Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I need to ask you something....

When Gary walked into the room Debra put down her book at looked up at him. "Have you ever torn someone's clothes off of them?"

"What?" Gary was used to the randomness of Debra's musings but at times she still surprised him with the things she would say. This was one of those times.

"Well obviously before we were together. You have never ripped my clothes off so I was wondering if you had ever done it to someone else. It happens a lot in books. The couple is so enthusiastic they tear each other's clothes off. I have never torn nor had my clothes torn so I was wondering if you had."

"No, I have never torn someone's clothes off of them. That would just be weird. I can't wait to have sex with you so I am going to ruin what you are wearing. Doesn't that seem like a mixed message?"

"Hmm....maybe. But what if that is a level of passion that you are missing? What if you meet someone some day and think, I just want to rip their clothes off! What happens then?"

"I think I can safely say that I will never face that dilemma."

"How can you be so sure? I mean, it happens all the time! It seems as though there is a thriving group of clothes rippers all around us and somehow we just missed out on that piece."

"Did you want me to rip your clothes off?"

"Well, no, not now. Now I would know that you were doing it because you thought I was expecting it, not because you were just so ummm...enthusiastic you couldn't help it."

"Are you saying you are unsure as to my level of enthusiasm? I am pretty sure that you should be able to tell.  I mean, I might not be porn star enthusiastic, but you can't really miss it if you are looking directly at me."

Debra tossed a throw pillow at Gary.  "That's not what I am talking about! You know I am very happy with your ummm...level of enthusiasm...I was just wondering if somehow we had missed something in the passion department. And then was wondering if maybe it was just me. Maybe I am the only non-clothes ripper."

"Post it on Facebook as your status.  See what people respond."

"Seriously? You want me to post...I was wondering have you ever ripped off someone's clothes or had your clothes ripped off in a moment of unbridled passion? Don't you think that would be weird?"

"Weirder than this?"

"You are married to me, you have to put up with my weirdness. I am pretty sure it was in our vows."

"Yep, you are right, love cherish and put up with weirdness. It was right there."

"So it's a no for both of us. No clothes ripping even in our young and impetuous days. Maybe I will post it. It just seems like it wouldn't be in so many books if it didn't happen at least once in awhile. Maybe it's just a first time thing. And somehow we missed it our first time."

"Do you remember our first time?"

"Yes, of course."

"Do you think you missed something? Because I am pretty sure we didn't miss anything. It led to our second time after all."

"Well yes, but...."

"You were wearing that blue silk dress. It was so blue it was almost black but in the light you could see the blue. And it made your eyes look like the sky. We had been dating for three months. My friends couldn't believe we weren't already sleeping together but I already knew that I was going to marry you and I didn't want to do anything to spook you and make you leave. I wanted everything to go perfectly. To keep you safe and happy and secure and if that meant waiting three months to have sex, we would wait.

But we both seemed to know that that night was the night. You were in that dress and you had those shoes.  Do you remember those shoes? I had never thought I was a shoe guy before that but you wore those black shiny shoes...."

"They were patent leather pumps...."

"Yeah, those, and they made your legs look about two miles long. When we went back to your place and I got to unzip that dress and take you out of it...no way would I rip it. It was like unwrapping a gift on Christmas morning. Easing the zipper down your back exposing inch after inch of your pale white skin...Why would I rush that? I had waited three months for that. And then when you stepped out of the dress, still wearing your heels and your lace... And do you know what you did next?"

Debra smiled because she did know what she did next. She had hung up the dress in her closest. She had bought that dress that week just for that night. She had spent almost a week's salary on it. It was beautiful and fit her well and she knew that her date with Gary on Saturday would be important so she wanted to look perfect. But the idea of leaving that dress, that expensive dress, balled up on the floor? She couldn't do it so she had hung it up before they went any further.

"You turned to the closet and got out the fanciest hanger I have ever seen, it was padded and had a bow on it, the hanger was better dressed than some people I know, anyway, you got out this special hanger and you put your dress on it and hung it up. It was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. No, seriously, don't laugh, it was. You were in that black lace thing with those shiny shoes on, you turned your back to me to hang up the dress. And all I could do was just stare at you. I had waited three months of dating plus the year of being friends to see this. All of you. And it was worth the wait, believe me. Rip your clothes off? I am lucky I could make my legs work to walk back over to you. I am lucky my heart didn't explode out of my chest it was beating so fast. Debra, you are not a rip out of your clothes type of woman. You are an explore every inch of you slowly and deliberately before doing it all over again type of woman."

At that point Debra put her book on the couch and stood up. She held her hand out to Gary and said, "Let's you and me go upstairs and slowly and deliberately remove each other's clothes. It might not sell books, but you've sold me."

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