Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Tell me why...

"You were lonely?"

"Yes. I was lonely."

"Why were you lonely?"

"Well Derick was out of town and..."

" mean right then that moment you were lonely? Not that this was some sort of deep loneliness? But just right that day because Derick was traveling you were lonely?"

"Yes. You asked what happened and I am trying to tell you."

"I know I asked, and trust me I am really trying to listen. But right this second, in this very moment I am not sure I can physically hear another word out of your mouth. I was prepared to hear your side. To try and understand the deeper reason. The whole two sides to every story part. But there aren't two sides are there? You just did something shitty and got caught. That's the only side."

"I told you I was lonely."

"So call a friend. Text Derick. Read a goddamn book. Or, oh I don't know, realize you aren't two fucking years old and need constant entertainment and get over it."

"If you aren't even going to give me a chance to explain..."

"Explain? I think you just did. I was lonely. So instead of waiting it out you got dressed up, went to a bar, hooked up with a stranger, and then got caught when your boyfriend came home a day early because he missed you and wanted to surprise you. You don't even like going to bars! Why would you do all of that just to get laid a few days earlier than you thought you would?"

"It's not as simple as that."

"Then tell me more. Because you just told me you did it because you were lonely. Right then. At that moment. Not relationship isn't working out lonely. Not Derick, who came home early from a trip because he missed you, ignored you lonely, but because nobody was right there right that second to pay attention to you lonely."

"If you are going to yell at me I can't explain."

"Okay, you're right. No yelling. Explain. Go ahead."

"Well now you are being condescending."

"Take your pick because until I hear a good reason it's going to be one or the other."

"Fine. I won't even tell you. Why do you even care? I'm your friend, not Derick. You have to take my side anyway."

"That's why I care! I want to take your side. I really do. But you aren't making it easy. Derick is a nice guy. I like Derick. Joe likes Derick. Hell, Joe said he was going to call him up and ask if he wants to golf with him next week."

"Oh no, that's not happening! Derick and I aren't a couple anymore! You can't stay friends with him, that's against the rules!"

"It would be, except for the fact that you are the jerk here, not Derick! You broke the rules, not him. I can't tell Joe not to be Derick's friend when Derick hasn't done anything wrong except date you!"

"That's not nice."

"Then give me something I can use here! You cheated on him because he was traveling on business and away from you for 3 days. THREE DAYS!"

"I told you I was lonely! I told him not to go!"

"You told him not to go? On a trip he needed to take for work? What?"

"I told him it was a bad time for him to travel. That I needed him home right then. He didn't listen."

"So this is his fault really? If he had just taken you seriously then this never would have happened?"

"Right. See? I knew if you let me explain you would get it."

"No! I don't get it! You told him not to work. That he had to stay home with you instead of do his job! And then you punished him because he left. That's what this was right? Not that you were lonely or any bullshit like that but that he didn't do exactly what you told him to do and so you punished him."

"I told him I wanted him to stay home."

"You are always like this. Always. You either get your way or you punish everyone around you. And I'm tired of making excuses for you. I just can't do this anymore. I can't support your selfishness. I can't be a part of this."

"Why are you so upset? You aren't Derick."

"Because I've defended you over and over. For years. Every time someone would say you were nothing but a selfish petulant child I would tell them they just needed to get to know you. That you were really not like that. But you really are. And I just can't do it anymore."

"I never asked you to defend me."

"You're right you never did. You just assumed that I would. And I did. And I have. Over and over. And now I'm done. From here on out you are on your own."

"What? You're dumping me as a friend? We've known each other since we were 12, you can't just dump me as a friend. Don't push me away."

"Yeah, I can. I couldn't before. But now I can. Just imagine I'm traveling when you didn't want me to and find a new friend to keep you company.You are good at that."

"You don't want to do this."

"No, I don't. But you've pushed me to the limit. I just can't anymore"

"I'm going to tell you again, you don't want to do this. Don't push me away."

"Are you threatening me now? Like you did Derick? I'm done. I can't be your support system anymore. You've finally pushed too far for even me to be able to justify your behavior."

"You're sure this is what you want? Take a second to make sure here."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I've justified so much from you over the years but I can't anymore. You hurt too many people too often. I just can't sit back and be a part of it."



"Now I want you to take a minute to ask yourself one more question. How did you hear about this? Who set you off on me? To get you this mad at me knowing you would break ties to me? Maybe even thinking you would never speak to me again without ever giving me a chance to explain."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I didn't tell you. And I don't think Derick told you. So how did you hear?"



"Joe told me. He heard it from Derick."

"Really? You think so? Joe and Derick are so close that the first thing Derick does is call my best friend's boyfriend and tells him? Men don't do that. They don't share secrets. Especially ones like this."

"Maybe you didn't know Derick as well as you thought. Maybe he and Joe were closer than you realized."

"You think that's how it happened? Derick and Joe maybe grabbed a cup of tea while Derick spilled his tale of woe at Joe's feet and Joe was so mad on his good friend's behalf that he got you spun up against me. Or are you this mad at me because there is a little voice in your head asking yourself that exact question, how did he know? And where was he last Wednesday?"


"Maybe you need to have another conversation with Joe. And the next time I tell you not to push me, you should listen."

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