. I am working on it. But know when it's time to leave a job and move on to the next one.
And on that note, thanks for sticking with me through this very long and very spread out series. I hope it was interesting to you, it was a nice walk down memory lane for me!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I will be back next week with more totally random but...
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Toucha toucha toucha touch me.....
Rant time....
The first week of December I will go in to an office, I will disrobe, I will have a complete stranger take each of my breasts in turn in her hand and place them on a machine which will then smash it flat as can be and x-ray it. My privates will be touched, my body will be scanned and they will keep the pictures in a computer file that could be breached at any point by mysterious hackers out there that only live to find blurry pictures of people's privates to put online. And I will subject myself to this as I do every year because I would rather take every precaution to keep myself safe than not. I have no history of breast cancer, I have no family history of breast cancer, but I still have the test, just because it's better to be safe than sorry. Do you see where I am going with this yet?
I am not sure if it's because when Brent and I got married he was a Nuclear Engineer so the word radiation doesn't freak me out...or if it's because I am a massage therapist so the thought of touching someone or someone touching me doesn't make me want to run for the hills but I have to say all of the people squawking about the new airport security measures are boggling my brain.
I will tell you upfront that I have had the enhanced screening pat down before. In my former job I traveled a lot. Four different times I was pulled for the extra searches. Once for the quick check through the bags, once for the full unpack look at all of your things, once for the enhanced pat down and once for a positive explosive residue test. So when I talk about the enhanced screening I am not talking about what ifs I am talking from the experience of having it done.
Okay, so all of the upfront warnings are in place. Now I have to ask (cover your ears because this is going to be a cusser blog) What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you seriously so squeamish that someone is going to see a blurry picture of your private parts that you can't walk through a scanner? And then when given the ability to opt out you also don't want someone to touch you either? Sure you know you aren't a terrorist but do I? I saw someone on the news today talk about how they should just do extra profiling...Okay, so what terrorist suspect do you want them to base their profile on? Ahmed al-Haznawi (9/11 Hijacker) or Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (Underwear Bomber) or Timothy McVeigh? Okay it was not a plane but blowing up a building sure counts as a terrorist in my book.
Google those three and tell me how to profile against them based on looks alone. Only men should be screened? Oh no, wait, there are women suicide bombers out there as well. So what do you want done? Last Christmas when the Underwear Bomber struck (and failed, thank goodness) people were in an uproar! How could he have gotten explosives on just by hiding them in his jock?? Outrageous! Something MUST be done...except don't look at my privates and for goodness sake don't touch them! But SOMETHING must be done!
I have heard arguments about the dose of radiation you get from the scanner. Did you know it's 1/1000 the amount you get from a dental x-ray? I don't know about you but I get x-rays once a year in my dental office. And how often do you fly? And right now my iPhone is six inches from my hand where it normally is unless it's actually in my hand, or pressed against my head. And you think I am going to complain about a low dose of radiation from a scanner that could save my life? Oh the critics scream, but the risk is so minute that you will be on a plane with a bomber it's not worth it! It's not worth it? Really? So we should just do away with security screenings all together then? Don't be silly.
Okay, fine, radiation makes you squeamish. (Don't go outside, the sun is shining) So you have the ability to opt out. Now you get the enhanced pat down. Which makes sense don't you think? If you opt out of the breathalyzer when you are pulled over under suspicion of DUI you get a blood test, right? Do you think this is unfair as well or do you realize that there is a good shot that if someone doesn't want screened or tested there might be a reason why? Now I have read a lot about the "perverts" in TSA touching "your junk". Darling, it's called junk for a reason, they don't want to touch it any more than the bartender you were flirting with last night. But just like she had to smile and nod at your stupid jokes, they have to pat you down, it's their job.
As I said earlier, I have had the enhanced pat down. The woman from TSA was just as uncomfortable doing it as I was having it done. But we both survived the harrowing minute it took to do it. It's a pat down, not a cavity search. Over the clothes pressing their hand against your body to make sure all that is there is clothes. There is no groping, grabbing, fondling, or any of the other terms being bandied about. Again, I know, I've had it done. The woman from TSA apologized for any embarrassment I might have, I smiled at her and said I understood it was her job and we both made it out just fine. I know, shocking right? If the worst thing that ever happens to you in life is a moment of embarrassment while you get an enhanced pat down in the airport then you have lived a blessed life indeed.
When Christopher flew home last weekend I had people asking me if I was concerned he might be scanned or subjected to the enhanced pat downs. I'm not concerned about it in the least. I know the chances are very small that there will be a terrorist on his flight but I am so much more grateful that things are being done to make that remote possibility even more remote that a few seconds of embarrassment for him is fine with me. Real threats, no matter how small the chance are much more important to me than the overblown fake concerns the blogosphere is ranting about.
I was talking to my mother last week about the screenings and what she thought. Seems as though I got my perspective on the issue from her. She said, "I am 78 years old. If someone wants to look at a picture of me naked, well I already warned them, I am 78 years old!" Then she followed it up with, "I have had cancer, this is nothing."
And she is right. Scan or pat down, this is nothing. Get over it.
The first week of December I will go in to an office, I will disrobe, I will have a complete stranger take each of my breasts in turn in her hand and place them on a machine which will then smash it flat as can be and x-ray it. My privates will be touched, my body will be scanned and they will keep the pictures in a computer file that could be breached at any point by mysterious hackers out there that only live to find blurry pictures of people's privates to put online. And I will subject myself to this as I do every year because I would rather take every precaution to keep myself safe than not. I have no history of breast cancer, I have no family history of breast cancer, but I still have the test, just because it's better to be safe than sorry. Do you see where I am going with this yet?
I am not sure if it's because when Brent and I got married he was a Nuclear Engineer so the word radiation doesn't freak me out...or if it's because I am a massage therapist so the thought of touching someone or someone touching me doesn't make me want to run for the hills but I have to say all of the people squawking about the new airport security measures are boggling my brain.
I will tell you upfront that I have had the enhanced screening pat down before. In my former job I traveled a lot. Four different times I was pulled for the extra searches. Once for the quick check through the bags, once for the full unpack look at all of your things, once for the enhanced pat down and once for a positive explosive residue test. So when I talk about the enhanced screening I am not talking about what ifs I am talking from the experience of having it done.
Okay, so all of the upfront warnings are in place. Now I have to ask (cover your ears because this is going to be a cusser blog) What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you seriously so squeamish that someone is going to see a blurry picture of your private parts that you can't walk through a scanner? And then when given the ability to opt out you also don't want someone to touch you either? Sure you know you aren't a terrorist but do I? I saw someone on the news today talk about how they should just do extra profiling...Okay, so what terrorist suspect do you want them to base their profile on? Ahmed al-Haznawi (9/11 Hijacker) or Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (Underwear Bomber) or Timothy McVeigh? Okay it was not a plane but blowing up a building sure counts as a terrorist in my book.
Google those three and tell me how to profile against them based on looks alone. Only men should be screened? Oh no, wait, there are women suicide bombers out there as well. So what do you want done? Last Christmas when the Underwear Bomber struck (and failed, thank goodness) people were in an uproar! How could he have gotten explosives on just by hiding them in his jock?? Outrageous! Something MUST be done...except don't look at my privates and for goodness sake don't touch them! But SOMETHING must be done!
I have heard arguments about the dose of radiation you get from the scanner. Did you know it's 1/1000 the amount you get from a dental x-ray? I don't know about you but I get x-rays once a year in my dental office. And how often do you fly? And right now my iPhone is six inches from my hand where it normally is unless it's actually in my hand, or pressed against my head. And you think I am going to complain about a low dose of radiation from a scanner that could save my life? Oh the critics scream, but the risk is so minute that you will be on a plane with a bomber it's not worth it! It's not worth it? Really? So we should just do away with security screenings all together then? Don't be silly.
Okay, fine, radiation makes you squeamish. (Don't go outside, the sun is shining) So you have the ability to opt out. Now you get the enhanced pat down. Which makes sense don't you think? If you opt out of the breathalyzer when you are pulled over under suspicion of DUI you get a blood test, right? Do you think this is unfair as well or do you realize that there is a good shot that if someone doesn't want screened or tested there might be a reason why? Now I have read a lot about the "perverts" in TSA touching "your junk". Darling, it's called junk for a reason, they don't want to touch it any more than the bartender you were flirting with last night. But just like she had to smile and nod at your stupid jokes, they have to pat you down, it's their job.
As I said earlier, I have had the enhanced pat down. The woman from TSA was just as uncomfortable doing it as I was having it done. But we both survived the harrowing minute it took to do it. It's a pat down, not a cavity search. Over the clothes pressing their hand against your body to make sure all that is there is clothes. There is no groping, grabbing, fondling, or any of the other terms being bandied about. Again, I know, I've had it done. The woman from TSA apologized for any embarrassment I might have, I smiled at her and said I understood it was her job and we both made it out just fine. I know, shocking right? If the worst thing that ever happens to you in life is a moment of embarrassment while you get an enhanced pat down in the airport then you have lived a blessed life indeed.
When Christopher flew home last weekend I had people asking me if I was concerned he might be scanned or subjected to the enhanced pat downs. I'm not concerned about it in the least. I know the chances are very small that there will be a terrorist on his flight but I am so much more grateful that things are being done to make that remote possibility even more remote that a few seconds of embarrassment for him is fine with me. Real threats, no matter how small the chance are much more important to me than the overblown fake concerns the blogosphere is ranting about.
I was talking to my mother last week about the screenings and what she thought. Seems as though I got my perspective on the issue from her. She said, "I am 78 years old. If someone wants to look at a picture of me naked, well I already warned them, I am 78 years old!" Then she followed it up with, "I have had cancer, this is nothing."
And she is right. Scan or pat down, this is nothing. Get over it.
Monday, November 22, 2010
The year of living busily...
Friday, January 05, 2007
Getting ready!
Current mood: excited
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
All right here we go! Orientation is tomorrow morning, then classes on Monday. Next week is going to be hell week for sure. Class from 8-2:30 Monday morning then straight to the airport and on to Houston. Get in to Houston at 1 AM, off to the hotel an hour away from the airport, up and in meetings by 8 AM Tuesday, meetings until 5 Tuesday then skipping dinner and the reception, back to the airport landing in Portland at midnight and back in class 8 AM Wednesday morning! Holy cow...work and school and family...and maybe some time to read in there too...wish me luck!
I should be fine most of the time, just when there is travel in there that it's going to be hard.
That's the mini-post I did right before starting school. Remember in the series I wrote about leaving Advertising and making the decision to go back to school when I talked about telling my main client (Scott Dickinson here on referred to as SD) I was leaving? He offered me a job working part time for him while I was in school and I accepted. Then my current boss (Scott Nowack here on referred to as SN) offered to pay for school if I stayed on at the agency. Well, I had a choice to make at that point, did I leave the agency and forgo the school tuition? Did I tell SD that though I appreciated the opportunity and had already accepted the job I changed my mind, knowing that I would be letting a friend down, not just a client? Or did I do the completely insane thing and decided that I could do it all?
Yeah, I went for the insane thing. School three days a week, in the office at the agency 2 1/2 days a week, working from my kitchen table on agency work and SD projects 7 days a week and studying 7 days a week. And that last line about being fine unless I was traveling? Four out of five terms the first week of term I had out of town meetings, so it would be class, airport, meeting, airport, class, rinse and repeat. And that's not counting the other meetings I had in between and around there. As it worked out that was probably my heaviest travel period of all of them in the agency and with SD. It was truly crazy. And I did it for nine months (yes, I know I keep saying a year, but it has a rounder feel than nine months).
The things I learned during that stretch are wide spread. Of course, I learned about my new career choice. The classes were much harder than I ever expected with a lot more science than I ever imagined. But this is the work series so I will stick with that focus.
Working in the agency it was really just more of the same, I was doing my job just in very compressed time periods and under very odd circumstances. SN did not want people to know I was leaving and so everyone was doing all they could to hide the fact that I wasn't in the office much and at times I was absolutely not available. I wouldn't take calls during class, for instance. Which doesn't seem like that big of a deal until you realize that I once had a client call me on a Sunday afternoon because they were in Portland and needed directions to a restaurant. That is the world of client services. You are ALWAYS available and if for some odd reason you don't answer your phone right away you ALWAYS call back within a few minutes. So it was an adjustment for everyone to sometimes have to wait for a full hour or even two for a call back.
The other tricky part was I wasn't telling anyone I was working for SD at the same time as SN. My non-compete stated that I couldn't do advertising for a client within a few years of working for the agency. Non-compete agreements are notoriously difficult to enforce and since I wasn't doing advertising work for SD but employee training items and random in house projects that just needed a project manager I wasn't overly worried about it, but I still didn't want to call attention to the second job. So I was in a constant shuffle of who knew what and when and why and did you know I was doing this and this or did you only know about this and not that but the other and how many of you know all of the things? And since you are confused just trying to read that last sentence imagine living it for a year.
Working for SD was really very interesting. The projects were never anything too taxing but they were always interesting in their variety. Basically what he needed was just SOMEONE to do them and honestly though he will deny this until his dying day, he didn't need to hire me at all he could have pulled almost anyone from his organization into the office a few days a week to fill in and get them done. He insists that my unique skill set (see all previous work blogs) made me perfect to do them. I understood the restaurant industry from working in the Advertising/Marketing side as well as from working in the restaurants. I understood the employee training pieces because I had employees and had been a trainer in previous jobs. I understood how to get him set up with the new KFCC online system because I could take the time to wade through the poorly written directions and use my contacts in Louisville to help me when I got stuck. Now I say that all of that is true, but anyone could have done the same things, they just might not have been able to do them while holding down another full time job and going to school as well. ;-)
So what did I learn from this job? Jobs? Here you go...I learned that you might think you are busy right now, but when you are REALLY busy you know. You also can handle much more than you realize. There were quite a few times through that year that I thought I was going to collapse under the weight of it all, then a break from school would come and I could just focus on the jobs, or a holiday would hit and everything would stop for a few days and I would be back up and running again. I learned that there could be a job out there that would use all of my random skills and I learned that there are people out there that want the best for you and are willing to make up just that job for you so you can pursue a new path.
And I learned that I never want to be that busy again.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Whew...and yee haw!
Current mood: relieved
Grades came today. Pulled my As for the term...yes I know I was all about accepting a lower grade and how it would be fine...but that's when I thought I wasn't going to be able to pull out an A.
One more week of term break then it's back to school...but this time instead of back to school with a full time job, a part time job and homework I will be down to one job and homework! Yee haw!!
Getting ready!
Current mood: excited
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
All right here we go! Orientation is tomorrow morning, then classes on Monday. Next week is going to be hell week for sure. Class from 8-2:30 Monday morning then straight to the airport and on to Houston. Get in to Houston at 1 AM, off to the hotel an hour away from the airport, up and in meetings by 8 AM Tuesday, meetings until 5 Tuesday then skipping dinner and the reception, back to the airport landing in Portland at midnight and back in class 8 AM Wednesday morning! Holy cow...work and school and family...and maybe some time to read in there too...wish me luck!
I should be fine most of the time, just when there is travel in there that it's going to be hard.
That's the mini-post I did right before starting school. Remember in the series I wrote about leaving Advertising and making the decision to go back to school when I talked about telling my main client (Scott Dickinson here on referred to as SD) I was leaving? He offered me a job working part time for him while I was in school and I accepted. Then my current boss (Scott Nowack here on referred to as SN) offered to pay for school if I stayed on at the agency. Well, I had a choice to make at that point, did I leave the agency and forgo the school tuition? Did I tell SD that though I appreciated the opportunity and had already accepted the job I changed my mind, knowing that I would be letting a friend down, not just a client? Or did I do the completely insane thing and decided that I could do it all?
Yeah, I went for the insane thing. School three days a week, in the office at the agency 2 1/2 days a week, working from my kitchen table on agency work and SD projects 7 days a week and studying 7 days a week. And that last line about being fine unless I was traveling? Four out of five terms the first week of term I had out of town meetings, so it would be class, airport, meeting, airport, class, rinse and repeat. And that's not counting the other meetings I had in between and around there. As it worked out that was probably my heaviest travel period of all of them in the agency and with SD. It was truly crazy. And I did it for nine months (yes, I know I keep saying a year, but it has a rounder feel than nine months).
The things I learned during that stretch are wide spread. Of course, I learned about my new career choice. The classes were much harder than I ever expected with a lot more science than I ever imagined. But this is the work series so I will stick with that focus.
Working in the agency it was really just more of the same, I was doing my job just in very compressed time periods and under very odd circumstances. SN did not want people to know I was leaving and so everyone was doing all they could to hide the fact that I wasn't in the office much and at times I was absolutely not available. I wouldn't take calls during class, for instance. Which doesn't seem like that big of a deal until you realize that I once had a client call me on a Sunday afternoon because they were in Portland and needed directions to a restaurant. That is the world of client services. You are ALWAYS available and if for some odd reason you don't answer your phone right away you ALWAYS call back within a few minutes. So it was an adjustment for everyone to sometimes have to wait for a full hour or even two for a call back.
The other tricky part was I wasn't telling anyone I was working for SD at the same time as SN. My non-compete stated that I couldn't do advertising for a client within a few years of working for the agency. Non-compete agreements are notoriously difficult to enforce and since I wasn't doing advertising work for SD but employee training items and random in house projects that just needed a project manager I wasn't overly worried about it, but I still didn't want to call attention to the second job. So I was in a constant shuffle of who knew what and when and why and did you know I was doing this and this or did you only know about this and not that but the other and how many of you know all of the things? And since you are confused just trying to read that last sentence imagine living it for a year.
Working for SD was really very interesting. The projects were never anything too taxing but they were always interesting in their variety. Basically what he needed was just SOMEONE to do them and honestly though he will deny this until his dying day, he didn't need to hire me at all he could have pulled almost anyone from his organization into the office a few days a week to fill in and get them done. He insists that my unique skill set (see all previous work blogs) made me perfect to do them. I understood the restaurant industry from working in the Advertising/Marketing side as well as from working in the restaurants. I understood the employee training pieces because I had employees and had been a trainer in previous jobs. I understood how to get him set up with the new KFCC online system because I could take the time to wade through the poorly written directions and use my contacts in Louisville to help me when I got stuck. Now I say that all of that is true, but anyone could have done the same things, they just might not have been able to do them while holding down another full time job and going to school as well. ;-)
So what did I learn from this job? Jobs? Here you go...I learned that you might think you are busy right now, but when you are REALLY busy you know. You also can handle much more than you realize. There were quite a few times through that year that I thought I was going to collapse under the weight of it all, then a break from school would come and I could just focus on the jobs, or a holiday would hit and everything would stop for a few days and I would be back up and running again. I learned that there could be a job out there that would use all of my random skills and I learned that there are people out there that want the best for you and are willing to make up just that job for you so you can pursue a new path.
And I learned that I never want to be that busy again.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Whew...and yee haw!
Current mood: relieved
Grades came today. Pulled my As for the term...yes I know I was all about accepting a lower grade and how it would be fine...but that's when I thought I wasn't going to be able to pull out an A.
One more week of term break then it's back to school...but this time instead of back to school with a full time job, a part time job and homework I will be down to one job and homework! Yee haw!!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Self delusional? Me?
I know what I am and what I am not and for the most part I am fine with those things. Every once in awhile something sneaks by me that I would really LIKE to be, but it's not going to happen. But in general I know who I am.
I am not athletic. I never could do a cartwheel, I can't touch my toes, I don't run or bike or play a competitive sport. When Brent and I first got together and off and on through the years we played basketball against each other. I LOVE playing basketball but I am lousy at it. So I altered the rules. I don't have to dribble if I don't want to, Brent cannot steal the ball from me and he cannot jump to block a shot I take. Oh...and I can foul the shit out of him and not get called. He on the other hand must follow all of the normal rules and conventions and put up with being fouled. And with all of these changes in place I still lose by double digits. But I have a great time. And that for me is the point of the game.
Every once in awhile I think I want to be more athletic. Last year when I did the 5k walk I thought I might start running. I ran two days at the gym instead of my normal walking and remembered "OH yeah...I don't like to run!" And that was that. Back to walking. The reason I wanted to run in the first place? When the race first started the runners took off and left me in the dust. Though I am not athletic I am extremely competitive. Give me a contest I have a shot at and I will flip the switch and go all out on you. Board games, trivia challenges, memory exercises and I will compete and compete hard. But make it something that I have no shot at winning? I will still play but I won't play to win, I will play to have fun. Though even when I am playing to win I am playing to have fun.
That's one thing I am. I am all about the fun. I look for a game or some other way to have fun in everything I do. I made the choice a long time ago to be happy and I live my life in that direction. Which is why I tend to be very realistic about what I am and what I am not.
I am not skinny. I worked hard to drop a lot of weight last year and once I reached my goal I dropped even more. Then I was really close to being the thinnest I have ever been so I thought I might drop some more. Then I turned sideways in the bathroom one day, looked in the mirror and realized my butt was gone. For some women this would be a moment of sheer joy but I love my butt. Took me years to decide I loved my butt but once I did I decided that it's one of my best features (my curves in general not just my butt) and I have played them up ever since. I am round by nature and I had stopped fighting that, until last year. So I started doing some exercises to build up the glute muscles and bring back some of that roundness. Which then caused me to lose even more weight and push me closer to that thinnest number. I am competitive remember? The thought of putting my 41 year old self up against my 18 year old self was really tempting. Then I saw the pictures. Much like the pictures from our 2009 Disney trip reinforced the decision to drop the weight in the first place this batch of photos made me stop and think, enough is enough and too much is too much.
The difference between my 18 year old self at that weight and my 41 year old self? At 18 I looked good...at 41 I looked haggard. I remembered an article I read by Isabella Rossellini quite a few years ago in which she stated that as women age they need to keep a few extra pounds on them. It just looks healthier. Fills in the wrinkles, rounds out the face. At the time I thought she was just making excuses. Now I realize she is absolutely right. So I put back on about 6 pounds, my butt came back, my face filled back in and I look much better for it. My 42 year old self is not as thin as my 18 year old self, but I look damn good for 42. Vain? Sure, but I am vain and I am okay with that as well.
I am not a Type A personality. I can play one when I have to. I have had jobs where I really had to act like one. But I am not. I am not even sure if I qualify as a Type B. I am a go with the flow chick. I am multifocused (flighty or easily distracted if you wish). I like to see where the day is going to lead without a tight schedule and time line. I like to stop and smell the roses (or take a lot of close up pictures of them). I find almost everything to be fascinating and I like taking the time to explore. And I am very okay with that.
Now we come to the point of this blog. I know! It was a long time coming wasn't it? But I like to talk, and I am okay with that as well.
I don't cook. Now this isn't a big shock for people, most everyone knows I don't cook, it's a family joke in my house. But the thing is, I can cook and I am a good cook. I can read a recipe and tell you if it will taste good and also change and add things or take things away that will make it better. I can open a well stocked refrigerator and cabinet and pull together a made up meal that is yummy but never able to be recreated because I made it up as I went along. I actually like to cook as well. How is that for a shocker? I like making something, having it turn out well and knowing that I did that. There have been times over the last 24 years where I cooked much more than I didn't cook. When we lived in Idaho I even owned and used my own meat grinder to make sure I could get the lowest fat best meat mix for what I was making.
But what I hate? I hate meal planning. I hate deciding what to make, making a list, going to the grocery store and all of the things that need to happen before the actual cooking takes place. I hate planning out the time it will take to make dinner so that we are eating at a decent time and I can still get the other things done that I want to do. Having one car sometimes adds to this, hard to be putting dinner together and picking up Brent from work. But that's just an excuse. I could figure that part out. If I wanted to. But I don't like to do it.
But I keep trying. I decide that THIS time I am going to do it. This time I am going to plan and cook and I dig out the cookbooks and the note book. I make notes over what I have in stock and what I need to restock. I think about what I will cook. I think about what would be fun to try. And...then I go to Sushi Town. I have no idea what the block is here. I accepted a long time ago that though I would like to be Martha Stewart (or my personal Marthas Jenn Mele and Megan Clark) no matter how I try I am not going to find time or the skill to be crafty, my house is not going to look like a magazine layout and I am not going to be that person no matter how much I have wanted to be at times. I am okay with that. But this cooking thing...I keep going back to it.
So what is it in your life that you think you should be, that you really wish you could be, that you aren't but haven't let go of yet? And why do you think you haven't? I am trying to figure out the cooking thing. I will let you know when I decide to either give it up completely or crack the code on the planning or convince someone else to do all the planning and shopping. For now I have to decide where we are going for dinner. And I am okay with that.
I am not athletic. I never could do a cartwheel, I can't touch my toes, I don't run or bike or play a competitive sport. When Brent and I first got together and off and on through the years we played basketball against each other. I LOVE playing basketball but I am lousy at it. So I altered the rules. I don't have to dribble if I don't want to, Brent cannot steal the ball from me and he cannot jump to block a shot I take. Oh...and I can foul the shit out of him and not get called. He on the other hand must follow all of the normal rules and conventions and put up with being fouled. And with all of these changes in place I still lose by double digits. But I have a great time. And that for me is the point of the game.
Every once in awhile I think I want to be more athletic. Last year when I did the 5k walk I thought I might start running. I ran two days at the gym instead of my normal walking and remembered "OH yeah...I don't like to run!" And that was that. Back to walking. The reason I wanted to run in the first place? When the race first started the runners took off and left me in the dust. Though I am not athletic I am extremely competitive. Give me a contest I have a shot at and I will flip the switch and go all out on you. Board games, trivia challenges, memory exercises and I will compete and compete hard. But make it something that I have no shot at winning? I will still play but I won't play to win, I will play to have fun. Though even when I am playing to win I am playing to have fun.
That's one thing I am. I am all about the fun. I look for a game or some other way to have fun in everything I do. I made the choice a long time ago to be happy and I live my life in that direction. Which is why I tend to be very realistic about what I am and what I am not.
I am not skinny. I worked hard to drop a lot of weight last year and once I reached my goal I dropped even more. Then I was really close to being the thinnest I have ever been so I thought I might drop some more. Then I turned sideways in the bathroom one day, looked in the mirror and realized my butt was gone. For some women this would be a moment of sheer joy but I love my butt. Took me years to decide I loved my butt but once I did I decided that it's one of my best features (my curves in general not just my butt) and I have played them up ever since. I am round by nature and I had stopped fighting that, until last year. So I started doing some exercises to build up the glute muscles and bring back some of that roundness. Which then caused me to lose even more weight and push me closer to that thinnest number. I am competitive remember? The thought of putting my 41 year old self up against my 18 year old self was really tempting. Then I saw the pictures. Much like the pictures from our 2009 Disney trip reinforced the decision to drop the weight in the first place this batch of photos made me stop and think, enough is enough and too much is too much.
The difference between my 18 year old self at that weight and my 41 year old self? At 18 I looked good...at 41 I looked haggard. I remembered an article I read by Isabella Rossellini quite a few years ago in which she stated that as women age they need to keep a few extra pounds on them. It just looks healthier. Fills in the wrinkles, rounds out the face. At the time I thought she was just making excuses. Now I realize she is absolutely right. So I put back on about 6 pounds, my butt came back, my face filled back in and I look much better for it. My 42 year old self is not as thin as my 18 year old self, but I look damn good for 42. Vain? Sure, but I am vain and I am okay with that as well.
I am not a Type A personality. I can play one when I have to. I have had jobs where I really had to act like one. But I am not. I am not even sure if I qualify as a Type B. I am a go with the flow chick. I am multifocused (flighty or easily distracted if you wish). I like to see where the day is going to lead without a tight schedule and time line. I like to stop and smell the roses (or take a lot of close up pictures of them). I find almost everything to be fascinating and I like taking the time to explore. And I am very okay with that.
Now we come to the point of this blog. I know! It was a long time coming wasn't it? But I like to talk, and I am okay with that as well.
I don't cook. Now this isn't a big shock for people, most everyone knows I don't cook, it's a family joke in my house. But the thing is, I can cook and I am a good cook. I can read a recipe and tell you if it will taste good and also change and add things or take things away that will make it better. I can open a well stocked refrigerator and cabinet and pull together a made up meal that is yummy but never able to be recreated because I made it up as I went along. I actually like to cook as well. How is that for a shocker? I like making something, having it turn out well and knowing that I did that. There have been times over the last 24 years where I cooked much more than I didn't cook. When we lived in Idaho I even owned and used my own meat grinder to make sure I could get the lowest fat best meat mix for what I was making.
But what I hate? I hate meal planning. I hate deciding what to make, making a list, going to the grocery store and all of the things that need to happen before the actual cooking takes place. I hate planning out the time it will take to make dinner so that we are eating at a decent time and I can still get the other things done that I want to do. Having one car sometimes adds to this, hard to be putting dinner together and picking up Brent from work. But that's just an excuse. I could figure that part out. If I wanted to. But I don't like to do it.
But I keep trying. I decide that THIS time I am going to do it. This time I am going to plan and cook and I dig out the cookbooks and the note book. I make notes over what I have in stock and what I need to restock. I think about what I will cook. I think about what would be fun to try. And...then I go to Sushi Town. I have no idea what the block is here. I accepted a long time ago that though I would like to be Martha Stewart (or my personal Marthas Jenn Mele and Megan Clark) no matter how I try I am not going to find time or the skill to be crafty, my house is not going to look like a magazine layout and I am not going to be that person no matter how much I have wanted to be at times. I am okay with that. But this cooking thing...I keep going back to it.
So what is it in your life that you think you should be, that you really wish you could be, that you aren't but haven't let go of yet? And why do you think you haven't? I am trying to figure out the cooking thing. I will let you know when I decide to either give it up completely or crack the code on the planning or convince someone else to do all the planning and shopping. For now I have to decide where we are going for dinner. And I am okay with that.
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