Friday, February 6, 2015

Job Fair...

A long time ago, long before there was a you or a me or even a thought of an us they were here. And they were creating things. The basic things that we take for granted every day. The very fabric that weaves us together as a society. They made those things. And they never get any credit. It's a shame really, but they like it that way. They like us to think we came up with all of these things on our own. It makes the rest of their jobs easier. In fact I think making us believe we made it all is one of their jobs...but that's not the story I want to tell today. Today I will tell the story of the beginning. The start of all of this.

The lesser demons had gathered for their final interviews. The tests had been completed. The resumes had been read and polished. The first round of questions had been answered, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" "What would you say is your weakest trait?" (You had always suspected job interviews were a thing from demons, now you know) Now it was time for the last round. Job placement would now be decided. 

The ancient ones looked around the room and asked the final question. "What is the greatest punishment you could give to man?"

Smiles lit up the room. This is what they had all been waiting for. What they had practiced for. What they had dreamed of. Now they could shine. One by one they stood and walked in to the private offices to give their answer.

"Bamboo under the fingernails. Slowly. Then soaking them in lemon juice."

note were taken:

(effective but rudimentary)

"I would slowly drive them mad with songs they could not get out of their heads. I would call it an ear-worm so they could have the vision of a parasite slowly eating their brains as they hummed, 'Hey Macarena!'"

(inventive, diabolical, order extra copies of Hey Macarena! in a few thousand years when it is released)

"I would add cars to the road at random times of the day. Traffic jams at 2 on a Tuesday."

(we can work with this, expand on the idea. get on inventing the wheel quickly so we can work to this point)

Answers came and jobs were assigned. Big and small jobs. You will work on clothing sizes, you will work on shoes that won't stay tied, you will be in politics, you will work on network TV. Finally the last interviewee walked through the door. He brought with him one of the ancient ones. Demon or angel it is sometimes hard to tell with the old ones.

"What is the greatest punishment you could give to man?"

"I have more than one answer. It depends on the man, you see."

"Then give me your top line."

"I would give them love."

(love? did he come in the wrong door?)

"Unrequited love. Love that leaves. Love that is replaced or misplaced. And for the worst of them I would let them watch the person they love fall in love with someone else."

The room fell silent. Now this was genius. They could start now. No waiting. They wouldn't have to stop when technology moved forward. This was an all time great. They had even stopped taking notes as the ideas were flowing too fast and furious to keep up.

"Yes, I see. Brilliant. I don't think we need to hear anymore. You have earned this."

And with that the bow and arrow was handed over.

"Be careful. You know each tip is coated with poison."

Cupid smiled, his rows of razor sharp teeth glinting. The scaly wings on his back vibrating with pleasure.

One of the ancients waved to the demon (angel?) next to Cupid, "Why did you accompany him?"

Cupid bowed to his elder and took a step back so the old one could take the stage, "I will work with him."

"You? But how?"

"Not every arrow in that quiver will bring pain and longing. Sometimes it will be true and ever lasting joy. Sometimes the love will be returned."

Great booming laughter filled the room, (I call it laughter because that is the closest I have to describe it, but if you were to hear it? It would have driven you mad.) nods and smiles were shared. And it was agreed that they would work together from that day on. 

"Ah, Hope, you are the worst of us!"

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