Okay, that makes it count towards National Poetry Month. And also I am using the work of a friend at the end of this rant to double down. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's fast and loose with the rules but HELLO! I made the rules so you know they were squishy to begin with.
AND as this is a rant it's disorganized and ranty as rants are wont to be.
People are worried about silly things right now. Like where other people pee. I want to break this to you as bluntly as I can. You have already shared the bathroom with a person who is transgender. You just didn't know it. Because it wasn't a big deal. They peed. You peed. You both washed your hands (please tell me you washed your hands) and then you left. If you even noticed their face long enough for it to stick with you I would be shocked, let alone tried for a peek at their genitals.
Because we all know that trying to look at stranger's genitals isn't okay. We actually even call them privates or private parts because, well, they are private.
Now here is the other argument I keep hearing. "I'm not worried about transgender people, I'm worried about perverts who will now use this as an excuse to use the women's restroom." What? Do you even hear yourself when you talk? Why in the world would you think this would happen? Honestly? You think that there is a large contingent of people just waiting out there for an excuse to go peek in washrooms? Let me let you in on something, there aren't. You know it. If you just stop letting some fear of it drive you and look at it logically for just a moment, you know it's not true.
"Oh I am concerned about the women and girls in my family being raped or molested." Okay, well, again, this isn't going to change that. Rape and molestation are already illegal. And a bathroom bill that makes it illegal to use a women's bathroom if you are male on your birth certificate won't make anyone safer. Transgender does not equal rapist. It doesn't. They are much more likely to be victims of crime than perpetrators. Violent crimes. Like getting beaten up because some idiot is pissed that the very attractive woman has a penis. Which he wouldn't know if she was allowed to use the bathroom like every other woman.
You are giving transgender adults two options. Out themselves thereby exposing themselves to potential violence OR break the law and use the bathroom they identify with.
"If you are born a male you are a male!" Okay, well, no. And let me blow your mind again. You can actually get your birth certificate changed. So you are no longer identified as male (or female as the case may be) on any document and pee freely. Oh sweet pee freedom!
So stop and think for just a minute about all of this before you start spouting your opinion based in fear. Why are you afraid? If you say it's not that you are worried about actual transgender people but just perverts, rapist and molesters, why do you think this will change their behavior? If you are afraid that men are just waiting around to sneak in to women's restrooms ask yourself again why? Why would a man suddenly feel the need to don a dress and sneak in to a bathroom? Do you really think men are that out of control? Are you of the belief that all men should be watched extremely closely because they are just rape machines waiting for the right trigger? Or would you think that was ridiculous? Because it is.
If you are worried about the safety of those around you. Then watch them. And more importantly teach them to watch out for themselves. I'm 47 years old. The only penis I have seen in a women's restroom I brought in there myself. Which, by the way, would be illegal under these laws. I would have needed to send my 3 year old in to a men's restroom all by himself. Not going to happen. I'm 47 years old. I've never seen a stranger's genitals in a bathroom. We have stalls and doors and privacy. I'm 47 years old. I live in Portland, OR, I've traveled to a few major cities, I'm sure I've shared a restroom with a transgender woman. It's not an issue.
The only time I've ever come close to being raped was by a good Christian boy, that I happened to be dating at the time. It wasn't in a bathroom. It was in a car. If I had waited for my father or my brothers' to rescue me I wouldn't say "close" to being raped. As it was I introduced his testicles to his stomach and the contents of his stomach introduced themselves to the ground. Teach your daughters to protect themselves. Teach your sons to protect themselves. Teach your daughters and your sons that rape is wrong. When they are too little to look out for themselves look out for them. Don't pretend the boogy man is a stranger in a dress in the bathroom stall. It's your clergy. It's your coach. It's your neighbor. It's your relative. It's your friend. Those are the odds.
Stop letting fear guide you. Listen to reason. Realize that you are victimizing an entire group of people that are already victimized at a high rate. And you are not making anyone any safer by doing it.
And here is the bonus content I promised to make this really fit with National Poetry Month.
Lyrics by Malcolm Risk
To be sung to the tune of "There are Worse Things I Could Do" from the musical Grease
There are worse things I could do
Than go for a number two
Even though the bathroom bill
Implies I'm there to rape or kill
The simple fact is that's not true
And there are worse things I could do
I could hide my wealth offshore
Pay zero tax for-evermore
Strip rights from low paid employees
Squeeze them till they're on their knees
Then still refuse to pay what's due
That's a thing I'd never do
I could go out on the stump
Wave a flag for Mr Trump
Support a guy whose mind's so small
That he wants to build a wall
Cause if you're different - fuck you
I could hurt those in my care
Steal innocence while no-one's there
I don't hate, I don't abuse
But I can suffer for your views
Although, to some of you, that's news...
But to pee next door to you -
THAT'S? The worst thing? I could? Doo???