Saturday, December 17, 2011

I HEARD you....

You know I believe that the Universe talks to you and you just have to be still and listen. People of science will say it's your subconscious mind speaking, people of different religions call it the voice of God. Though lately between the Presidential candidates and the Survivor contestants claiming God told them what to do I think God might just be messing with people...anyway...I really do believe that if you are trying to figure out the answers to big questions you will get them if you just listen.You all also know that at different times in my life even though the Universe was shouting at me to do something different I ignored that and was miserable as a result. So this blog is basically my petulant teenager blog.  Universe, I KNOW...I hear you!  Just back off for a little bit while I finish thinking! Sheesh..

It all started a few months ago. I was having coffee with a friend of mine who was facing her own crossroads. As we talked about choices and what she wanted to do and how to approach things the bells in my head started clanging..."PAY ATTENTION!  YOU ARE TALKING TO YOURSELF HERE!" The bells in my head are not subtle...As I heard myself saying to her, "I'm starting to get uncomfortable not doing anything.  If the uncomfortable starts to outweigh the complacent then I will make a change." I thought well isn't that interesting. See, I had never really verbalized that before, that I was starting to get antsy.  To feel the need to do more. Yes, I have dabbled here and there with things the past few years and that has been enough. But this was the first start of thinking, I need to do more.

Then again last week I had lunch with a girlfriend who is also a recruiter.  As we were talking about her work and my skill set she said, "With your skills and experience you could get a flexible job back in HR someplace I bet.  It might take awhile to find it, but I bet you could do it." And I thought...well, that's interesting.  I hadn't really considered going back into the HR side of things.  I haven't handled that side of the house in over ten years, but it was interesting work.  The flexible part is attractive to me.  See, I like having my own hours and my own schedule. Even when I was last working full time I worked in an industry and for a company that was very flexible.  Probably too flexible, but that doesn't matter now. Okay, do I want to go into HR for a company again? I don't think so...but it was interesting to think about.

Fast forward again to this week. I am having coffee with two more friends. We all went to massage school together. Stacy is now pre-med and Mari is working towards her PT licensing and I am...well...I am. We talked about school and studying, they are both just finished with finals for this term and relieved to be on break. Mari had taken a continuing ed class that I had been interested in but couldn't make work due to some traveling I was doing at the time. I am signing up for a class by the same group and we talked about taking it together. School. Ah, yes, I love learning. Maybe this is what I need to go back and do.  I had already mentioned to Brent that I was thinking about picking up a few classes next term, I just needed to figure out in what. Maybe this is what I need to be doing right now. Stretching my brain a little more.

And then the last pieces, Thursday night Brent and I had dinner with a group of his colleagues. The woman next to me asked if worked for Intel as well, it's pretty common for both people in a couple to work for Intel or Nike or a split of the two. I said I didn't. That I didn't do anything. So last night walking in to dinner Brent told me he had been surprised to hear me say that I don't do anything. I said,"But I don't. Not really."  He said, "You have a massage practice, you write..".and I cut him off and said, "I am working on two people right now and I write but I don't publish so it seems odd to mention it."  He said, "You do those things by your choice though. You are good at so much I am afraid you are selling yourself short when you say that you don't do anything. You do a lot."

Now add that to a conversation I had online with another girlfriend, she was lamenting the fact that she had gone to school with so many overachievers that it wasn't normal. I told her that's why she was friends with a slacker like me, it balanced it out. She replied with this..."I could never put you in such a category. You are far too interesting and have experimented with life in so many fun ways" So now you are seeing a pattern, first off I have surrounded myself with some very incredible people. Secondly, it's time to start doing something. I just don't know what yet.

But I am working towards figuring that out. I will be taking that continuing ed class, I am going to put back out the feelers on getting in to voice over work, I am going to pick up a course catalog for the local community college, I am reconsidering my stance on publishing some of my writing,  I will figure this out. Soon.  But seriously, Universe, it's Christmas and I want to take the next two weeks to think about nothing but that, so hush. I heard you.  I promise. 

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