Saturday, July 16, 2011

The one your mother warned you about....

Okay so the first few sentences of this blog serve no other purpose but to get past the little preview window that will show when I post the link. This should about cover it. Clear? Yep, we are clear now we can start.

Fuck you. Is there a more versatile curse out there? It can be super angry, sort of sexy, or very playful depending on how it's used. Depending on the tone you might hear it as a "you got me" response to a joke that might hit a little too close to the bone but is still funny. I got one of those fuck yous a few months ago when the cute little barista was flirting with Brent and I told him that he could be her daddy issue. It was a well deserved fuck you for sure and it made me laugh. Yes, not many married couples tell each other fuck you with love and humor but it works for us.

I also love a good poppy perky song with Fuck in it. Lily Allen's Fuck You or Cee Lo Green's Fuck You come to mind. Something about the juxtaposition of the light and simple and the f-bomb just pleases me. Sort of like Sarah Silverman's comedy. You just don't expect something so sweet to be so filthy. I have been told that the first time someone hears me cuss it's sort of the same reaction. It has to be the first time, because I cuss all the time, always have, so if you know me for any length of time you hear a lot of foul language.

I've written before about how I believe words are just words and that C wasn't raised with the "don't say that" mentality. He was just raised with the not appropriate for school or around Grandma guidelines. I do try to make sure my language is appropriate for the situation. I didn't cuss at clients at the agency or C's teachers even if they were being fucking idiots at the time, but if you are my friend you hear it all.

Growing up there were levels of cuss words in my house. We could use the word shit with impunity. My mother even says shit. In fact our parakeet learned to mimic three things when I was younger, my brother's sneeze, my mother's laugh and the way my mother says shit. He would run up and down his perch saying, "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit" then laugh just like my mother. It was pretty funny. My sister and I got away with using bitch as long as it wasn't directed at my mother. Funny side story, C told me yesterday that it wasn't until the 5th grade that he even knew bitch was considered a cuss word. He was very familiar with the word, just didn't know it wasn't appropriate for everyone. He also didn't realize it could be used as a noun. That tells you that I am much more likely to tell you quit your bitching than to call you a bitch.

Then there were the unmentionable words. Which might be where my love of the word fuck comes from. It was on the NEVER EVER list. So of course it was the best one to use. I can remember using it on the playground in elementary school. Fuck a rubber duck. My preacher's son went to school with me and threatened to tell his father. I looked at him and said "go ahead." Something in the way I looked at him made him decide not to say a word. Wise boy.

The other words we couldn't use were God, damn and hell and especially not the phrase Goddamn it to hell! That would have resulted in many many hours of grounding and most likely a backhand to the mouth. No Jesus, Christ or Jesus Christ either. Those would be the blasphemous curses and they just weren't okay in a religious household. Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain. Which also included jeez and depending on her mood gosh darn it. The preacher's son I mentioned earlier? He was grounded for two weeks and had his boom box taken away from him when he father heard him singing along to a song..."Hot damn summer in the city..." funny thing is he got the lyric wrong and it's really "Hot town summer in the city...." oops!

My drama teacher in high school used the phrase Got Dandruff! Some of it itches! And we all used that for awhile just because it was insane. Then my group of friends picked up God bless America, twice daily! I have no idea how it evolved into the twice daily part, but one of the joys of marrying your high school sweetheart is not having to explain why you say God bless America, twice daily! When you are frustrated with a project.

When you cuss as often and with as much variety as I do you sometimes forget that not everyone does. And you forget the pure shock value of a well placed swear. When I was home for my father's funeral a few weeks ago I spent a lot of time at my mom's house, as you can imagine. Well a recent addition was a "No Parking" sign that had been put up in front of their place. It was obviously not a city sign, just one that had been tacked up and I ignored it and parked where I have since they moved into the house. My brother told me he would have to tell our nephew (who put the sign up to keep the neighbors away apparently) that I paid as much attention to the sign as the neighbors do. I told him, "Yeah, I saw it and thought fuck that and parked there anyway" As soon as the words fuck that were out of my mouth the sip of tea he was taking was out of his. Nice spit take on shock value.

Then there is the tone and mood of the fuck you. Like I said, it can be very playful. But it can also be about the harshest thing you can say to someone and also one of the saddest. Depending on how you say it. Is it being barked out? Short clipped FUCK YOU! or is it the slow head shake walk away quieter...fuck you... It's all about the tone. Fuck you can be just the last straw of disgust at someone or the white flag of I give up, you are irredeemable and I am done. Because tone is so important I find that I swear less online than when I speak. I just can't convey the level of communication I want with that few of words in writing, but I can when I am able to add the tone.

So yes, I swear, a lot. I don't even think about it for the most part. I don't do it to shock you. I just do it because I like the words. They fit what I am talking about at the time. And if you know me and talk to me for any length of time then you are used to it.

Which in a way I wish was different. I would love to be able to hold the shock power, the force behind a swear when you don't swear often...Mrs. Weasley, I am looking at you.

Fuck that. I just like to swear.

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